


Three Days

by Silent_Specter



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mystery, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 12:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 42,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8714773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silent_Specter/pseuds/Silent_Specter
Summary: A post-Medusa fic, exploring what might happen when Supergirl finally goes to talk to Lena Luthor. The two begin to see each other more clearly after a particularly tense night, but whenever Luthors and Supers are involved, there's bound to be trouble as well. Will Lena and Kara find happiness, or are they destined to play out the tragedies of their families forever? (This story is heavily focused around Lena. It's mainly Supercorp, but there is some quality Sanvers in there! Also some unexpected brotp Maggie/Lena. Minor appearances by other characters.)





	1. Balcony

Three days. Three days and nothing. Complete radio silence. She’d betrayed her family to do the right thing… And nothing. Not one word from the Girl of Steel. Not one word from her partner…the green alien with the evil cyborg doppleganger. Not one from Alex…Kara’s mysterious sister who apparently worked for the FBI in conjunction with Supergirl.

And almost most hurtful of all, not one word from Kara Danvers. Kara who was supposedly her friend. Who had come to her with some bullshit about an article about mothers and daughters. But Lena had seen right through that. Kara had known. She’d known something was going on with Lillian. And she hadn’t said anything. Instead she apparently thought that Lena knew and was trying to get her to spill… and for what? Some story? Lena could only imagine the headline. ‘Mother/Daughter Luthor Team Behind Terrorist Organization Cadmus’. She had thought Kara and she were…close? Friends? Lena didn’t know.

The rest of the people she could see not contacting her. She was used to being dismissed and ignored. And to think Alex or Supergirl’s alien friend might call or check up on her was reaching at best, her and Alex had only met twice, and she’d never met the imposing green alien. And she and Supergirl didn’t know each other, not really. But Kara’s deception and lack of contact? That stung. That made her chest ache for some reason.

And so, three days later, she was standing on her balcony three drinks in. Three large glasses of scotch. And her thoughts were starting to get dark.

The first day, she’d been numb. Waiting. Hoping that someone would tell her she’d done the right thing. That she hadn’t destroyed everything she knew for something that might be worse. She hadn’t eaten. Her stomach twisted itself into knots.

The second day she’d been restless. She’d dismissed Jess for the day and sat dry mouthed at her desk, trying to answer emails. Trying to do damage control. Trying not to read internet comments that said the Luthors were all bad and why didn’t they just arrest Lena too because OBVIOUSLY she was involved. She’d walked past Kara’s building on her way home, out of her way, but something had drawn her there, but the lights were out and she didn’t want to stop by anyways because what would she say? She was…she didn’t know. A name for the emotion she was feeling eluded her.

The third day she’d awoken and not gotten out of bed for several hours. And nobody had checked on her, or even cared she hadn’t shown up for work. There was a dull pain behind her eyes and she hadn’t felt well. But nobody was coming. She was alone. She should have accepted that by now. With all her years living that reality…she should know that. She would never fit anywhere. Not with the Luthors. Not with the Supers. Not with friends. No. The universe had decided that she didn’t deserve anyone. She should know that by now. She was not good or smart or anything else that Supergirl had said about her. If she was, she would not be so alone. She wandered to the office around 11 at night, not able to face another moment in her apartment. Her head felt fuzzy. Had she eaten? It was quiet and empty. The lobby filled with construction cones and police tape still. And she’d poured herself a drink. And another. And another. And suddenly she was pushing the glass balcony table over to the railing, taking off her shoes, and stepping up, toes over the ledge now, staring out at the city. One hand rested on the wall beside her, the other stretched out and felt the slight breeze. Maybe…Maybe if she just…stepped out…she wouldn’t be so tired or alone.

There was a slight flutter in her periphery vision, but she didn’t look over. Just looked over the hazy city.

“Hoping I’ll jump? Solve your Luthor problem for good?” She couldn’t help the dark tone to her words.

“You know that’s not true…” Supergirl’s voice was quiet. Tired. Lena finally glanced over. Supergirl was sitting on the edge the railing. Looking out of the sleepy city too. Her head was bowed slightly.

“Do I?” Lena’s voice had a bite too it. “So what, here to take me in kicking and screaming to some psych ward if I jump …or even if I don’t? Let me be the last crazed Luthor?”

“I don’t think you’re crazy.”

“I don’t need to be saved if I jump… I don’t want you to-”

“If you don’t want me to…I won’t.” 

The answer took Lena’s breath for a minute. There was a deep furrow in Supergirl’s brow, and she had her hands folded into themselves. “Don’t get me wrong…I would want to save you…I would be devastated…But…I respect you. As much as I might disagree…I wouldn’t take that choice from you.” Supergirl’s eyes were earnest and pained as she looked at Lena. Lena couldn’t stand the weight of their gaze and looked out to the city again. “I know everyone thinks I’m naïve…but I’m not so naïve I couldn’t understand a pain so heavy it would make me want to get rid of it in any way I could.” There was a moment of silence. Lena shifted her feet, toes still gripping the edge.

“When I first came here…I was a girl. I had lost…everything. Everything I knew. Everyone I loved and cared about. My entire world. And my cousin who I was sent to protect…he didn’t need me…and he couldn’t care for me. He had his own life…and…couldn’t…” Supergirl’s hands kneaded together and she was quiet. “…I was in so much pain. But I got lucky because I got a family who loved me here. But I’m not naïve enough to think that everyone gets that kind of luck either. I know many people don’t.” Lena’s hands were shaking in the cold. “I don’t know if you’re in pain…or why you’re standing up there… It doesn’t really matter. But if you wanted to jump…it would be your choice. And I could find respect for it… Because I have felt pain so overwhelming I wished I wasn’t alive…and I have had choices taken from me…and I respect you too much to take that from you. Not after everything you’ve sacrificed.”

Lena exhaled shakily.

Supergirl didn’t say anything more, just looked back down at the city.

And Lena appreciated it. No attempt at lightening the situation. No guilt tripping. No self-righteous speech. Just an acknowledgement of the pain. And an acknowledgement of why. Of what she’d risked and what she’d given. She sat down, her legs swinging the open air slightly. Her head was spinning. She just needed to sit a minute.

“So where were you?” It came out before she could stop it. She took another sip of her drink now that she had it in her hand again. It sounded more desperate than she had meant it. Though she hadn’t MEANT to say it at all. Supergirl sounded contrite when she responded. Guilty that it had taken so long to show up.

“It’s a long story …I am sorry. That it took so long… I was going to come sooner…to thank you…but another friend had an emergency problem on an alternate earth…and it ran a bit longer than I expected.” Lena raised an eyebrow.

“Alternate earth?”

“Hey, I’m from another planet and I had a hard time believing it when I met him last year. But yeah, apparently, the multiverse theory or whatever it’s called… is true.”

“Hm.” Lena took another sip. Her brow crinkled. She set her glass down forcefully and turned to Supergirl.

“You know Kara Danvers right?” Supergirl looked surprised by this question.

“Uh…yes. Yes we’ve met. I wouldn’t say we’re particularly close but-“

“But she’s sourced you?”

“Yes. She has. I-“

“So she’s just out for her career? For the stories?” Lena’s chest was aching again, but an anger was bubbling up too. Supergirl seemed at a loss for words. “She came to me with some stupid cover just to get information to see if I knew about my mother. She was just out for the story right? Just out to pin it on my family… and me.” The words tumbled out. If Lena had been a little less drunk and a lot less depressed, the idea of sitting on a balcony venting to a superhero might have struck her as funny. But right now, she was just sad and mad and…betrayed. She felt betrayed. She’d felt enough of that in her life to know what it felt like. So why had it been so hard to place when it was betrayal coming from Kara?

“She didn’t think you knew anything.” Supergirl’s voice was a whisper. That deep pain back behind her eyes and Lena couldn’t understand it.

“So why not just ask me?” Lena’s voice had a sob to it now she couldn’t stop. “If she didn’t think I was hiding anything, why not just come to me as…as a fr…Why come at me like I’m some Luthor snake…Like I’m….” she stopped and gripped the glass, resisting the urge to chuck it over the side of the building. Supergirl opened her mouth to say something and stopped. It happened a few more times.

“She should have.” She finally said. Head bowed. “She should have…” Lena didn’t know why the hero was taking Kara’s choice so personally. “If it’s any consolation…I think she feels badly.”

“Why? Did you talk to her?”

“Not since I’ve been back. But she’s been gone too. Uh…family trouble or something. We don’t talk often, but that’s just what I heard.” Supergirl sounded awkward. 

“I just thought we were friends. I was stupid to think-”

“You weren’t. Stupid. Listen, Kara Danvers isn’t perfect. And neither am I. But I wouldn’t write her off. She made a mistake. And it was a pretty big one, I’ll admit. But she doesn’t think that about you. She was there, when a group was calling you guilty. And she defended you. She swore you didn’t know anything. I think she was afraid to ask you…because she didn’t want to ruin the view you had of your mother.” The admission surprised Lena. She hadn’t… She hadn’t thought about that. “I’m not one to gossip really, but I don’t think Kara would mind this time. Her parents died when she was young…and she was adopted too. And I think she worried… about ruining what family you had left.”

“I thought you weren’t close.” Lena mumbled, trying to process.

“We’re not.” Supergirl insisted. “Just professional acquaintances. But I work with her sister sometimes…her adopted sister. I’ve picked up on some things.”

“If she was worried about me…why ask at all?” Lena trailed off.

“Because she saw her other friends scared…I think she just…wanted to calm their fears. Make them see they were wrong. But she did go about it all wrong…didn’t she?” Lena set down her glass, quietly this time, a little sick to her stomach. Her head still felt fuzzy, but she was starting to realize she hadn’t eaten anything in a few days.

“Probably… but I can understand…wanting to help and just making things worse…if that’s what happened.” Lena stood up again, the table rattling a little. One hand against the side of the wall, the other rubbing her side. “It’s cold.” She said plainly.

“I can never tell.” There was a small smile on Supergirl’s face now. “Like Elsa, the cold never really bothered me.” Lena snorted.

“Gotta say Supergirl, I didn’t really take you for a Frozen fan.” Lena stopped and then shook her head. “Then again, that does fit.” She allowed a hint of a smile at the corner of her lips. The first in days. It didn’t feel horrible. In starting to sober up, the height was starting to make her dizzy again though. She turned, meaning to step down off the table onto the balcony, but she must have still been a little more drunk than she realized, because a foot slipped on the ledge and she started to fall. A startled animal noise tore itself from her throat. But a warm hand caught hers in an instant.

“Whoa. Hey. I got you.” Supergirl’s smile was warm and reassuring. She allowed herself to be lifted over the ledge back onto the safety of the balcony. Supergirl’s body was warm close to hers and she realized just how cold she had been.

“Thought you were going to let me go.” She said with her eyes narrowed in a teasing way. Supergirl smiled again, a hint of self-deprecation in the way her eyebrows crinkled together.

“In my defense, that didn’t really seem like a jump.” She bit her lip, and her face got more serious. “But I really was telling the truth. I wouldn’t take that from you if you wanted it.” A beat of silence.

“I know.” Lena couldn’t meet Supergirl’s eyes again. “Thank you though. For not letting me go out on some drunken slip up. If I do go…I would want it to be my choice. And probably with a little more grace than that.” It was gallows humor, and it shouldn’t have made either of them chuckle, but for some reason it did. Who would have thought Supergirl could appreciate dark humor? Lena swayed and a hand went to her temple. “I need to sit down…” She started to head into her office. She sat down on the couch only to realize that the hero hadn’t followed. “You can come i-”

“Oh no, I just wasn’t sure. The last time I just barged in and-”

“Look you’re welcome in anytime I-”

“I know but I should have-”

“I was having a day and I just, oh but you probably have to be going to be-”

“No, I don’t need to be…I want… I would be happy to come in.” Their awkward-stepping-over-each-other-conversation finally ended with Supergirl coming and closing the door behind her. As soon as it shut, Lena felt her body sag in relief. The tenuous and painful humming that had been coursing through her veins and her head from being that close to the edge…to the edge of the balcony…to the edge of her pain…to the edge of…Lena couldn’t even find the words again…something more? It all finally released with the closing of the door. She felt tears running down her cheeks as she stared at the closed door.

“Lena?” Supergirl seemed more worried about her now. Lena couldn’t stop the sobs emanating from her chest. Supergirl crossed the room quickly, warm hands and arms enveloping her. “Hey…I got you. I got you.” Lena let herself fall into the hero’s embrace. “I got you. I’m here. You’re not alone.” Supergirl’s hands were soft and careful. Rubbing her back, drawing her closer in the hug. “I got you.”


	2. Hangover

Lena cracked open one eye. Too bright. Much too bright. She closed both eyes tight and let out a small groan of pain. Hungover. She hadn’t been hungover in a while. Mostly because she didn’t drink much. And she didn’t drink much because- because. Well. It was too early and she was in too much pain to get into that. Or at least she figured it was early. It was bright, so that meant, early right? Or at least day? Her head hurt too much to work out the logic. She was gripping a blanket tightly with both hands.

An overwhelming nausea suddenly rushed to her head and stomach. She opened her eyes, met with the blinding light again and a world that wouldn’t quite focus, but she needed to find a trashcan or a sink or a toilet or an unused flower pot NOW.

She vaguely saw a bucket being handed to her and she grabbed it and heaved. One hand stayed gripped on the blanket though, somewhere in between the pain her mind blared that she needed to keep a hold of it.  Don’t let go. Soft hands carefully held her hair away, and rubbed at her back.

She finally managed to get a momentary hold on the spinning and the nausea, and she closed her eyes tight again. The bucket was taken gently from her and she curled up, clutching the blanket closer to her.

“Lena?” the voice was quiet, thankfully not causing too much pain in her swimming mind. Lena cracked open an eye and someone had a fizzing glass of water. “This might help.” She should have been worried, she was used to being alone, who was here? But the voice held concern, actual concern, well what she figured to be, she knew it wasn’t fake concern because she knew what fake sounded like and this wasn’t it, and so she gratefully took the glass, drank it down, and then it was taken from her with the same gentleness as the bucket. The blanket was rearranged over her with care and she settled into it, her mind tired and hurting. But the nausea had passed for now. And that, paired with the blanket protecting her, was enough to send her back to sleep.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

When she woke up next, her head was still pounding, but the nausea had almost completely dissipated. She chanced opening her eyes. Everything still felt too bright, but it wasn’t as overwhelming as before. She was on her couch. In her apartment. The tv was on a low and comforting hum in the background. Fixer Upper. She pulled the blanket closer to her. It was soft and comfortable and smelled like summer. Crisp air, grass and earth, something warm that she couldn’t place, and vaguely of chlorine. Had she fallen asleep watching TV again? Why hadn’t her alarm gone off?  She was going to be late for wo-

Work.

Wait.

How had she gotten to her apartment?

The thought sent off alarm bells in her head, because suddenly the last few days and the night before were rushing back and replaying in her head.

She had been drunk. And upset. And the balcony. Oh god. And the whole almost jumping thing. And Supergirl. And crying. She had cried so much. And  Supergirl had held her?  And then what? How did she get here?

She sat straight up, jittery now. She didn’t like not feeling in control. She didn’t like not remembering. And that’s when she realized the red blanket she had been gripping so tightly was not a blanket at all. It was a cape. Lena’s face flashed as bright crimson as the cape in her hands. She let go of it as though she’d been burned.

What in the hell.

What in the actual hell.

Her throat felt tight. Think. Breathe.

Her eyes focused on the coffee table in front of her. It had a few things on it. A bucket, (clean now, Lena noticed). A water bottle and a Gatorade. Some aspirin in a little dish. And a note. She grabbed the note with trembling hands. In angular but somewhat foreign looking cursive-

“Lena, I hope you’re feeling better. I don’t know if you remember, but in case there are some missing blanks:

You were upset at your office last night, and so I stayed with you and we talked. We were there until around 5:30 am, when your employees started to trickle in. You didn’t want to call a car because there was press starting to sniff around the lobby, and so I offered to fly you home so you could stay out of the spotlight. You had a pretty good grip on my cape after the flight though, and there were a few emergencies that required my assistance, so keep it safe for me until I can come retrieve it?

Thanks,

Supergirl”

Lena grabbed for her laptop immediately. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust the hero, but she had had a rough week, the betrayal from her mother, though somewhat expected, was gnawing at her, and she just needed the reassurance. She needed to be able to believe in something. She cued up the security footage from both her office and her apartment, and around 5:30, just as Supergirl had said, Lena saw herself starting to drunkenly and exhaustedly panic on screen when she realized her employees were starting to show up. And she could see herself looking at the cameras, and there were the reporters. Supergirl was there next to her though, with a hand on her shoulder, speaking. She had asked Lena something, but the cameras didn’t catch sound. Lena had nodded though, and Supergirl had picked her up. And a moment after that they had showed up on the balcony cam at Lena’s apartment.

Lena noticed she WAS gripping Supergirl’s cape rather tightly. Supergirl had set her on the couch, taken off her cape when she realized Lena wasn’t letting go of it anytime soon, and covered Lena with it,  because in the safety of her apartment,  Lena had very quickly given in to her exhaustion. She saw Supergirl turn the TV on. It was interesting, watching the hero decide to turn on the TV for her. It was very…human for some reason…and the action threw her. And then Supergirl had made to leave.

But then Lena saw herself stir and say something. Whatever it was made the hero pause. She had spoken again. And THAT made Supergirl turn around and sit in the chair opposite the couch. She was looking out the window mostly, head cocked to the side, occasionally texting someone with a phone pulled from her boot. The texting threw Lena in the same way the TV had. It was too normal and commonplace. And it left too many questions. Who was she texting with? What about?

And more importantly, damn it. What had SHE said to Supergirl to make her stay? Now it was going to kill her. And Supergirl was either too chivalrous or too kind or too embarrassed to mention it in her note.

She saw herself stir a couple of times, and Supergirl looked over at her, making sure she was ok. And then she saw herself start to toss in her sleep. She was crying out, she could tell. Her face flushed red again watching the playback. Now Supergirl knew she got nightmares. Wonderful. She saw Supergirl stand, and place a tentative hand on Lena’s shoulder again. She had calmed after a few unknown words from the hero, and Supergirl retreated to the chair again. An hour or so later, Lena saw herself start to sit up, clearly disoriented, and she saw Supergirl speed to her side with the bucket from under her kitchen sink. And she threw up. Then Supergirl was there with the glass of alka seltzer. And rearranging the cape over Lena.

Another hour or so and Supergirl stood suddenly, she must have heard something too big to let someone else handle off in the city. She saw the hero look at Lena for a minute, shift on her feet, blur out of frame, and then the water bottle, Gatorade and aspirin appeared on the table with the bucket and the note. A bit more fast forwarding and Lena had caught up to present time. She breathed out in relief.

Ok. So it was kind of bad, but not that bad. At least she hadn’t drunkenly had sex with anyone. Or worse. She was safe. Other than the hangover, the headache that was making her eyes water from pain, the gnawing hunger from not eating in days, the embarrassment of being a drunken mess in front of a superhero, and of course the swirling emotions from her life generally falling apart, she was fine. She picked up the cape, absent-mindedly, starting to fold it. She was completely and totally fi-

A knock behind her made her jump. She dropped the cape, whirled around and there was Supergirl standing on her balcony with a soft smile, one arm up in a kind of awkward half wave.

Lena moved to the door and opened it. Her mind was racing. What was she supposed to say after everything? What was-

“I never realized how ridiculous that ensemble looks without the cape.” Lena said before she could stop herself. Well. That was certainly SOMETHING to say. Luckily Supergirl was as gracious as ever and laughed.

“Oh believe me I know.” Lena motioned her in after a minute of staring. “People were giving me funny looks and asking what happened to it all morning.” Morning? Lena glanced at the clock. 10:13 AM. No wonder she still felt exhausted. Around 4 1/2 hours of restless, nightmare filled, alcohol induced sleep.

“And so what d-“ Lena stopped herself before the rest of the thought found its way out. But Supergirl was already ahead of her.

“I just told them a friend needed to borrow it for a while.” Lena handed her the half folded cape.

“I uh…I’m sorry if-“ She stopped herself again. Supergirl’s eyebrows scrunched questioningly as she put the cape back on. Lena’s eyes traced the red fabric.

“Sorry if?” Supergirl pressed gently.

The words that wanted to tumble out of Lena’s mouth were something like- I’m sorry if I ruined it. Or I’m sorry if it smells like sick. Or I’m sorry if I was trouble last night. I’m sorry if I was taking up your time being a mess of a human being while people out there needed help. I’m sorry I’m Luthor scum. I’m sorry for my mother and my brother and I’m sorry you didn’t trust me because I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. She swallowed thickly, forcing her eyes away.

“I’m sorry if you needed it.”

“Really, it was no trouble.” Supergirl gave that warm smile again, and Lena wanted to feel some sort of reassurance from it, because it was so pure and kind, but all she could feel was shame.

“I’m sure you’ve got things to attend to?” Lena was hoping. Because she didn’t have the strength to keep standing here and pretending everything was ok. She was grateful to Supergirl, but that didn’t mean her life wasn’t still in flames.

Supergirl ducked her head, the spell of the moment broken.

“Uh, yes. Yes. I should, be going.” She started to the door.

“Supergirl?” Lena internally wished God would smite her down and keep her from talking anymore. What was wrong with her. Maybe she was still a bit drunk? The hero turned to her again. “Thank you. For…for everything. I really appreciate it. I promise it won’t ever happen again. I know it was so stupid of me.” There was a confused and kind of sad look on Supergirl’s face now. Pity?

“Lena you-“ sirens in the distance stopped her. She looked conflicted. Lena looked out at the city.

“Duty calls Supergirl. Someone needs you.” She said and Supergirl nodded slightly.

“Lena…Take care…ok?”

“Mm.” The hero looked unsatisfied with Lena’s response, but the wail of the sirens was growing louder, and it was clearly something bad, so she put a hand on Lena’s shoulder for a second, as she’d done so many times last night and early this morning, as though trying to communicate something, some kind of caring something, before she dove into the sky. Lena watched her disappear, and then the height seemed to pull at her feet and she backed away into her apartment, trying to escape the tendrils of bad thoughts that begged her to jump. Jump. Just jump. She closed the door and headed for the shower. She needed to go to work. She couldn’t be here. Not right now. Not alone. Not with the height calling her and no cape to shield her from it.


	3. Plumerias

Lena sat at her desk. Noon. She’d managed a shower and she’d managed getting dressed. Then she’d managed to call for a car. Then she’d managed an iron jawed walk past the throngs of reporters. They were thirsty for blood. L-Corp had released a statement of course. Disavowing Lillian’s involvement with Cadmus from the company. Distancing themselves. But that was to be expected. What the reporters really wanted was Lena. They wanted her tears. Her breakdown. Her culpability even.

It was just like when Lex... Except this was worse in a way. Everyone had that one bad relative, so there was still at least a modicum of empathy when that had all happened. But to have a brother go bad, and then to learn that the mother was also hell bent on death and destruction in some sort of crusade as well? At that point in most people’s minds, the whole family was bad or broken or warped. It was just a matter of uncovering it.

And so the reporters had barked and yelled and grabbed at her as she walked, surrounded by security, to the building. They’d been prowling around the front of the building for days of course. But with no quote from Lena still, and the added buzz that she MAY have been at the office late last night, they had worked themselves into a frenzy today. They were almost rabid.

But Lena, for better or worse, was a Luthor. And she had learned at an early age to not give emotions away freely, if ever. So her face was a mask, makeup all just so, her posture impeccable, her clothes were pressed. Basically the exact opposite of everything she’d been when Supergirl had found her at her office early this morning. She managed. She was poised and steady.

At least until she made it upstairs. Alone in the confines of her office, her walk had wavered, betraying her.  She felt weak. Had she-? Despite several glasses of water, she still hadn’t eaten. God she should really eat something. The nausea was back, but if she didn’t eat something soon, she might actually pass out, and wouldn’t that make for a headline if an ambulance suddenly arrived in front of L-Corp for her. She rang Jess, and had her order a bowl of soup. And then she just sat. She just needed a minute. Just to sit. Wind rattled the windows behind her and she shivered.

Jess brought the soup in shortly, and poured Lena a glass of water. Her assistant was quieter than usual, and Lena appreciated the space. Her aching head appreciated the silence. She managed several spoons full of soup before it tasted like ash and she lost her appetite. Oh well. Something was better than nothing. She moved to the couch and rubbed her hands wearily over her eyes. There was a rap at the door, and she pulled the mask up to her face again.

“Come in.” Jess entered, biting her lip.

“Ms. Luthor?  Kara Danvers is outside. I thought I would check whether you wanted to see her this time. I know you haven’t released anything to the press.”

Lena flinched at Kara’s name. Supergirl had said Kara had stood up for her, but the sting of the deception was still there.

“Tell her… tell her…” Lena rubbed at her temple. “Tell her I have no statement at this time.” Lena looked back to her laptop. Jess nodded and disappeared. Another rap at the door a moment later.

“What Jess?” Lena said, some irritation bleeding into her voice.

Jess peeked her head around the door.

“Uh…Ms. Luthor, she says she’s not here for any kind of statement or story. She… she has flowers?” Lena’s eyebrow raised.

“Flowers?”

“Flowers.” Jess repeated. Lena sighed. As much as she just wanted to bury her head in the sand and never deal with the situation with Kara again, she did… need to deal with it. Ok, she didn’t. But she should. She shouldn’t let this bridge burn so easily, no matter who had started the fire. Especially with Kara Danvers. Kara who she’d given a big speech to asking for a fresh start the very first time she’d met her. Kara who defended her, according to Supergirl. She repeated that fact to herself internally, and then shook her head.

“Alright, send her in Jess. Tell her I can’t talk long though, I need to finish going over the financial report and the research journals.” Jess nodded. It wasn’t a total lie. She needed to finish those things, maybe not tonight, but honestly she was nervous about talking to Kara too long.

“Yes Ms.Luthor.”

Kara was walking through her door a second later. She had a small bouquet of flowers, just as Jess had said. White daisies and to Lena’s surprise, a few plumerias.  Where had the reporter managed to find those?

“Lena I’m so sorry.” She held the flowers out for Lena. Lena stared. Kara’s face looked etched in sorrow of some kind, but Lena couldn’t stop the bite in her words. Too much time having to defend herself in the Luthor house had made it second nature.

“It’s not like my mother’s dead Ms. Danvers. Just in prison.” Lena pretended she didn’t see the momentary hurt in Kara’s eyes at stiffness in her address.  She passed Kara and went to the water pitcher. Kara pulled the flowers into her chest again.

“I know… that’s not. Not really what I meant… I came to apologize for some stuff.” Lena kept her back to Kara. Didn’t want to look her in the eyes. “Lena… uh… Ms. Luthor…I know you’re not stupid. You knew I was after something when we spoke last… I just… I want to apologize. I should have been transparent with my reason for coming that day, and I wasn’t… and I can’t take it back…. But I can promise it won’t ever happen again….I’m sorry. If I hurt you. Or if it seemed like I was just out for a headline, which I wasn’t, by the way….just…just so you know. I know I screwed up, but I also need you to know I wasn’t planning on writing anything about…about it all. I was trying to reassure some other friends, I don’t think its any secret I have some extraterrestrial acquaintances, and I didn’t suspect you for a minute, but they were freaking out…and I thought I could protect everyone…but I messed up with you… really bad. I know I did. And I’m sorry.” Lena sighed and turned to the reporter, who finally seemed done rambling. She held out her hand for the flowers because she was holding a glass of water to use as a vase now. Kara eagerly handed them over, wanting to make things right. “And I’m really sorry it took so long for me to show up. I had a… thing come up.”

“What kind of thing Kara?” Kara cringed as Lena sat again, arranging the flowers. Lena had caught the look though. She braced herself for a lie.

“I can’t really… it was kind of a complicated extended family thing…”

Lena reclined on the couch and looked up at Kara. She raised an eyebrow.

“A complicated extended family thing? “ Kara’s face turned serious and she let out a breath she’d been holding. .

“Alright…so it wasn’t technically family…. But it was complicated. I just…” Lena could hear the blonde struggling with her words. “…Alex was right, I am… the worst liar…” Kara mumbled.  “… I can’t really explain it. And don’t want to stand here and lie to you. Not after I just apologized for it. Just know I wanted to come sooner. Because that is the truth.  I should have been honest with you. And I should have been here for you. Because you said we were friends once… and if I had been a good one... I would have been here. When everything happened.” Lena finally made actual eye contact with Kara instead of glancing. The reporter was sincere, and Lena could read the obvious regret on her as well. “I’m sorry.” Kara said again.

“Did you know my mother was involved in Cadmus?” Lena asked the question point blank, and she saw Kara stiffen.

“I… with the evidence I knew…I figured she was.” Kara spoke slowly, as though she were choosing her words. Not lying. Lena could tell, but being delicate. “I didn’t think you knew anything though.” Kara said again. “Since I met you, you’ve been someone who has tried to do good…I…I didn’t think you knew.” Lena debated asking about what Supergirl had said. About Kara's parents dying and that being the reason Kara hadn't told her about her mother. She thought better of it. 

“Supergirl said as much. She also said she was kidnapped by my mother.” Kara nodded and Lena saw her swallow thickly.

“Uh…yeah...I...Alex…my sister…she saw her after it had happened. Said she seemed pretty shaken up.”  Lena bit at her lip. Still tooling with the flowers, arranging and rearranging.

“She’s ok though. Right? I mean. I’ve seen her. But my mother didn’t…? There isn’t permanent damage?” Lena’s throat felt tight.

“She’s fine.” Kara reassured, but there was an edge to her voice that made Lena pause. Physically, she was sure Supergirl was fine. But if Lena knew her mother…Maybe there weren’t scars…but maybe Supergirl was hurting. Lena remembered Supergirl’s voice that night. ‘She is cold. And dangerous.’ There was something about the way she said them, that gave Lillian Luthor the dark gravitas Lena knew she was capable of…even if she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it in that moment. Her mother was unforgiving. Lena shuddered involuntarily.

“Lena?” Kara’s voice brought her back to the present.

“Thank you. For the flowers.” Lena said. Her voice seemed small.

“Of course….” There was a moment of silence. “I’m sure you’re busy, Jess mentioned something about reports, so I should leave you to it.” Lena stood, meaning to close the door behind Kara after she’d left, but Kara turned to face her again. “I just…I wanted to tell you…if you can’t forgive me…I will understand Lena.” Kara’s smile was small, and hopeful, but the rest of her features were waiting for bad news and Lena knew it.  “If someone had betrayed me? It would be hard…to trust them again. But I hope we can get things back to where they were. Or if not there, on a new…better path.”  

“I can.” Lena’s response was sudden and it seemed to catch Kara by surprise. Hell, it kind of caught Lena by surprise. She waved her hand. Trying to distract from the tremor in her body. “The whole thing…it was a mess. There are so many pieces to everything. Some of it was bound to be disastrous. So I can Kara. I may not be good at it. But I think I can understand…why you did what you did.” Kara’s face was pure relief as she jolted forward and pulled Lena into a hug. Lena hadn’t been expecting it at all, and she stiffened in surprise.

“Ah. Uh. Sorry.” Kara let go after a second. “I uh. Sorry.” She smiled, but her eyes had settled on the nearly full bowl of cold soup on Lena’s desk. “Not hungry?” She motioned at the soup. Lena shook her head.

“Oh I had a really huge breakfast meeting at like 7 this morning, and I’ve been full ever since.” The lie was easy for Lena. And Lena, unlike Kara, was an excellent liar. So why were Kara Danvers’ eyebrows still all scrunched together like she didn’t buy Lena’s story? Kara seemed to notice Lena’s gaze though because she turned back to the brunette.

“Uh hey…speaking of food, and I know this is kind of both last minute and out of the blue, and if we’re not quite to that point in our friendship, especially considering everything, it’s totally cool, but my sister and I do this sister movie night thing, but she really wanted to bring her new girlfriend, and so it’s gonna be me as an awkward third wheel, and so I guess what I’m saying is, if you’re hungry later and don’t have anything to do or you finish up the reports…Uhh…You should…you should come. All you can eat pizza and pot stickers? Nice lighthearted holiday movie? And absolutely no press whatsoever? Just thought I’d throw it out there. If you have any interest.” Lena had learned to just let Kara talk when she started to ramble, but the offer had thrown her. No one just invited a Luthor to movie night. Even if they were…friends...even if they were as genuinely kind as Kara Danvers....it just…it had never happened. Even before everything with Lex and now Lillian.

“I…I probably have to finish up these reports.” She started out shakily.

“Well, like I said, just thought I’d mention it. If you get a sudden craving for cheese pizza and Cameron Diaz falling in love with Jude Law in an English cottage while Jack Black sings hilarious made up songs to Kate Winslet in a Blockbuster video…stop by, I’m sure Alex would love to have more company.” Kara let out a small chuckle. “I think she’s a bit nervous.” Lena smiled.

“I appreciate it Kara. I’ll see how the reports are looking later. Thank you.” It was a brush off, and Lena was pretty sure Kara knew, but Kara smiled, a real, full Kara Danvers smile this time. No hint of the worry that had plagued her face for most of their conversation, and Lena couldn’t help but return it for a second.

“Of course. Take care Lena.”

“You too Kara.”

Lena rubbed her forehead as she showed Kara out, she had the weirdest feeling of deja-vu, but right now her headache wasn’t letting her thoughts place it.

 

____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Several hours later, after Lena had done all the work she could possibly do, she was starting to get restless. 6 PM. Her body felt tight, and anxious. Things had worked out with Kara. But one look outside told her the press was still waiting for her. Her fingers twitched and she went for the scotch sitting on the counter. Just a glass. Or two. Maybe it would help her nerves. She started to uncork the bottle. But as soon as she did, her phone buzzed violently on her desk. She put down the bottle and looked at the message.

‘Lena about to order the pizzas now, and the pot stickers are on their way. The offer still stands, and Alex said she was totally cool with you coming. We’ll leave the door unlocked if you feel like stopping by, just come on in! -Kara’

Reading the words pizza and pot stickers had made her stomach growl and her pounding head plead with her mind. EAT. EAT. PLEASE EAT. Of course pizza and pot stickers would be the only thing that had not sounded horrible in days. She needed to eat an actual meal or she was seriously starting to risk medical danger at this point. The scotch would be there if she still needed it later. Right now she needed…she needed? Well. She needed to eat. That much was clear.

She put the cork back on the bottle and got her coat.

“Jess, call me a car?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this story probably feels glacial, and it's kind of one of those...internal ones? That deals in feelings a lot more than action, but something about Lena as a character strikes me as very internal. Maybe it's because a lot of the time they hide what she's planning from the audience writing wise? EIther way, I feel like she lives in her head a lot, and I think my characterization of her probably reflects that headcanon, haha. So sorry if it's not really your style.


	4. The Holiday

She had been so hungry the absurdity of what she was doing hadn’t even occurred to her until she was at Kara’s door, arm raised to knock. And then the self-doubt and worry kicked in and she panicked. Backing away from the door, intending to bolt…tumbling right into a delivery boy carrying a stack of boxes.

“Oh! Sorry!” she said as she tried to help him from dropping the boxes. “Sorry, I wasn’t - ” At that moment Kara’s door swung open and revealed the blonde, who was laughing at something someone said back in the apartment. She caught sight of Lena and her eyes lit up.

“Lena! You made it!”

“I’m afraid I almost took out your pizza in the process.” Lena replied, finally securing the last box in the stack.

“I’m FINE by the way.” The delivery boy grumbled.

“Oh calm down Freddy, she’s like a foot shorter than you and she was just apologizing to you.” Kara shushed the young man, and Lena found it oddly charming that Kara was on a first name basis with her pizza delivery boy. Kara handed the skinny redhead a small wad of cash for the pizza. “There’s an extra twenty on top of your regular tip in there for your troubles.” Freddy gave a flustered smile and exchanged the money for the pizzas.

“Thanks Kara.”

“College isn’t cheap, I know. Just try to stay out of trouble, will you?” She teased.

“I’ll do what I can.” He laughed as he headed back down the hallway. Lena followed Kara somewhat nervously into the apartment while Kara set the pizzas on the island.

“I really am sorry if I caused any trouble with-“

“What with Freddy? He’s a good kid, just a bit dramatic sometimes is all. He’ll be fine, promise.”

“Well damn, clearly I have got to start ordering more pizzas because they sure have upgraded the delivery people.” Lena saw Kara’s eyes widen as the voice called out from the far end of the room near the tv.

“That’s. That’s Maggie.” Kara said. Lena made eye contact with the woman who had spoken. Shorter, sitting with her arm around Kara’s sister’s shoulders. All dimples and teasing eyes. Alex’s comfortable eyeroll and headshake let Lena know that the other woman wasn’t trying to flirt with her, just joking. They disentangled and headed over to the island where Kara was trying to busy herself with getting plates and arranging the takeout. There was a candle burning on the table, and in the dim light it made it look like Kara was blushing.

“Good to see you again Lena.” Alex replied, her voice somewhat curt.

“Alex. Good to see you too.” Lena had only met Kara’s sister twice now, but there was something distant in the way she dealt with Lena. Always polite, but it was like she was wary. Lena was used to that though.

“And I’m Maggie, as Kara mentioned.” Maggie held out her hand and Lena shook it.

“Lena. Luthor.” Lena couldn’t help but look away. In the past she would have stood her ground, made eye contact, but the week had left her exhausted and ashamed to be associated with the name. Lena waited for some kind of blow-up, or judging look, but Maggie continued casually.

“Huh. Well isn’t that some shit? I just got shot by a cyborg in your lobby a couple days ago.” Lena’s eyes snapped back to Maggie. Cop? Had to be… Or alien? Kara had said she had alien acquaintances?

“That thing shot you?”

“Yep. Laser-eyed me and I lived to tell about it.”

“Showoff.” Alex rolled her eyes again and took a swig of a beer.

“Alex thinks the scar is hot.” Maggie whispered loudly and she winked at Lena. “But I think whoever sewed it up could have done a bit better jo-“ Alex hit her fondly in the shoulder as she left for the couches with a plate of food. “Ok ouch, uncalled for Danvers. Uncalled for.” Maggie said as she laughed, joining Alex on the far couch and leaning into her.  When they were out of earshot, attention turned to the tv, Lena whispered to Kara.

“Ok, they are seriously adorable.” In front of her Kara let out a breath, as though she’d been holding it, and smiled genuinely.

“They kinda are aren’t they?”

“So is Maggie…?” Lena’s curiosity had gotten the better of her.

“Is Maggie what?”

“You know is she…” Kara’s eyebrows were scrunched together again.

“Uh, well. I mean, they kind of both are. That’s the point.”

“Your sister is an alien?!?” Lena blurted out a little too loudly and she saw Alex choke on a piece of pizza and immediately look to Kara with wide eyes.

“No! No, God no. ALEX,” Kara emphasized, “is noooot an alien. And neither is Maggie. They’re uh, they’re both human.... Not that there’s anything wrong with being an alien.” She added quickly.

“No, of course not, that’s not what I meant.” Lena said just as rapidly, well aware of what it probably looked like, a Luthor blabbering about aliens and all. “I don’t think there is anything wrong with being an alien. I just. I thought?” Lena’s was sure her cheeks were bright red at this point, but Alex let out a strangled laugh and broke some of the tension.

“Ha, can you imagine if I was though?”

“It was a misunderstanding.” Kara explained to Alex and Maggie. One of Maggie’s eyebrows was quirked up in amusement at the entire situation, like coming here tonight was the best decision she had made this year. “I thought…she was trying to ask something else…and clearly…we were not on the same page.” Kara turned back to Lena. “My bad.” Maggie took a sip from her own drink and smiled at Lena.

“You’re a little strange Pizza Girl, but I think you’ll fit right in with these two weirdsmobiles.”

“This coming from the woman who has actually dated aliens.” Alex fired back good-naturedly. Maggie shrugged as Lena looked at her with new curiosity.

“Dating aliens? Does not make you a weirdsmobile. Being able to quote every line of dialogue from every Disney movie ever made back and forth to each other? Weirdsmobiles.” Maggie teased, and she winked at Lena again. Lena made a mental note that were she to try and make friends with more people, Maggie would probably be near the top of the list. The woman was absolutely unflappable, and her smoothing things over with ease was the only reason Lena hadn’t made some excuse to leave yet. But it was as though Kara could sense Lena’s discomfort, because a plate bumped against her hands, full of food, and Lena’s stomach growled just looking at it.

“Here.” Kara’s smile was warm and encouraging as she motioned to the couch on the left. Lena sat in the corner and took a tentative bite of food, feeling like she was being stared at. Her cheeks still rosy from blushing.  Kara joined her a second later, setting a glass of water on the coffee table in front of Lena.

“Thanks.” The brunette replied shyly.

“No problem.” Kara's eyes were lit up again.  “So is everyone good with The Holiday?”

“I’m down with whatever.” Maggie said. “But my first vote will always go to Home Alone. AKA the best Christmas movie ever made.” Alex on the other hand had groaned when Kara mentioned the title.

“Ughh…”

“Alex you promised!”

“You know how I feel about romantic comedies Kara.” Lena watched with interest as she chewed on a piece of pizza, trying to eat slowly. She was starving, but the last thing she wanted to do was make herself sick from eating too much too fast. Getting to see Kara’s sister dynamic with Alex though? That was fascinating to her. Kara was very much the little sister. Still Kara, but a tad sillier, a tad sassier and Lena thought it was precious. Her relationship with Lex had been so much different than this.

“Puhleeeease?” Kara hit Alex with wide eyes, downturned brows and pouty lip.

“Hey not fair. You’re not allowed to use the puppy dog eyes against me for stuff like this! And Maggie is obviously biased,” she turned to her girlfriend, “because Die Hard, NOT Home Alone, is clearly the best Christmas movie ever made. So I say we let Lena decide.” Lena stopped chewing.

“Yeah Pizza Girl, weigh in, what’s the best Christmas movie?” Maggie nodded at her.

“I uh… I don’t know. We didn’t really wa--I’m fine with whatever.” She ended lamely. She looked down at her pizza briefly and then looked back up, trying to backtrack. “I mean, I’ve never seen The Holiday?”

“Alllllex, she’s never seen it and it’s such a beautiful film about-“

“Alright fine, put it on.” Alex threw up a hand and Maggie kissed her cheek.

“Aww, such a good big sis.” Alex grumbled.

“Such a conniving little sis is more like it.” She glared in a classic big-sisterly way at Kara, who could only smile at her success while she pulled up the movie.

Lena finished her food rather quickly, despite actively trying to slow herself down. She pulled her legs up on the couch after a while, noting that Alex had, and deciding it was probably ok to do so. She was cold and she wrapped her arms around her legs. Kara wordlessly handed her a blanket from a stack near the tv a second later. Lena murmured her thanks, still watching the movie. She glanced over at Alex and Maggie. This time Alex had her arm around Maggie, who was curled into her, Alex’s chin resting against her head. Their closeness and obvious care for eachother made Lena feel safe, and with a stomach full of food, her body felt like it was made of sand. Melting into the couch, falling, grain by grain. Darkness.

 

____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Howl. A wolf chasing her and thorns and branches ripping at her legs and arms. Dragging her down. She could feel the desperate beat of her heart, she wasn’t going to get away- The wolf jumped and bit at her spine and Lena could feel herself crying out. The wolf’s teeth gnashed.

“Can’t run away. Can’t hide. I know what you're thinking.” It taunted. Lena couldn’t move. The wolf bit and Lena cried again. But suddenly it was banished and the sky turned to day. A warm feeling on her shoulder. Comforting. Voices, but Lena couldn’t make out who they belonged to? The trees? They sounded underwater.

“God, she is like…out-out.” One of them said.

“She kind of had a rough week.” This one sounded familiar.

“Oh I don’t doubt it. I dealt with the father as a rookie. He was a piece of work.” The first voice again. A rookie tree? It didn’t make sense, and Lena could still feel the wolf bites on her spine.

“Should we wake her up...?” A new voice.

“No. She needs to sleep.” The second voice. The kind, earnest one. “We should let her sleep.” A comfortable softness all over now. And a smell like summer. Refreshing air, warm earth, and vaguely of chlorine. The pain in her spine ebbed away bit by bit, and Lena let the fading sounds of the underwater trees take her to somewhere sunlit and pleasantly devoid of worry.


	5. Breakfast

“Lena?” She was so comfortable, she didn’t want to acknowledge the voice. “Hey…Lena?” Lena groaned and pulled a pillow over her head. She heard a chuckle. “Lena there’s breakfast if you want some.” Breakfast? Who had made breakfast she lived alo- For the second time in two days, Lena sat straight up in a panic.

Kara Danvers apartment was lit up in cool early morning light. Maggie and Alex were long gone. The windows were open, letting in a nice breeze, and birds chirped pleasantly outside. Shit. She’d fallen asleep during the movie. Why didn’t Kara wake her up? Kara. Lena looked around and saw Kara standing in the kitchen scooping an omelet onto a plate. She turned and smiled at Lena.

“Hey. Uh, omelet?” she held the plate out to Lena who was staring at her. Lena’s mouth was slightly open. Why was Kara being so normal about this? She’d awkwardly fallen asleep on the blonde’s couch at what, like 7:30 last night and slept like the dead for? Lena’s eyes flitted to the clock behind Kara, 5:23 am, almost 10 hours? Lena couldn’t remember the last time she’d managed that much sleep. She blinked, still staring at Kara. “You’re not allergic are you? I should have asked.” Lena shook her head, mouth still open slightly. Kara rambled. “Uh, I figured I would try and wake you up at least before six. It’s Saturday, but I know you’ve got a company to run, so I didn’t want you to miss anything work wise.” Lena scrubbed a hand over her eyes.  

“Did I sleep the whole night?”

“As far as I can tell. You kind of crashed out part way through the movie, and then we tried to wake you up after, but you were…really out. Figured you should just sleep. I know…I mean... When I’ve been through stuff, I know how hard it can be to get sleep sometimes. So I just figured...” Kara’s voice was gentle, understanding, and Lena wanted to ask her what she’d been through…but she there was still a blush to her cheeks, embarrassed at being such an imposition.

“…Thank you. I. I hadn’t been getting a lot of sleep lately.” She stood and Kara held out the plate to her. Lena took it and Kara sat with a plate of her own at the island bar. Lena joined her and Kara scooted a mug of coffee in her direction. Lena gratefully took the mug and had a sip. She tried not to think about what a mess she must look like. “Damn it.” She muttered, a thought suddenly striking her. Kara looked alarmed.

“What’s wrong, are you late? I can-“

“Oh, no, I don’t have anything until later today actually, I was just thinking that Maggie never going to let me live this down is she?” Kara let out a surprised snort.

“Ha. Probably not. No.”

“So what would you have done if I had woken up in the middle of the night?” It was a moot question at this point, but still Lena was curious.

“I texted you, wrote you a note that I left on your bag with the spare key, and left the lights on dim so you’d be able to see. And I kinda slept on the opposite couch so you wouldn’t feel bad if you needed to wake me up for anything. Alex thought it was overkill, but I didn’t want you to be worried if you suddenly woke up at 2 am.” Kara took a bite of her omelet. “I’m sorry…if I should have tried harder to get you up.” Lena shook her head.

“No honestly, it’s ok. I just feel bad because I’m sure it was an inconvenience.”

“Oh god no. Alex crashes here all the time, Winn has a couple of times. Even James. I think all of my friends have crashed on that couch at some point. It’s really comfortable.”

“Even Supergirl?” Lena teased.

“What? No, er, Uh. I mean. Uh. We know each other, but.”

“Kara I was joking. Though surprisingly, Supergirl DID crash on my couch two nights ago. Well I don’t know if crash is the right word. I crashed on my couch, she sat on the chair?” Lena shrugged and took a bite of omelet. Why was she telling Kara Danvers, her kind of friend, but also journalist that Supergirl had watched her sleep the night before?

“Oh…Oh yeah? Why…I mean…what…Uh.” Kara seemed flustered for some reason that Lena couldn’t even begin to fathom. Was she…jealous? No. That would be ridiculous. So …what?

“To be honest, completely off the record of course, I had a bit too much to drink, and she made sure the press didn’t find out and took me home. Nice of her really. She’s quite chivalrous.”

“Mm.” Kara swallowed and looked away and Lena noticed there was a blush to her cheeks. She squinted. Seriously. Why was Kara blushing? Did she have a crush on- “Do you mind if I turn on the news?” Kara said suddenly and it shook Lena out of her train of thought.

“Sure, don’t let me get in the way.” Lena had finished her omelet. She noticed her headache had finally gone away, probably thanks to enough sleep and finally having a few actual meals in her system. “Do you mind if I use-“

“Bathroom is the other side of the wall.” Kara smiled, ahead of Lena. “There’s actually an extra toothbrush and some travel accessories on a towel in there if you need them.” God damn it. Why was Kara Danvers so accommodating? It was practically impossible to hold onto any kind of negativity towards a person when they were this kind. Not that Lena was TRYING to harbor anything dark, but she was also used to keeping people, even friends, at arm’s length. Which was becoming more impossible by the second with Kara. Actually. Now that she thought about it. She’d spent the night at Kara’s, so the whole arm’s length thing was obliterated at this point.

While she was busy scrubbing her face a couple of minutes later, after generally freshening herself up and putting her hair back, she heard a knock at the front door and a distinct camera flash sound a second later as Kara opened it. Lena turned off the sink quickly, and pressed an ear up against the bathroom door so she could hear better who was here.

“Uh, can I help you with something?” Kara’s voice was guarded.

“We got a tip that Lena Luthor was dropped off here last night. She didn’t go back to her apartment, we had it staked out. So whadya say blondie. Little Ms. Luthor here? We’d really like to get a quote.”

“Ms. Luthor? You think Lena Luthor is in my apartment?”

“Well, you have interviewed her, so it’s not exactly a stretch.” Lena recognized the voice now. Brad Hunter. He’d worked for the Planet at one point, but there had been some sort of falling out, and now he ran a sleazy celebrity gossip blog. Lena’s chest tightened and her muscles tensed.

“I have interviewed her. But I can assure you, she’s not here.”

“So the driver that took her here last night is just lying?” Well, there went yet another good driver.

“She did stop by last night, but it was because I left my notes at her office for an upcoming piece.” Lena was surprised. For as bad as a liar as Kara was with her, she was smoothly deflecting Brad.

“So let me get this straight, the CEO of a multinational corporation just swung by to drop off your notes?”

“Well considering they contained classified information, integral to the article research, yes. She didn’t want it falling into the wrong hands.”

“Why would she give you classified information? A lowly, mousy cub reporter for Catco Magazine?” Lena could picture the sneer on Brad Hunter’s smug face.

“Well, maybe I am just a cub reporter, but I’m still an actual journalist, and not someone who stalks her around the city trying to violate her privacy.” Kara’s voice was all ice and steel.

“Hmmph. And the blanket on the couch? She didn’t crash here after that?”

“A girl can’t watch a romcom by herself on a Friday night anymore?” Lena smiled and took a step back. Kara had this covered. She bumped into the sink and a bottle of shampoo fell over. Shit. Shit. Shit. Lena froze and held her breath.

“What was that?”

“My cat likes to knock stuff over.” Kara sighed and continue smoothly. “I need to go make sure he hasn’t gotten into the mouthwash again. Are we done here Mr. Hunter? Or do you want to go through my apartment looking for any more people?” It was a dangerous gambit. The camera flashed again, and then Brad’s voice, huffing again, smug as ever.

“You would have a cat. Bet you moonlight as a librarian too, with that outfit. See you around Danvers.” Lena let out a breath as Kara shut the door and locked it. She reentered the main living space. Kara was walking towards the couch and Lena joined her.

“Thank you.” She said. “I uh, overheard.”

“Of course. What you thought I'd sell you out to likes of someone like Brad Hunter?” Kara made a face, and then realized what she’d said. “Not that I’m going to sell you out, I would never.”

“It’s ok Kara,” Lena laughed, “I know what you meant.” She followed Kara’s eyesight to the tv.

‘Lena Luthor still hasn’t given a statement. Is she hiding something?’ the ticker read. With the low volume, she could make out the reporters on air arguing about whether she was guilty.

“God they’re all vultures.” She muttered. Now it was her turn to backtrack. “No offense.” Kara shook her head.

“None taken.” Kara turned off the tv in disgust. “If it were me? I would probably be curled up in a ball somewhere. Asking you to immediately come out with some statement? It’s not fair. Whatever happened. It’s your family. And family is complicated.” Lena swallowed. Yes. Yes it was.

“Kara…I should probably get going and get out of your hair, I need to freshen up and review some notes…but…I was wondering if you could do me a favor? Which I know is asking a lot considering I just slept on your couch.”

“Anything.” Kara replied without hesitation and Lena felt her heart jump just a bit. Why was Kara so kind to her?

“I was wondering. If you could help me write a statement? We could do dinner somewhere, my treat? I do need to say something? I just. You have a way with words, and I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing. I need them to know I’m not like my family. And I understand if that’s not-“

“Of course I’ll help you Lena.” Lena’s heart swelled as Kara put a hand on her shoulder. Familiar. Kind. Comforting. Lena breathed out in relief.

“Thank you.”


	6. You're Ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so much shorter than the other chapters. My retail job kicked my ass tonight, annnnnd the story just needed a small re-center before I continue on with what I have generally mapped out in my head.

Lena sat back in the seat of the town car that had come to pick her up. She had had some strong, but polite, always polite, words for the company that she used, and they swore her new driver would not sell out anything about her, or any places she might go, under threat of lawsuit from the company itself. Kara had scoped out her exit first too, made sure Brad Hunter wasn’t waiting in the hall. And she'd given Lena a disguise: a pair of jeans, a loose NCU hoodie, a baseball cap with some sunglasses and an old backpack to hide her purse. Lena thought it was ridiculous at first, but she had to admit, when she looked in the mirror she could barely see Lena Luthor. She looked like a college student. It would at least be enough to sneak back into her building undetected. 

  
Secretly Lena wondered if Kara’s kindness was all just for show to get back in her good graces, or whether she really did care about Lena. She would like to think it was real care. She really would. But there were so many things… so many moments where she regretted trusting people. From friends to her own family.

  
That and her brain hadn’t really been functioning since everything had happened with her mother. Not like it should. Or rather, it had been operating from a place of pain, which was a dangerous place to be. And since that night on the balcony, she’d been grasping blindly at anything to keep her afloat.

Because the depth of her pain had terrified her. She hadn’t – she hadn’t realized. The bleary sounds of the city from that night washed over her and she felt cold.

  
Feeling that pain, even for those few moments… her brain had shut off logic, and if you turn off logic… what then? Lena breathed out. She needed to think. She needed to stop being a wreck and she needed to stop waking up not knowing where she was. This was all going to land her in trouble and she knew it.

  
But how to make it all go back to how it was? That was the million dollar question. Her fists tightened at a sudden image of her mother smiling at her. Lillian had looked at her after realizing she had switched the isotope…and she had looked… what? Proud? Like Lena was finally living up to the Luthor name by stabbing her in the-

  
No. No. She was not going down this road, she was supposed to be thinking clearly. She was supposed to not be letting her emotions get to her. This was quite literally the opposite of that.

  
She shook her head. No.

  
How to make it go back?

  
Well, first would be to stop blindly trusting anyone who offered her kindness.

  
She had already asked Kara for help, and she could tell her she didn’t need it. That’s what she should do. She had just been feeling vulnerable when she’d and-

  
And who was she kidding?

  
She needed to release a statement, and as much as she’d love to do it without help, clearly, if the last few minutes of thought were any indication, she needed someone to compile it and make it seem level headed. She was anything but level headed right now. Kara Danvers was though. Passionate yes. But good at writing, and Lena trusted her to make sense of her thoughts at the moment.

  
So dinner. She’d keep the dinner. She’d let Kara assist her this one last time, and so-help-her, she wasn’t going to have anything to drink, and she was going to end up at her own apartment and sleep in her own bed, and she was going to be fine to be alone because she was an adult god damn it, and she was fine. She was fine. And if the height called to her…she would deal with it. She would be fine. She didn’t... Her fists clenched again. She wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t.

She was fine. She was fine.

  
You’re ok. You’re ok. It’s ok. Its ok. You’re going to be ok. You’re ok. 

  
“What’s that Ms. Luthor?” her cheeks reddened as she realized she’d been mumbling to herself out loud, one arm gripped around her own waist tightly as if to soothe herself.

  
“Oh, I was just saying you’re ok to drop me off here. I’d like to walk the rest of the way.” Lena recovered smoothly, privately thanking every deity she could think of that they were only two buildings down from her apartment.

  
Yes, she definitely needed help with a statement.

Lest she give some rambling hysterical diatribe that ended in her complete and very public emotional breakdown entirely without meaning to.


	7. Warmth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry, it's another kinda short one. )

Lena anxiously checked her watch for the fifth time in three minutes. She’d arranged to meet with Kara at one of her favorite restaurants at 6pm. It was 5:54. The restaurant was quiet this time of night, and secluded thankfully. She only hoped that Brad Hunter or anyone else wouldn’t manage to find her. Normally paparazzi or reporters didn’t bother her. But until she got her thoughts in order, and put out a statement, gained back some control, she didn’t think she could handle them.

Absently she kneaded her hands in on themselves. She remembered when she was young, when she was first adopted by the Luthors, how terrifying it was to be thrust into the spotlight. And Lillian and Lionel, well, they hadn’t done much to shield her from it all. In fact, if anything, they were the ones always pushing her towards it…Her adoption had very much been a PR move. If she was being blunt. If she was being honest. If her mother hadn’t just been arrested…Lena wasn’t sure she would be able to admit that. Still. She let out a breath. How sad was that. It took her until she was 27 to admit that she wasn’t really wanted. That everything she had tried to pretend was a real family…wasn’t. They were trying to distract the public, and a little orphan with sad green eyes? What a distraction she had been. And when she had served her purpose, well they couldn’t get rid of her, could they? But that didn’t mean they loved her. Lillian definitely not. Lex…Lex…maybe he had at one point she supposed. But then again Lex was a sociopath, so maybe not. And Lionel-

“How was your meeting?” Kara’s chipper voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She smiled as she looked up. It was involuntary. Kara met it and let the hostess seat her across from Lena.

“Just another day of convincing old, rich, white men that I am actually competent enough to do my own job.” Lena said, and Kara let out a snort.

“Ms. Grant would like you.”

“Oh we’ve met. When I was younger. She didn’t really get on with my parents, but she was always really kind to me. I don’t know why.” Lena laughed. Kara’s expression warmed.

“She would kill me if I ever said this on record, but she’s a total softy deep down. She sees the good in people.” Lena swallowed. She still didn’t see the….she didn’t feel… “So…did you have any thoughts about what you want to say?” Kara continued, and Lena breathed out in silent relief at being rescued from that road in her mind.

“Yes. Kind of. I… Part of the meeting I had today, is part of what I want to tell the public.” Lena murmured. She kneaded her hands again, looking down at them.

“And what’s that?” Kara got out a notebook and a pen and Lena couldn’t help but remember the last time Kara had interviewed her. About Lillian. She pushed the thought aside. No. Kara is your friend.

“I…I’m killing the alien detection device.” Kara looked at her, forehead crinkled. “What, do you think it’s a bad move? I thought you were against it?” Lena said, trying to lighten the mood, which for some reason had turned heavy fast.

“No. I’m just surprised. Why the change of heart?” Kara said, scribbling a few things on the page.

“I was never against aliens. My family…might have a sordid history with them…but I personally. Well, I don’t have any quarrel with them…and I don’t feel they pose a threat. Not as a whole. The universe is wide…and vast…and I…” Lena looked away past Kara. “I don’t think that’s something to fear. When I designed the device…I was thinking of the profits. I hadn’t stopped to consider how it might be used to generate fear, or to exclude beings. In my mind, I was merely doing a service to those who were curious. And even when you mentioned those potential problems…I was desperate to have L-Corp be some kind of success, and I tried to tell myself I wasn’t culpable if anyone got hurt. And it was wrong.” Lena chewed on the inside of her cheek. Kara was quiet. “After everything that has happened with my family…being associated with a name that strikes fear into others…Having people try to drag me down based on something I can’t control…could I really cause that kind of pain in others? If I’m asking people to give me a fresh start…” Lena trailed off. “I told the board we were dropping it.”

“What’d they say?” Lena laughed, letting out some of the tension she was holding.

“Well, they weren’t pleased, but considering I hold the personal copyright to the device, and I have a weighted vote in the matter, there’s not much they could do.” She paused. “L-Corp will make it’s name doing good if I have anything to say about it. I want to protect people…and any beings who call earth their home. I don’t want to be the cause of fear or hate.” Lena chanced looking at Kara. There was a soft sort of smile on her lips, and a kind of glow surrounding her. Her gaze seemed to connect right to Lena’s thoughts.

“Lena…I…” She leaned closer and there was some kind of something behind her eyes. Some kind of enigma about to be unfolded. It was such a strange feeling. Lena felt the pull of Kara’s expression tug her a little closer-

“Goooood evening ladies, welcome welcome. My name is Charles and I will be your server for the evening. Have you had a chance to look through our selection of beverages? Or are there any questions I might assist you with at this time?” Kara and Lena both sat up straight, the spell of the moment broken. But when Lena glanced at Kara a moment later, Kara returned it, a ghost of that smile still lingering on her face.

The rest of the dinner was pleasant, but nothing ever returned them to that moment. They spent the rest of the time writing and polishing Lena’s statement. And eating of course. Lena’s appetite had finally returned in earnest, though she couldn’t quite compete with Kara. And to be fair, Lena had said that the dinner would be expensed by L-Corp, (after all, coming up with a statement for the CEO was kind of important), and so she’d told Kara to order whatever she liked. Which happened to be several dishes. It was endearing really.  

Before dessert, they posted the statement in full online, with a link through Lena’s twitter page. And then Kara had made her set her phone down while they ordered cake. And they had laughed at some cat video that Kara had pulled up on her own phone. Lena couldn’t help but laugh until she teared up. Here they were sitting in a Michelin star rated restaurant, watching cat videos. Here she was. A Luthor. Sitting in a Michelin star rated restaurant, with someone who genuinely…seemed to like her? Care about her?

…was her friend. Watching cat videos.

It was the lightest Lena had felt in a long time. So light in fact that she didn’t even think to check on the impact her statement had made until she was in the car on the way back to the office. She had had a few documents to file and sign regarding the detection device’s scrapping. The news was reporting that it was a heartfelt reply. That it was thoughtful, and genuine. There were some naysayers, there were bound to be. But overall, it was positive.

But honestly Lena didn’t even care. All she could think of was how content she felt. How warm she felt. She couldn’t help the smile that found it’s way to her lips as she stepped into her office. She was happy. Her fingers hovered over her phone, wanting to type something to Kara.

“Lena, it really has been too long.” Lena’s head snapped up and her blood ran cold in her veins. A man stood behind her desk, a glass of scotch in his hand. “What, no hug for your father?”

Lionel.


	8. Protect and Serve

Maggie sighed as she leaned against the back wall of the elevator. It was Saturday night. And what was she doing? Was she enjoying her time with her new girlfriend? No. They were both working. Maggie had some paperwork she needed to finish, and Alex had also had some paperwork at the DEO. Granted Alex’s paperwork sounded far more labor intensive than Maggie’s. But they’d agreed that instead of trying to make plans for the night, or distract each other, they’d call it a wash and they’d do brunch in the morning.

Maggie snorted at the thought. Brunch. Sure. No doubt they’d grab coffee and one of them would catch some kind of case to keep them occupied for the rest of the day together. They’d fallen into a comfortable routine that way. Kick some ass, protect some civillians and aliens. That was them.

Brunch. That was a good one. Maggie was 95% sure Alex had been joking when she suggested it. Probably. Maybe? For as good as a detective as she was, Maggie found Alex hard to read at certain times. The brunch thing. That was probably a joke…? Maggie shook her head. If it wasn’t she supposed brunch wouldn’t be too bad though. She’d never really had it, it was just kind of one of those domestic bliss pipe-dreams she’d heard about. Go to a nice restaurant, have a mimosa. Do brunch. Not necessarily her style…but she could do that with Alex. It might be kinda-

The doors opened and she found herself at the top floor of L-Corp. She needed to go over a few notes on Lena’s statement from last week and get her signature. She hoped the CEO would be there, because this was the last thing on her list, and she would really rather not have to do it tomorrow, or Monday for that matter.

“Hey.” She approached a slightly uptight looking woman sitting at a desk on the otherwise empty floor.

“Can I help you?” The woman’s tone was sharp and condescending. Maggie’s eyebrow’s raised, but she kept her face placid. She took out her badge and showed it to the secretary. Jess. She noted from the nameplate.

“Well Jess, nice to meet you, I’m Detective Maggie Sawyer with the NCPD Science Division.” Jess’ eyes narrowed when Maggie matched her level of condescending. “Is Lena in? I just need to borrow her for a few minutes.” Jess straightened a couple of files against the desk. They made a sharp clacking noise on the glass top. Jess turned them the other way and repeated the same process. Maggie did not have the patience for this.

“Ms. LUTHOR is in, yes but-“

“Great, I’ll see myself in.” Maggie interrupted as she slipped by Jess. At this point she just assumed Jess was trying to aggravate Maggie because she’d rubbed her the wrong way. Either that or she just had a power complex.

“Wait! She’s in a meeting you can’t just--!” Jess tried to stop her, but the detective was already through the double doors.

“Hey Sleeping Beauty long time no-“ She stopped when she realized that Lena was standing by the doors, and there was another person in the room, over at the bar. “Oh God, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize there was someone here.” She glanced back at Jess and made a slightly apologetic face. ‘Sorry’ she mouthed to the secretary. Jess just rolled her eyes.

“I tried to tell her Ms. Luthor.”

“She did, I swear-“

“It’s fine Jess… He was just leaving anyways.” Maggie was kind of surprised at the way Lena’s voice sounded. There was a tremor in it. She looked Lena over. The CEO looked paler than usual (no small feat) and her arms were crossed tightly in front of her, like armor. The man turned around. Maggie stiffened. Lionel Luthor. She saw the muscles in his jaw tic.

“Yes well, it is late, and I have to be going. But we will talk more tomorrow Lena.” His eyes flicked over Maggie as he put down his glass and she gritted her teeth. He looked irritated that he was being dismissed, and that’s what it was. As shaky as Lena had said it, in front of company he had to go to save face. He had clearly not planned on leaving any time soon. Lionel walked towards the door, towards them both. Maggie’s eyes narrowed, and she took a step forward, almost unconsciously, placing herself in front of Lena so she was facing the other woman.

“I appreciate it. Just had a few follow up questions from the attack last week.” Maggie said, trying to ignore Lionel passing behind her. She watched Lena’s eyes follow him though. Maggie could read fear behind a mask-like look that the Luthor heiress was wearing. She could see Lena’s pulse pounding in the vein in her neck, and the way her fists were clenched under crossed arms. When the door finally closed she saw Lena let out an audible breath.

“I’m sorry…Detective Sawyer, it’s…it’s been a long day. Why are you here?”

“Just came to get a few signatures.” Maggie shrugged. “But by the looks of things, you really have had a day.” Lena didn’t say anything. She was still staring at the door. She swallowed.

“What was that?” she finally said, realizing Maggie had gone quiet.

“Ok wow. Listen, grab your coat, because we are going to get you a drink, and I can do this paperwork some other time.” Lena finally tore her gaze away from the door to look at Maggie, her words finally registering.

“I don’t think Kara’s sister would-“

“Oh god no Sleeping Beauty. Remember, I’ve seen you drool, so trust me when I say that this is not that kind of drink.” Maggie teased. “I just think it is my duty as your friend’s sister’s girlfriend to get you a drink stat because you clearly need one.” Lena blinked at her. “I mean…can’t have been easy to put your neck out like that with that statement you released condemning Cadmus and everything. And I know Kara, as sweet as she is, is not really the drinking type.” Maggie said, covering. Clearly Lena didn’t want to discuss the obvious tension with Lionel. And Maggie wasn’t going to press her on it. Not having only met her once. Lena’s arms were still crossed in front of her, and Maggie could see her fists clench and unclench nervously.

Maggie went to the coatrack, and waiting for Lena’s eyes to track her, she motioned to the coat hanging there. “Come on, I know a place. Well, scratch that. We’re gonna have to go somewhere else. But I know another place.” She motioned to the coat again. “Come on, what had other plans tonight? Falling asleep on another friend’s couch to another holiday themed romantic comedy? Let me buy you a drink before you die of stress overload.” Maggie kept her eyes light. Teasing. She saw Lena glance over the bar, at Lionel’s discarded glass of scotch, and then over to the balcony doors. There was a weight to her stare and it wasn’t lost on Maggie. The paler woman nodded.

“A drink sounds good.” Her voice cracked slightly.

“Good. There ya go. Coat. Good. I am buying you something strong because damn, seriously, you need to let loose Luthor.” Maggie saw Lena flinch at the use of her last name. She bit the inside of her cheek. Should have stuck with Sleeping Beauty. Or Pizza Girl. The detective logged the look away, making a mental note not to use it unless absolutely necessary. Because it clearly bothered Lena. A lot. And Maggie couldn’t blame her for that. The CEO stopped at her secretary’s desk.

“Jess, I’m done for the evening, so please go home, I know your fiancé misses you.” Lena’s smile was kind, and Maggie tilted her head, watching the interaction. Lena’s voice wavered a bit. “If…If my father comes in tomorrow, please tell him he may wait for me, but I am in meetings until 4, and have a charity event in the evening and have to leave by 5.” Maggie knew that tactic. It was smart really. Only leave a limited amount of time with a clear start and finish time when you had to meet with someone you really didn’t want to be around. Maggie did that with certain informants she wasn’t fond of.

“Yes Ms. Luthor.” Jess dutifully scribbled the note down and then started clacking at her keyboard.

“And don’t forget Jess, please go home after you're finished putting that in the system. Tony does deserve to see you at some point this weekend.” Lena put on her coat and headed for the elevators, Maggie by her side.

“Bye Jess, nice meeting you!” The detective smiled, a grin that would give candy a cavity, over her shoulder at the secretary. Jess glared daggers at her in return, and Maggie couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped.

“What was that?”

“Oh your secretary, she’s kind of fun to mess with.” Maggie said, her eyes mischievous.

“I get the feeling you enjoy ‘messing’ with people Detective Sawyer.” Lena’s voice was lighter than when Maggie had first seen her this evening.

“That’s probably a fair statement. But in my defense…” Maggie paused and put her hands in her pockets. “Ok, there might not be a defense.” Lena let out a small laugh. There was silence a moment. “So let me ask you something," she turned to Lena, a serious look on her face.

"Mm?"

"When Maleficent showed up at your first birthday party-“ Lena groaned and rolled her eyes.

 

____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

To be honest, Maggie was kind of impressed with Lena’s ability to hold her alcohol. Though she probably shouldn’t have been. Of all the socialites out there, Lena was the one that had never ended up in the gossip columns, well for being a drinker anyways. But she kept pace with Maggie. And not a lot of people could. But a couple of drinks in, Maggie started to notice, in her warm, drink-induced state, that Lena had started to get a bit dark. At first the alcohol had just loosened her up, she was quicker to laugh at Maggie’s jokes, quicker to make jokes of her own. But at some point, there was a shift, and Maggie saw Lena’s face start to get serious again. When she asked for the tab she realized she had probably gone a few drinks too far with the woman. She had just intended to take Lena’s mind off of everything, but clearly, Lena was not the happy drunk that she was. So she paid for their drinks and then turned to Lena.

“Listen, Sleeping Beauty, I’m going to go to the bathroom, and then we’re going to get you a car, and make sure you get home alright, ok?” Her words were slurring slightly, but she was lucid enough to keep any eye on Lena’s response. The woman nodded.

“Yeah…yes. I should.” Lena looked off out into the bar. “I should go home.” She said decisively. Maggie nodded.

“Ok, be right back. Just stay put, I’ll get you home then.” Lena nodded back, and Maggie went to relieve herself. Too much. One too many. She washed her hands in the dingy bar bathroom and shook her head. Protect and serve. Off duty. But. Protect and serve. She walked out into the crowded bar. Get Lena home and then-

But Lena was gone.


	9. Gone

Alex tapped her foot impatiently reviewing the document in front of her. She was bored out of her mind. She wished she would have done something with Maggie.

“Was that the only one out there?” Her sister’s voice crackled over the radio. She had been hunting down a rogue Draal with a small team of DEO agents while Alex caught up on her paperwork.

“As far as the report said. If you don’t see any more you can all head back in.” Alex said as her phone buzzed on the desk. She couldn’t help the smile that met her lips when she saw it was Maggie.

“Is that Maggie?”

“Stalker. I’ll see you in a few Supergirl.” Alex turned down the sound on the radio, drowning out Kara’s “Awwwww”.

“Hey Maggie, did you finish your paperwork because-“

“Babe? I uh…I think I may have fucked up. Is Supergirl in tonight?” Alex immediately stood, muscles tensed. Maggie sounded …Something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure, but I’ve got a bad feeling…and I…”

“Maggie, are you drunk?” Alex could pick up the slur in Maggie’s speech.

“Kind of.”

“What happened?”

“I need Supergirl to scan the area around the Newport Bar on 5th? For Lena Luthor.” Alex grabbed her gear, and an earpiece. “I took her to get a drink, and I went to use the bathroom and when I got out, she was gone. Alex…I’m worried about her. She didn’t look good when-“

“Why were you at a bar with Le- You know what never mind. How long has she been gone?”

“About thirty minutes now. I was canvasing the bar to make sure no one had seen her, and then I called her secretary to see if she'd heard from her, and her secretary called her car service.”

“Don’t move, 5th is a couple of blocks away, I will tell Supergirl to look, and we will meet you there soon.” She hung up, maybe a little abruptly, confused and a little angry as to why her girlfriend was taking someone like Lena out for a drink, and then switched on her earpiece. “Supergirl? If your mission is finished, I need you to head back into the city and scan the blocks around the Newport Bar on 5th. Now.” Kara’s voice met hers, serious.

“What’s wrong?”

“Detective Sawyer says Lena Luthor might be missing, I’ll fill you in once you get there.” There was silence for a moment.

“I’m coming.” Alex ran to the garage, and hopped on her bike. She was at the Newport Bar within moments. Maggie was standing outside, she looked tense.

“I’ve been through the whole bar, no one remembers seeing her leave. It was pretty crowded I-“ There was crack as Supergirl landed heavily next to them.

“I don’t see her anywhere.” Her face held concern and Alex could see a barely contained nervousness to her sister’s fists and feet. “What happened?” Her stare was wide and dangerous as she turned to Maggie. Maggie swallowed. Alex was scanning the area, but listening intently.

“I went to her office to get her to sign some paperwork. Lionel Luthor was there.”

“Lionel? What did he want?” Supergirl’s voice was practically a growl.

“I’m not sure, she didn’t say. But she looked rough. And I knew she had had a bad week, so I offered to take her out for a drink.” Alex’s brow furrowed. What did that even mean? “We had a couple, maybe one too many, but she was starting to look pretty…heavy. Emotionally speaking. So I was going to get her home, and I went to the bathroom, and when I got back she was gone. I asked everyone in the bar, the barkeep, no one admits to seeing her. And normally I’d say she probably just called a car…but she was looking dark, and Jess-her secretary- said the car service hasn't heard from her…I’m worried-“

“Why did you let her drink?” Supergirl looked angry and worried all at once. “Why did you leave her alone? She almost committed suicide 2 nights ago because she was drunk and upset and alone. That’s WHY I invited her to the movie last night. To keep an eye on her. To keep her from drinking...or at least to make sure if she did that she wouldn’t be alone.” Kara’s voice was edging on frantic, and Alex knew she hadn’t even realized what she’d just revealed to Maggie. Kara spoke again, before Maggie or Alex could. “I …I think I might know where she might be.” She hurtled into the sky and there was a faint pop of a sonic boom. Maggie swayed slightly.

“Does she-?”

“No. It probably won’t catch up to her for a while. Any questions?” Maggie shook her head.

“I mean, I had kind of guessed. Detective remember?” It was quiet a minute. “If I had known about Lena, I would not have taken her to get a drink. I swear.” Maggie said as Alex got out her tablet and started pulling up traffic cameras.

“Why did you take her out at all?” Alex said suddenly. “I mean, I am not one of those jealous relationship people…But are you…not happy, or is it something I did?” There were tears in her eyes now, but damn it all if she was going to cry in front of Maggie. Maggie’s face broke into an apologetic tone immediately though. She pulled Alex close, or tried to. Alex shimmied away and looked down at her screen.

“No, no no. Babe, it’s not like that. I promise. I will openly admit that gay teen me, yes, of course I had a crush on Lena Luthor, I’m pretty sure every gay girl my age did but-“

“…Really?”

“She never dated anybody.” Maggie explained. “The tabloids were always speculating because she just…didn’t date…and so all the gay girls, we just kind of…had this idea that she might secretly be gay.” Alex looked genuinely surprised by this information.

“Is she?” Maggie shrugged.

“I literally have no idea. The point is. I crushed on her hard as a teen, but when I was a rookie at the GCPD…like I mentioned…I had a couple of run-ins with Lionel Luthor at the Mayor’s office in Gotham.”

“What do you mean, run-ins.”

“Nothing ever happened…but the guy, he gave me the creeps. All of my instincts told me to never be alone with him. And I made sure I wasn’t. And I made sure no one else was either. I was stationed there, I would overhear all sorts of conversations he would have.” Maggie squinted and looked past Alex. “You know how Donald Trump talks about Ivanka?” Alex nodded, not liking where this was going. “Imagine something twenty times more dangerous. And then add in intelligence too.” Alex swallowed. “After that I kind of felt bad for ever…crushing on her…or assuming anything about her life… because dealing with someone like that for a father? I couldn’t even imagine. It would make sense for her to never want to date anyone…regardless of who she might be attracted to. And then Lex…And then when I heard about her mom this week? God. I just…I felt so bad for her. And then just as she gets some traction, she released the statement…Lionel shows up again? I was just trying…I don’t know. From everything I’ve heard, she doesn’t have a lot of friends. I was trying to be someone she could rely on…or trust. Kara’s great and I’m happy she has your sister, but someone so alone…could always use more friends. It was not romantic at all. Promise babe. I am…so happy with you. So much happier than I’ve ever been…and I don’t want you to think for a second that I was trying something with her.” Alex looked her over. Maggie was still swaying slightly, but Alex could see the look of pity in her eyes from talking about Lena.  She let Maggie wind her fingers through hers, and hold her hand. Maggie kissed her cheek and she pulled Maggie close and kissed her softly in return. They leaned back after a moment.

“It was kind of you.” Alex could see that Maggie was still upset.

“Maybe not. I fucked up…if anything happens to her…”

“You didn’t know. How could you have known.” Now it was Alex’s turn to worry, “If we had let you in on everything maybe-“ Maggie stopped her.

“Nope, if you’re not letting me go down my road of self-blame, then we can’t go down yours either. I get why you wouldn’t tell me about Kara, and even if you had, she might not have shared that Lena wasn’t doing well with me… All we can do is try and find her now. And hope she’s ok... Does she know? About Kara?”

“God no. You really think I’m going to let my sister tell Lena Luthor who she is? Which I know sounds horrible of me, but...I have not spent enough time with Lena to know whether I can trust her or not.”

“I just wondered because it seemed like Kara was maybe-“ Alex tore her gaze away from the screen. Winn was chattering in her ear. She’d called him on the way, asked him to provide Ops support.

“Like maybe Kara what?” Maggie squinted again.

“You know what, never mind. Not important right now.” A crack as Kara again landed at their feet.

“There’s no sign of her. I thought she might be at her office, or her apartment…but she wasn’t there.” Kara’s face was distraught.

“Guys? Are you even listening?” Winn’s voice suddenly blared over Alex’s handheld walkie. “Alex look at your phone, I’m streaming something to you and you need to see it now.” Alex held up her phone quickly as it turned on.  

‘Hunter’s Catch Celebrity News ALERT’ a tacky and dramatic opening played and then Brad Hunter appeared on screen. “This just in Hunter’s Catch has obtained exclusive footage that seems to show Lena Luthor being abducted. Police don’t have any leads, but we’ll keep you updated as we know more.” A cell-phone video played that showed Lena at the bar, suddenly in the ruckus of the Saturday night crowd, there was a man by her side with a gun. He ushered her out of the bar without anyone paying attention.

“I saw that guy,” Maggie said, pointing to Brad after he finished speaking, “I asked him, he told me he hadn’t seen Lena at all.” Maggie said in disbelief.

“Winn, where is he?” Kara’s voice was dangerous. Winn gave an address almost immediately and Alex was one step too slow to stop her sister.

“Kara wait!” she tried desperately, but Kara was gone, rocketing into the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this story has kind of ramped up from it's super slow beginnings. It just kind of happened. ::shrug:: What are you gonna do?


	10. Please Stay

“Kara!” Her sister’s voice rang in her ear. “SUPERGIRL.” She pulled out the earbud and crushed it.

She was through the window without thinking. Glass shattered. And Brad was up against the wall. She didn’t touch him. Didn’t have to. The sight of a barely contained Supergirl had flattened him there.

“You’re trespassing!” His voice was a whimper and Kara’s eyes were glowing dangerously as she stalked towards him.

“You lied to an officer. WHERE IS LENA LUTHOR?”

“I don’t care if you’re a superhero, you need a warrant to-“

“WHERE IS SHE?” Kara was inches from him now.

“I’m going to be reporting on this gross invasion of my ri-“ Kara punched through the wall to the right of his head.

“WHERE. IS. SHE?” Her voice was a roar.

“Supergirl!” J’onn’s voice fell over her like a pitcher of cold water. “That’s enough.” She whirled to face him, fists shaking. “Go back to base. We have agents coming to handle this.”

“He LIED to Maggie.” Kara pointed accusingly at Brad and he whimpered again. “HE KNOWS WHERE SHE IS.”

“GO. Now.” J’onn’s voice was stern. Kara let out a frustrated angry growl, punched the wall to the other side of Brad for good measure, and then left the same way she came, rustling papers in her wake.

She flew straight up. She needed to find Lena. She needed to make sure Lena was ok. She closed her eyes, trying to will the anger flowing through her to settle. Just enough so she could listen. She needed to listen. She needed to…

“Kara? Kara.” Her heart leapt for a millisecond before she realized it was Alex’s voice. She shook her head. No. Lena. Come on Lena. Say something. I’m listening. I- “Kara, come on. I know your earbud is offline. You need to come back to Newport, so we can formulate a plan. So we can help you.” Alex’s voice was calm, but Kara’s fists were still clenched too tightly.

She strained her eyes, hoping she could see Lena somehow. Find her in a city full of people, all rushing moving, talking, laughing, crying. But she couldn’t focus. Couldn’t hear Lena’s voice among all the cacophony ringing in her ears. She focused in on Brad Hunter’s apartment. A team of agents had arrived, and J’onn was serving Brad with a warrant, who was still babbling on about how his rights had just been violated. She resisted the urge to fly back there. To give him a heat vision haircut. Make him tell what he knew. She knew she’d been rash. She knew she should have followed procedure. But she needed to find Lena.

She pulled her arms around herself, remembering a few nights ago. She’d taken Lena home. Lena had been gripped onto her cape, so she was just going to leave it, and go patrol the city. She’d turned on the TV, but then Lena had looked at her, she was so drunk…eyes glassy, but so unguarded, and she’d spoken.

“Stay…please…please don’t leave me alone. I’m afraid.” And Kara remembered being alone. And being afraid. When she’d first come here. She remembered that night. And she understood.

“Please stay with me? Please? I feel safe when you’re here.” Of course she’d stay. How could she not? Lena needed. And Kara understood. She wanted to be there. Lena had slept restlessly, nightmare plagued, and Kara understood that too. She had set a gentle hand on Lena’s shoulder, and she had calmed. And then the next day, she’d kept an eye out, knowing how hard it would be to ask for help after being so…vulnerable…so she just…gave Lena options. And Lena had gripped onto them like a rope in a stormy sea. And Kara understood that too. Feeling so lost, so broken, so beaten down by everything, but still having a will to…survive…to keep struggling against it all. To keep yourself going just one more hour, one more day, if people would show you the smallest kindness. Lena had a powerful hope inside her. Despite what anyone else might think of her. Kara could see it. It was magnetic. It was intoxicating. It was a deep breath. And she…she understood.

And now she was missing…and Kara needed to find her. She needed Lena to feel safe. She needed to have that other person that she understood so well to be breathing and alive. She needed Lena to have hope.

“Alex?” Her voice was thick with a sob, and she realized after she’d spoken that she’d destroyed her earbud. Alex couldn't hear her. She needed her sister to help her. Because she couldn’t…she couldn’t see Lena and couldn’t hear her…and she didn’t know why this need was so strong…but she needed Lena to be ok. Because she understood her. Kara released her fists, and made her way back to the Newport Bar. Police cars were outside, lights flashing, and Maggie and Alex had begun to cordon it off. Officers were re-interviewing the bar-goers.

“Supergirl.” Alex’s voice was soft as Kara landed lightly by them.

“Alex I can’t…I can’t hear her.” Tears threatened, and Alex put a hand on her shoulder. Steady. Reassuring.

“It’s ok. They’re interrogating Brad now. Winn is going through all his correspondences. We’re going to find out who took her ok? She’s going to be ok.”

“And I have all of my contacts on the lookout.” Maggie’s voice reminded her of Alex’s. “Don’t worry Ka- Supergirl. She’s smart.” Kara nodded absently and let out a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry I yelled. You didn’t know about everything with Lena. I just…” She stared off into the distance. Still scanning. Still listening. Still not seeing or hearing her.

“Hey don’t worry about it.” Maggie said, as Alex squeezed Kara’s shoulder and then handed her a new earbud.

“Winn? Have you found anything?”

“Nothing yet. But way to go on making Brad Hunter practically wet himself.”

“What did you do to him?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t touch him I swear.” Kara grumbled.

“Bastard deserved to pee his pants.” Maggie growled and Kara privately agreed. Who let someone be kidnapped, lied to the police, and then used a video of it for gain? Alex shrugged, clearly agreeing too.

“Wait a second, I’m seeing an email correspondence here. It says that Lena is at the Newport Bar, and it says that if Brad is patient, and lets things play out, an even bigger story is waiting for him.” Kara felt nauseous.

“Winn, can you trace it?”

“No, it’s from a dummy IP, reroutes me, then ends up looping infinitely. High level stuff. Whoever sent it knew what they were doing.” Kara could feel the anger rising again. Maggie put a hand on her shoulder because Alex was tapping at her tablet.

“Where are we with the traffic cams?” Alex asked.

“The car literally disappears in the Schuster Tunnel. It goes in, and never comes out. Sewers?” Winn responded and Maggie shook her head.

“It’d be way too suspicious to try and get someone to the sewers through the tunnel. But maybe they switched cars? Fake car trouble, shuffle her into a new car? Winn did traffic increase after they entered?”

“Cameras do show a slight slowing for the cars going in. Sounds like a solid theory.”

“I’m going to go check the tunnel.”

“Supergirl.” Alex’s voice stopped her. “You going to be ok?” Kara swallowed and she managed a nod. She sped off to the tunnel. Just as Maggie had said, the SUV was pulled over to one side. Abandoned.

“You’ve run the plates Winn?” Kara was observing the outside of the car.

“Fakes.”  Rao. Why couldn’t they catch a break? She x-rayed the car. Nothing. Nothing. Why was it all nothing? She headed back and landed once again with Maggie and Alex. There was a sob rising in her chest again. She shook her head. Nothing.

“The guy said a bigger story was coming. I doubt he’d tell Brad that and not contact him again.” Maggie said.

“But what if the story…” Kara didn’t finish the thought. “…I just feel so useless. I can’t…I can’t-“

“Guys we’ve got an email. There’s a video.” Winn’s voice broke into hers. Alex pulled up her phone again and pressed play on the video.  Kara’s heart stopped.

Lena was tied to a chair in the center of what looked like a warehouse of some kind. Her head was drooped. A man stepped into frame. Kara recoiled when she realized he was wearing a Supergirl shirt. He hid his face in a mask, and his voice was altered.

“Supergirl. National City. This message, and what I have done, is for you.” The man lifted Lena’s chin roughly. A cut on her forehead had blood running down over face. Her eyes looked deadly into th camera. “This woman is a time-bomb. And so I’m leaving her here for you Supergirl. As a gift. She cannot be trusted. I have removed her from the city, so she can’t hurt anyone, and now I’m leaving her for you to take care of.” Kara’s heart leapt. He hadn’t killed her. Yet. She might still be ok. “Throw her in prison. Kill her. Just make sure she cannot walk free. First Lex, then Lillian. How many Luthors have to go bad before our Saviors are killed by them? I do this for you Supergirl. Protect yourself now. No one had taken this scourge off the streets. But now she’s been neutralized. She’s waiting for you, to deal with as you may.” The man put his hand over the Supergirl symbol on his chest. “You, are my hero Supergirl. Now I’m protecting you.” The video cut off, and Kara definitely felt sick. Someone was doing this to Lena…because they believed in Supergirl. 

“Winn?” Her voice was strangled. “Winn... please tell me you can track it?”

“It just went live on Brad Hunter’s page. I think the guy hacked it. The hits are blowing up. Same dummy IP…I can’t…” Kara paced and resisted the urge to punch the wall. She strained her ears and eyes again. Listening. Looking.

“Looks like it was a warehouse, definitely for manufacturing. I could make out the machines in the background. And he said outside the city right? That will at least give us a radius to start searching outside of.” Maggie said.

“Kara, you said you can’t see her right? Or hear her? Winn, it’s got to be a warehouse with lead paint or lead structures. It must be blocking you.” Alex said, trying to keep Kara calm.

“There’s a ton of ancient abandoned warehouses over outside of the east side of the city. They’re condemned because they all used lead piping and paint.” Maggie chipped in.

“It looks like Maggie is right, There’s a cluster of them that were used for manufacturing plants in particular.” Winn said. Alex gripped onto Kara’s arm this time.

“You have to wait. We have to take a team.”

“Alex she’s hurt.” Kara’s voice cracked.

“And it won’t do any good if you walk into a trap of some kind and get hurt too.” Alex pleaded. “J’onn organize a strike team and meet us at the address Winn is sending. We think we know where she might be.” She said over the radio and turned to Kara again. There were tears welling in Kara’s eyes. “We need to be smart and be safe. We’re going to get her. You can go ahead. See if you can get a better angle or hear somehow. But you have to promise me you will wait for the team to enter those warehouses. Promise me.” Kara nodded. “Say it.” Alex was gravely serious. “Picking a warehouse with lead might be a coincidence, but it might not. You can’t help Lena if you’re dead.” Kara nodded again.

“I’ll wait. I…”

“Kara.” Alex’s voice softened.

“I promise.” And Alex was satisfied.

“Go. We’ll be there as soon as we can.” And Kara was gone. “Maggie, I don’t want you in the field, not with alcohol still in your system.” Maggie nodded in agreement. She had sobered up considerably, but she knew better than to argue with Alex about something like this.

“I swear to God Danvers you and your sister had better be careful, and you better bring that girl back safe.” She pulled Alex into a kiss and Alex gripped her tightly. “Now get going, before Kara does something stupid.” And Alex was on her bike, zipping through traffic.

The eleven minutes that it took the team to assemble was torture for Kara. She had been around the cluster of warehouses so many times she lost track. But she couldn’t see in, and she couldn’t hear. There was no sign of anyone outside of them. No cameras Winn could check.

But finally, the team was there. An agent scanned for heat signatures. And there was only one. Kara could barely breathe. Another scanned the air for traces of kryptonite. Nothing. And so Alex gave the go ahead for Kara and J’onn to enter, flanked by her and several agents.

Lena was alone in the center of the room. Hunched over.

But Kara could hear a heartbeat from her body.

“Lena.” Kara breathed out and she started for the woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Comments make me super happy, though I'm sorry if I don't respond, I don't get a ton of free time! But I read them all and appreciate them so much!)


	11. Five Seconds

Five seconds. Five seconds until the world shattered around Kara.

_Five one thousand._

Kara stepped forward and Lena raised her head slightly.

_Four one thousand._

Kara could see a hint of relief crack in Lena’s face, near her eyes, and a hint of a sob rise in the brunette’s chest.

_Three one thousand._

Kara broke the heavy ropes keeping Lena to the chair, and her chest felt tight as she took in the injuries that she could see. Crushed left arm and hand. Face bruised with a gash over her eyebrow. Ugly bruises around her neck.

_Two one thousand._

Lena lurched forward, letting out a sudden sharp cry of pain, and Kara moved to keep her from falling, putting a hand gently on Lena’s shoulder. “Lena. I’ve got you.”

_One one thousand._

…

“Stay away from me.”

…

The words were quiet, and muffled. Spoken through a swollen jaw. They were devoid of emotion.

Kara’s hand recoiled from Lena as though she’d been burned. Worried she’d somehow hurt her further. Trying to comprehend the meaning behind what Lena had just said. She took a step back. Lena’s eyes wouldn’t meet hers.

“What?”

“Stay away from me Supergirl.” Lena asked again. Still quiet. Her face, which Kara could read relief on just seconds before, suddenly had gone blank. Numb. “One of your followers almost just killed me... because I’m a Luthor. And you’re… Please. Just…Get away from me. I might…accept aliens…but I think we both know…You’re just too dangerous for me to be around.” Kara couldn’t…It would almost make more sense if Lena were hysterically yelling at her to get away. That she would understand. But this? This…was a controlled and rational voice Lena was speaking in. This …was Lena accepting everything everyone had said about her. This …was Lena giving up on everything Kara knew she was striving towards. All of the hope had drained out of her.

And Kara had broken a bit inside.

Despite her words and demeanor Lena’s breathing was labored from pain, and Kara just wanted to help her. Her hands clenched and unclenched as she stood frozen a few feet away.

“Please.” Lena said again. She still hadn’t moved from the chair. She was shaking. Staring at the floor. “Just get away from me.” The words hit Kara like a punch to the gut. The agents had been silent around them. Kara felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Supergirl.” Alex’s voice was soft. “Go. We’ll take care of her.”

Kara stumbled backwards and started walking away. She cast a glance back and saw Vasquez kneeling by Lena. Asking her questions. Kara left the door to the warehouse open, but stepped just outside and around the corner.

“Ms. Luthor, can you tell us what happened?” Susan’s voice was gentle.

“Uh…I was at the Newport Bar, with Detective Maggie Sawyer. We were having a few drinks. Then she had to use the facilities. Then a man showed up with a gun. Said if I didn’t go with him, he would shoot into the crowd. Put me in an SUV. There was another man driving. We went west, towards Schuster tunnel. They made us switch cars part way through the tunnel, a whole different set of men, headed back east. Then they tied me up here. One man was left. He wore a mask. He…hit me…several times in the face, and …broke my arm…I think a couple of ribs… with the tire iron…” Kara’s stomach jolted. Lena. “He uh…Told me he was doing this for …for Supergirl.”

“Did you recognize any of the other men?” J’onn spoke.

“No…I was pretty drunk at first…and they threatened me. Told me not to look at them. I didn’t want them hurting anyone. I didn’t…I”

“It’s ok Ms. Luthor.” Vasquez calmed.

“Can I go to the hospital? Please?”

“Lena…we have a facility where we can take you. It would be safer. Until we can apprehend the people that did this to you.” Kara recognized Alex’s voice.

“No. I…Please…I want to go to the hospital. My private doctor is at National City General.”

“We can’t guarantee your safety if-“

“Please.” Lena’s voice was strained, and the please came out cracked. Kara could tell from the way it was spoken she must have been in a lot of pain. Kara could feel herself tearing up and she bit her lip. She just wanted to help Lena. She wanted to comfort her, let her know she was safe, that she wasn’t alone. That Kara wouldn’t let anything like this ever happen to her again. “Please… Please Agent Danvers. I’ll hire private security… Just take me to the hospital.”

“Ok… ok Lena. Is there anyone you want us to call?”

“.. No.”

“Ma’am can you stand? Let me help you up. That’s it. Lean on me.” Susan again. Kara’s heart ached. She thanked Rao Vasquez was here with Alex. She wiped her hand over blurry eyes, and retreated around the other corner. So she wouldn’t be there when they brought Lena through. She didn’t want to cause Lena pain. She didn’t want…

J’onn found her though, as they were loading up the chopper.

“Supergirl.”

“How is…” her own voice was fractured.

“I think she’ll be alright… Your sister seemed slightly concerned with her injuries, looked like she was having some trouble breathing, but none of them should be life threatening.” Kara’s hands were twitching, and she managed to nod. “…Don’t take on the burden someone else’s sins. Not your parents. Or hers. Or anyone who claims to do things in your name.” J’onn’s eyes were understanding, but Kara just shook her head.

“I uh…I should get to the hospital. She might not want to see Supergirl…but maybe Kara Danvers can help this time?” Kara paused as she heard the chopper take off. “J’onn… I know this case isn’t alien related… and the only reason you let it go this far was because it seemed remotely possible Lena COULD have been taken by…an alien… considering all the ill will that the other Luthor’s have spread toward them… but now?” J’onn looked at her.

“As far as I’m concerned we will continue to cover this case. Because it involves Supergirl. We need to make sure we are thorough, or others will try the same tactics.” Kara let out a breath. She could still hear Lena, despite the fact that the chopper had taken off. Her breaths were short, and Kara could hear her groan as the chopper hit little pockets of air.

“Thank you J’onn.”

“I’ll head back to the DEO and assist Mr. Schott as best I can.”

Kara lifted into the air. She needed to give Lena time to get to the hospital, to get checked out. She could still hear Lena’s heartbeat. It was fast. Scared. Hurt. She pulled together some things. The warm blanket she’d covered Lena with the other night. Some flowers. And then she went to National City General.

Despite wearing the glasses that usually helped her dampen her sensory powers, she could hear the quietest of whimpers as the doctors attempted to set Lena’s arm. The tremor in her breath as she waited for a CT scan. The nurses asking if she wished to speak to a crisis counselor. The grinding of Lena’s teeth as she forced out a ‘no’. As much as she tried to listen to anything else, to give Lena her privacy, those were the sounds that echoed all around her.

When she was sure Lena was settled in a room, nurses putting her on an IV for pain, she finally made her way to the desk. She could make out Alex and Vasquez performing a security walkthrough through the rest of the building. Private security had been stationed outside of Lena’s room.

“I’m here to see Lena Luthor. I’m Kara Danvers.” She said, nervously, showing the nurse her ID, holding the flowers. The nurse nodded.

“I’ll see if she’s accepting visitors.” Kara looked down and waited. The blood rushed in her ears. She felt sick. Lena needed to be ok. She needed… “Dear?” The nurse had returned, there was a slight look of pity on her face. “She said she’s not seeing anyone tonight. She wants to be alone.” Kara’s eyes welled, and she swallowed thickly. She managed a nod.

“Can…can you give her these?” Kara asked.

“We’re not really…” Kara’s eyes must have looked pleading, because the nurse took the blanket and the flowers. “I’ll try to get them to her.”

Kara staggered to the stairwell, listening to the nurse have the blankets and flowers checked by the security team outside of Lena’s room. She heard the flowers set on Lena’s bedside table. She heard the blanket settle folded by Lena’s feet. She heard the last of the nurses leave and she heard the door close, and she heard Lena pull the blanket up with her good arm.

And then she heard Lena Luthor start to cry for the first time since she’d found her in that warehouse.

Uncontrolled sobs as she gripped the blanket close to her and her broken body curled around it.

Kara slid down against the wall, pulling her arms and knees in, hands gripped over her ears.

And she cried too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Comments make me super happy, though I'm sorry if I don't respond, I don't get a ton of free time! But I read them all and appreciate them so much!)


	12. Suckerpunch

Kara threw a punch and Mon-El barely dodged out of the way. Kara’s eyes were dark and stormy. Unfocused. Dangerous. She swung again and this time caught him in the jaw. The Daxamite staggered a bit, but then shook his head and got back into a fighting stance, just in time for Kara to land another solid set of punches to his ribs. He held up a hand.

“Ok, ok, aunt. AUNT.” Kara was in her own world. She swung again, but Mon-El had managed to back out of the way. “KARA. WHOA. AUNT. I give up!” the raise of his voice brought Kara back to reality. She was breathing hard and her voice came out gravelly as Mon-El held his ribs.

“It’s uncle.”

“Huh?”

“It’s uncle. Not aunt.” Mon-El nodded.

“Ok, good to know, but I’m guessing my mix-up isn’t why you just tried to take my head off.” Kara looked away, down one of the hallways that separated the sparring room from the rest of the DEO. “Is… is there anything you want to talk about?” He tried. Kara shook her head.

“No.” she loosened her fists out. “I’m sorry. Are you ok?” Mon-El just nodded.

“Yeah…I- “

“I should probably get going. If I’m late one more time Snapper is probably going to take away my copier privileges or something.” Kara looked away distractedly.

“Kara… have I… done something to displease you?” Kara looked at Mon-El. His head was cocked to the side. He looked confused. Kara shook her head.

“No… no that’s not it. I’m just… I’m not here…” Kara sat down on a bench near one of the windows. She glanced at Mon-El, who almost looked more confused at this. “I mean…I’m physically here. I’m distracted. It’s not you. I’m worried about something.” Mon-El sat next to her, grimacing with pain a bit as he did.

“I think I understand.” His eyebrows bunched together. “Your friend, Lena, the one who throws the parties…the one who saved us all from Medusa… You’re worried about her. Aren’t you?” Kara nodded mutely. It had been thirteen days since Lena was taken. Thirteen days since Lena was found. Thirteen days since Lena had stopped talking to her…or anyone it seemed. She had tried to visit her again, several times in the hospital, only to be turned away each time. Supergirl had released a statement through CatCo denouncing the event. Offering her sincere wishes that Lena be ok. Calling on the people for understanding…but…it hadn’t helped. Because Lena hadn’t been back to L-Corp yet either. And Kara Danvers wasn’t supposed to know where Lena lived, so it wasn’t like she could just show up there. And Supergirl… Lena didn’t want Supergirl anywhere near her. Kara felt an ache inside her. Mon-El’s voice broke through her thoughts. “There’s been no word from her?” Kara shook her head.

“She was hurt…” her voice came out small.

“Winn explained what happened…  And her attackers… still nothing?”

“No. Winn’s tried everything. Alex and J’onn too…” Kara stood suddenly. Restless. “I really should go.” Mon-El nodded and she started to walk away.

“Kara?” His voice stopped her. “Khap eahm Rao chahd bem.” The Kryptonese was clumsy spilling from his Daxamite tongue, but Kara’s eyes welled nonetheless. It was a phrase she had not heard in a long time. Roughly translated it was ‘I pray Rao brings good.’

It was what was said between old friends when things felt hopeless on Krypton.

They weren’t really old friends… new friends was closer.  Truthfully though Kara wasn’t sure WHAT they were really, after he’d kissed her when he was sick, it was clear he felt something towards her… but she…. Her head felt so confused at the moment. She might have felt something back that night… but now… but now her thoughts were just filled with worry. There wasn’t room for anything else. She shook her head. Not right now. She didn’t… have the capacity for reflection. She needed... She didn’t know what she needed… Too much worry… Too much hurt. Rao it hurt so much. Her arms gripped around her middle.

Regardless of anything though… ‘I pray Rao brings good’…  the sentiment of the phrase remained. It was meant to comfort. She didn’t turn, didn’t want to cry.

“Nahkluv.” Her voice was shaking. ‘Thank you.’ She left.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

CatCo was buzzing when she arrived soon after.  Something must have happened. She went straight to Cat’s… well James’… office. People were darting in and out, and James was in full boss-mode, signing things, tapping madly at his phone in between.

“What-?” Kara asked

“The Luthor family lawyer is calling a press conference.” Kara stopped.

“What…I mean, why?” James shook his head.

“Don’t know. Just know it’s set for 3pm.”

“Do you think it’s about Lena?” James shrugged.

“I honestly have no idea. But whatever it is. It’s something big. He wouldn’t have bothered calling a press conference if it wasn’t.”

“Will she be there?”

“Again, don’t know. It’s possible.” Snapper came into the office at that moment and Kara gritted her teeth, preparing for Snapper to go on a diatribe.

“Ponytail, good of you to grace us with your presence.”

“I-“

“Save it. You’re on weird tip hotline with restricted copier privileges until you get it together. I don’t have time for people who waste my time.”

“But I need to be at the press conference this afternoon!”

“No. What you need is to not be late for your job. What you needed was to get me a quote from Lena Luthor after everything. But you didn’t, did you Ponytail? Now it’s thirteen days later and we’re not going to get an exclusive because you couldn’t get a quote, and they’re holding some press conference instead.” Kara was indignant.

“She’s declined seeing everyone. And she was hurt. Her kidnapping was publicly splashed over the entire internet. She deserved her privacy. How was I supposed to get a quote?”

“Not my problem.” Snapper left, and Kara’s fists were shaking. James noticed and pulled her over to the side of the office.

“Hey…Hey…take it easy ok? It’s just Snapper. And despite what he says I think you’d better be there as a certain superhero, don’t you? If everything you told me is true? This presser is going to be a huge target for her attackers.”

“I can’t be seen…” Kara’s voice cracked. “As Supergirl. She doesn’t want me around. If she’s there…”

“So go as Kara. I’m Snapper’s boss, I can override his decision.”

“She wouldn’t see me…” Kara looked down. “I think…I don’t know what’s wrong…I just figured…she might see me…but she wouldn’t.” Kara couldn’t tell him that she was still picking up on Lena’s breathing and heartbeat. That she knew Lena hadn’t spoken a word since getting to the hospital. It wasn’t even like she was trying to consciously listen. It was just what her ears picked up. Some days she just wanted to scream in frustration because she could hear Lena hurting and she couldn’t tune it out, and she couldn’t do anything to help. Couldn’t tell James that she’d taken to going to the crime scene, behind all those lead walls and lead paint and lead machinery, just so she wouldn’t have to hear the other woman crying at night. He put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey…it’s not your fault… you know that right?”

“That’s what everybody says…but it still feels like it is. If I wasn’t Supergirl...”

“Kara…”

“I just…I don’t know how to help her James. I need to help her.” James was quiet a moment.

“Kara…some people…they don’t want to be saved.” Kara thought back to that night on the balcony…thought back to Lena frightenedly gripping onto her arm after she’d almost fallen. Thought back to Lena asking her to say. Lena asking for her help. “Clark tried saving Lex and-“

“Lena is not Lex!” the words were louder than she intended them to be, and a few heads turned in the bullpen outside. The blonde reigned herself in and took a breath. “And this is not the same thing. She does want to be saved…I just…something is wrong and I don’t…” James backpedaled after seeing Kara’s distress, his voice softer and kinder.

“Hey…I know she’s your friend, and I know it’s a different situation…I wasn’t trying to…I just…I can see this is eating you up…and I know you. I know you’re never going to stop trying or taking on the weight of what happened…I just don’t want it destroying you Kara.”  Kara exhaled.

“I should go…Someone needs to cover the tipline…and then I need to call Alex, and scout the press conference location. Make sure everything is ok, and then…figure out…how to dodge Snapper while being there as Kara. I don’t need you going over his head…but you’re right…I should be there.”

“Kara…”

“I’m ok James.”

“…You know you’re a really bad liar, right?” Any other time he might have been teasing, but his face just held concern right now. Kara blinked rapidly. Her eyes were burning.

“I know I am. But I need to keep…on…going. So just this once…pretend I’m not.” He nodded.

“…Kara…just…be careful with all this, ok?” She gave a halfhearted nod back and left, but they both knew it was just for show.

 

____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Kara stood in the back of the hotel ballroom where the press conference had been set up. Snapper had pushed his way to the front with some other CatCo reporters, so she was at least safe from him. Her heart was hammering in her chest though. She knew that Lena was here. Could hear how close the other woman’s heart sounded. It was steady, but every now and again it would flutter nervously. Kara tried to ignore it.  And then she could heart the Luthor family lawyer telling Lena it was time to go out on stage, and they were walking out.

Kara stopped breathing. Lena’s skin looked almost translucent in the harsh light of the ballroom. She had dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. And she was gaunt. Far too thin. Fading yellow bruises on her face and neck, arm encased in a cast. Her eyes were dull. She moved slowly, deliberately, as though any wrong step might break her, onto the stage, where the lawyer helped her to a chair. Kara bit her lip. Even when she’d last seen her…as Supergirl…Lena hadn’t…hadn't...

On stage Lena looked down. Despite her stilled demeanor one foot bounced slightly now that she was sitting.  The lawyer went to the podium.

“I will be making a statement, and then I will be taking brief questions. So firstly, on behalf of Ms. Luthor, I would like to thank you all for coming here today. My client, has communicated that she does not wish to address the specific events that occurred that night. She does wish to say that she is in good health, and is on the road to recovery. None of her attackers have been brought to justice, but the Science Police have assured me they are doing everything that they can in conjunction with other government agencies.

Further, she wishes to address her captor’s message to Supergirl, and another matter relating to it. After the ordeal, my client came to me with a very important piece of information. As you know, Lillian Luthor was arrested two and a half weeks ago, with evidence linking her to Cadmus. My client revealed that she had uncovered evidence that Lillian was the one that was truly behind the crimes that my previous client Lex Luthor was arrested and imprisoned for- “

The ballroom erupted in chaos. Questions were shouted as the lawyer tried to regain control.

Kara took a sharp breath in, trying to comprehend.

“Which is why,” the lawyer was shouting over the din now. Kara was staring at Lena, mouth slightly open, when Lena’s eyes flicked upwards and found hers in the back of the room. The brunette’s brow furrowed, some kind of anger behind her eyes, and she looked away almost immediately. The lawyer continued, raising his voice even louder, “Which is why I will be petitioning the court for his IMMEDIATE RELEASE.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry I wanted to get this up in time for Christmas, but then things were crazy and I had a bad migraine, so merry belated Christmas and happy holidays to you all. Have some angst! As always, comments make me super happy, though I'm sorry if I don't respond, I don't get a ton of free time! But I read them all and appreciate them so much!)


	13. Not The Same

Maggie ran a weary hand over her eyes as she sat at her desk.

The press conference had been yesterday. And today, the judge had announced Lex’s release. It had been that quick. He was due to be released tomorrow. And it was all because of Lillian. Who had admitted to everything Lena had accused her of. So now Lex was getting out. Some of the public was outraged. Some were ambivalent. But from what Maggie had read, some of the public was glad Luthor was getting out. He’d always been dangerously charming that way. His charisma, paired with the horror of Lena being attacked? Some people were outspoken about being glad the ruling had been overturned. The DEO was understandably in a tizzy, and Alex, well Alex had been trying to console Kara. Kara had been numb since the press conference, Maggie had visited them both last night. She’d brought pizza after hearing the news, but Kara would barely eat. It was that bad. Her and Alex had had a date planned for tonight but-

Maggie’s phone rang.

Speaking of her girlfriend.

“Hey babe.”

“Hey…Maggie…” Alex’s voice sounded exhausted. “I know we-“

“I know. You need to be with Kara.”

“…Yeah…”

“Is she any better?”

“…Uh…her cousin…Superman called. I think it actually made things worse though. He…was pretty hard on Lena’s decision…which I think Kara understands…but she’s feeling betrayed by Lena…and she’s…still taking Lena’s kidnapping as her fault…”

“Even with everything, how did Lex manage to get out so easily?”

“They never had anything concrete on him. Just paper trails and circumstantial evidence. But there was so much of it…It was kind of a he-said/he-said…but with Superman as a witness AND the other evidence? Of course the jury convicted him. The only problem is, because it was all so vague…it’s easy for him to pin it on someone else who could have plausibly had the same access. And Lillian was all too willing to take that on… with Lena’s help.”

“I don’t get it though. Why turn Lillian in in the first place?”

“Maybe they planned on getting Lex out that way from the beginning?”

“So why not do it immediately after Lillian’s arrest? Why wait? And why did Lena foil Lillian’s Medusa attack?”

There was silence on the line a minute.

“I don’t even know…I’m too tired to try and figure out all the twisted dynamics of the Luthors…We should do something…soon…I just-“

“Hey don’t worry about it ok? Take care of your sister. We’ll figure something out when we can. Ok?”

“…Yeah…”

“Ok Danvers, I’ll let you go.”

“…Uh…hey Maggie?”

“Yeah? You ok?”

“Uh huh… Yeah…I am...I…uh…Love you. Got to go.” Alex hung up before Maggie could respond. A soft sort of smile had fallen in the corners of her lips, and she was pretty sure her cheeks were pink. That was the first time Alex had said that. The first time either of them had actually. She tapped out a text and sent it immediately.

Love you too Danvers.

She shook her head and typed a second text.

Weirdsmobile.

While she was grinning like an idiot, her captain slammed a file down on her desk. Henderson did not look pleased.

“Sawyer. What the hell is this. You were supposed to get those signatures for the L-Corp attack TWO weeks ago.” Shit. The night she’d taken Lena out drinking. She’d never had Lena sign the paperwork. She gave the captain a dimpled smile none-the-less.

“Aww, come on cap, the whole Lena Luthor kidnapping thing went down and then-“

“Save it. Just get it done. By tonight. I’ll have Gavin waiting for the file.” Captain Henderson gave her a glare and left. Maggie breathed out, and then rummaged through her desk for the paperwork. Once she had it she grabbed her jacket. Time to pay Lena Luthor a visit.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Jess was dutifully at her desk when Maggie exited the elevator.

“Detective Sawyer.” Jess squinted, eyes judging Maggie.

“Jess.”

“I assume this is official business?” Maggie nodded, holding up the paperwork. Jess stood. She bit her lip and lowered her voice. “Listen, as much as I’m angry with you for taking her to that bar, it looks like this psycho was bound to attack her at some point, and I’m glad there was someone with her who could help track her down as quickly as you all were able.” Maggie’s eyebrows raised. Praise from Jess. Not much. But still. “But just know…this is the first day she’s been back in the office…and she is not...” Jess glanced around, making sure no one was walking by or listening. She lowered her voice again to a whisper. “She’s not really herself. Not the Lena Luthor I know. So be gentle on her or I swear to god Detective Sawyer…I will hunt you down. She’s been through enough.” Maggie gave Jess a sugar-sweet smile.

“First of all. Thank you. Secondly it’s just a couple signatures, not planning on interrogating her or anything. And thirdly, did you just threaten a police officer?” Jess crossed her arms and looked sharply at Maggie.

“You bet your…badge… I did.” A slight squeak of fear was in her voice, and Maggie had to keep from laughing because Jess looked like she had wanted to say ‘You bet your ass I did’ but some kind of puritanical force had stopped her. She gave secretary a shrug instead. She did admire Jess’ devotion to her boss if nothing else.

“Just making sure I had that right.” Jess looked surprised but pleased with Maggie’s response.

“Good. Glad we understand each other.” Jess smoothed her blazer and knocked gently on the door. “Ms. Luthor? Detective Maggie Sawyer is here. On police business.” Maggie didn’t hear anything from Lena, but Jess opened the door wider for her, so she entered.

Lena was at her desk. Maggie had seen her on the news from yesterday, all gaunt and ghostly white, but she wasn’t prepared for the numbness of the other woman’s features. The news footage didn’t do it justice, because the detective had to stop herself from cursing. Lena looked devoid...of anything.

Maggie held the papers up.

“Uh…just those reports from the…the other night.” Lena gave a small nod and raised her hand for them. Maggie crossed the room and handed the paperwork over. “How are you holding up? I heard…about your brother?” Maggie didn’t really know where she was going with this. She didn’t even know how she felt about Lena. Something in her felt like Kara did. Betrayed that Lena was helping her brother. Sad. Still guilty she’d taken Lena to that bar.

Lena opened her mouth, and then doubled over in sudden pain. Maggie grimaced. It looked bad.

“Jesus…You ok?” The CEO managed to straighten herself, and then stared directly at Maggie while she signed the paperwork with shaking hands. Her eyes were cold and hard.

“Is there anything else detective?” she handed the papers to Maggie, speaking in a voice that was raspy from clear disuse. Maggie shook her head wordlessly.

Jess had been right. This was not the same Lena Luthor. Not the woman she’d seen that night at Kara’s. Not the woman she’d had drinks with. This reminded her more of the tabloid pictures of blankfaced teen Luthor. Emotionless. Reminded her of Lex’s chilling interviews. Reminded her of Lillian’s. Maggie blinked.

“That was it…Thank you for your time Ms. Luthor.” Maggie squared her jaw, narrowed her eyes, and left the office. Maybe that was the real Lena Luthor.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Maggie handed the file over to Gavin at the police clerk’s office. On a good day, he drove Maggie crazy. He was meticulous, and Maggie knew that was exactly why Henderson had told her to deliver the file to him specifically. That and she was pretty sure Henderson knew he annoyed the hell out of her. And Henderson was just that petty sometimes. She leaned against the desk while Gavin read the files.

“Oooo, we’ve got a problem. Henderson is going to kill you. THIS, is the wrong paperwork.” Gavin gloated and Maggie looked at him skeptically.

“Bullshit. I just got that paper signed.”

“Not by the right witness.” Gavin’s eyebrows raised and handed the sheet back to Maggie. “Swing and miss detective. I leave at five, or you can try again tomorrow.” Maggie ripped the sheet from his hands. God he was so damn smug. She read over the sheet. It was Lena’s witness report, all typed out. This was the right sheet. She glanced down at the signature. Maybe Lena just had really bad handwr-

Maggie’s eyes widened. Shit. SHIT.

She immediately pulled out her phone to dial Alex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment? They make me super happy.
> 
> EDIT: Hey guys, I wanted to update tonight, because I know y'all were excited to read more (especially with the cliffhanger), but I've got a really bad migraine, I can barely see my keyboard to type right now haha, so it's going to have to wait until tomorrow or when I'm feeling better. SO sorry! But I'll post the next chapter as soon as I'm able.
> 
> (Also thank you so much for all thr kind comments about my writing, they're so encouraging to read!)
> 
> -August


	14. Wired

“Winn!”

Winn swiveled on his chair at the command station of the DEO, mid-sip in his large soda, pulling his headphones off as Maggie stalked towards him. 

“Uh…”

“I need you to pull up a video of the press conference from yesterday. Whichever one has a clear shot of Lena Luthor.”

“Do I…?” Winn still had one hand on his headphones.

“I’m Maggie. Sawyer? We met at the bar that one time. Alex’s uh…” Winn squinted and looked around.

“How did you even get in here? This place is restricted access only. Aren’t you like a cop or...?”

“Alex called ahead and told them to let me in.” Winn still looked confused. “Can you pull up the video or not?”

“I can but-“

“Do it Winn.” Alex’s voice carried over the bustling nerve center as she made her way towards them. Winn looked between Alex and Maggie. “Hey. What was so urgent? Kara’s still-“

“I know, but I wouldn’t have called you here unless it was really important babe, Winn, pull up the video?”

“Can do. Wait…babe…? Since when!?” Winn was looking distractedly from Maggie to Alex again. Alex sighed, exasperated.

“For like a month, can you just pull up the video Winn?”

“Ok first of all, rude. Secondly, congratulations I didn’t know you were dating? And third, what are we looking for?” Maggie handed Alex the paperwork Lena had signed. Alex looked it over quickly.

“It’s a witness statement?”

“Look at the signature.” Winn stood and peered over Alex’s shoulder, who pushed him away as she tried to make out the cursive signature.

“Alex D. Morse, dated 5.05….and the other one reads  Luthor P. Resscon….also dated 5.05 …”

“I went to see her, to get her to sign those, and she was…She barely said four words to me…But I noticed these later. Something is really off with her. I think this is a cry for help. The first bit, it’s a clear message to you. And the 5.05, if you’re not looking close-“

“S.O.S.” Winn broke in. Alex was staring at the sheet.

“And the second one is Luthor Press Conference. You think the Morse reference is-“

“Exactly. Morse code. Winn-“

“Yep, pulling it up.” Winn isolated the video so only Lena Luthor was visible and they watched intently.

“There.” Alex said, pointing to Lena’s leg, which was bouncing slightly. To anyone in the audience, it probably looked like the jitters. “She’s signaling. Winn paper?”

“Yeah, yeah, uh-yeah.” Winn shuffled for a minute, but Maggie was ahead of him, and handed Alex the small notepad from her back pocket. Alex started writing. Maggie wrinkled her nose. It looked like a jumble of letters and numbers to her. Lena stopped after a certain point. All three crowded around the notepad.

“It’s a whole lot of nothing.” Maggie said. Winn grabbed the notepad.

“No, no it can’t be nothing…This woman built a blackbody field generator...she has a genius level IQ… She wouldn’t give you a coded message just to send us a whole lot of nothing. I’ve got a hunch.” He opened a command prompt and started typing furiously. When he was finished, a new window popped up. A live video feed. Alex and Maggie leaned closer.

“What feed is this?” Alex said. The feed blinked.

“That’s Lena’s office.” Maggie squinted. The camera panned down to a desk. There was a soft ticking noise in the background. The feed blinked again. Winn was still typing. He stopped suddenly after reading something from another window. He stood up and backed away from the computer.

“Sweet…holy…”

“What? What did you hack into?” Alex was looking back at Winn, who’s hands were shaking. “Did they trace you?”

“No…I managed to put in safeguards to keep us from being traced…I hope…but that feed...” The picture dipped to black again and then panned up a little. A hand was visible on the desk. “I…uh…from what I can tell…that feed…it’s wired…to something biological.” Maggie shook her head.

“Wait…what do you mean…biological?”

Alex gritted her teeth, looking back at the feed. “He means it’s wired to Lena…this feed…it’s linked to her cranial nerves…isn’t it?” Alex’s stomach was turning. Winn nodded.

“I think so…”

“Shit…” Maggie breathed out.

“Winn, can you pull any kind of earlier video from this?” Winn sat back down, hands still trembling. His hands ghosting over his keyboard.

“Uh…I…I might be able to…I just…if this thing is linked to her…It’s probably unrealistic to think that tracking the feed’s destination location is going to somehow shut off her brain…but… ”

“I get it, I get it…but if you can…If it’s possible, pull up the feed from two weeks ago. When Lena was taken. If she’s under duress, that might be a good place to start, to shed some light on things. That's when she started acting weird, right?” Winn nodded and took a breath. He was carefully typing now. Alex and Maggie were silent, watching him.

“I think…I think I just managed to hack Cadmus…” he said a tense minute or two later. Alex leaned in again.

“Cadmus…You’re sure? You’ve been trying to get into their system for months.”

“Considering I’m looking at schematic files for brain murder switches and cyborgs, yeah... I’m pretty sure. They didn’t put as many safeguards around Lena’s feed, because they probably never expected anyone would be able to get a hold of it directly…or know it was there at all…From there it was relatively simple to backtrack to where it was broadcasting to.”

“Can you pull up the video from two weeks ago or not?” Maggie leaned against his chair too, looking over his other shoulder.

“You know you’re both very impatient and while I think that makes you perfect for each other, it’s just a little stressful when I’m trying to hack a dangerous organization without being detected.” Winn muttered, eyes still glued to the screen, typing. “Got it.” Another window came up, a frozen shot of Maggie in the crowded bar. Winn started to fast forward, through the kidnapping, the switch in the tunnel, until Lena was being tied down to the chair in the warehouse, then he turned the feed to normal and they all watched intently. Lena’s gaze lifted upwards, to the man in the Supergirl shirt. He took off his mask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the well wishes guys! This was originally going to be a longer chapter, but I still had a bit of my migraine, so I decided to split it into two instead, haha. More suspense for you guys I guess! I'll try to do the rest tomorrow! Hopefully I'll be feeling even better then!


	15. Help Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dark and involves violence and emotional manipulation. Please be aware if that is triggering to you.

_TWO WEEKS AGO_

The ropes were bound tightly. And Lena was still a bit drunk. Her mind was working overtime though. Trying to figure out some way out of this. At the bar, the man had threatened to shoot people at random. In the car, there were too many ways it could end in death for her or civilians. And now. Now she was tied down. Her cellphone was lying on the bar top somewhere miles and miles away.

She thought it was strange that none of the men had bothered to cover their faces. She had memorized them, in those brief couple of seconds before they yelled at her to put her head down. Thank god for a photographic memory. But now she was in some warehouse, and possibly about to die, so it probably wouldn’t do her any good. She was shaking despite her best attempt to keep calm. She was alone for a moment, and she pulled experimentally at the ropes. Too tight. Then a man walked in from the left. Lena’s breath hitched when she realized he was wearing a Supergirl shirt. The mask was something cheap. Some god-awful gruesome Halloween mask, and Lena’s nose wrinkled as the smell of latex hit her. She hated that smell. He reached up and pulled it off.

“Otis.” She said, gritting her teeth.

She hadn’t really been expecting him if she was being honest.

Otis Beatty was Lex’s most faithful lackey. Ever since college. When Lex was arrested, they’d tried to go after Otis as well, but he’d gone missing. Everyone figured he’d managed to bumble his way out of the country, or that he’d been off’d. They underestimated him, because he was never known to be that smart. Not standing next to Lex Luthor anyways. But Lena never had. Otis had a dark streak, rich parents, and plenty of street smarts. Not to mention the unchecked loyalty to her brother. That was what made him most dangerous of all.

The fact that he was currently wearing a Supergirl shirt could mean nothing good. Because the day Otis betrayed Lex for National City’s savior was the day the earth rotated backwards. Lena’s hands formed into fists to try and stop the shaking. The hulking man in front of her smiled.

“Ms. Luthor.”

“What do you want Otis? I was just in the middle of a lovely drink before your friends showed up.” She hoped her voice sounded nonchalant.

“Well, there’s kinda someone who wants to chat with you is all. And he thought it’d be better if this was a kinda private meeting, just you and him like.” Lena’s eyebrows raised.

“Lex then?” A grin spread over Otis’ face and he pointed a finger at her.

“You always were a smart one… Not as smart as your brother, but no one quite is as smart as Mr. Luthor, is they?”

“Well if he’s so smart, then why is he in prison?” Lena couldn’t stop the bite, and it was met with hard backhand across her face. She felt one of Otis’ rings tear some skin on her forehead. She shook her head, between the alcohol and the slap she was disoriented, and tried to regain some balance. Her ears were ringing.

“You may be his sister, but don’t you ever disrespect Mr. Luthor in front of me.” Otis turned slightly, fumbling with a tablet. Her vision was swimming but Lena kept her eyes glued to Otis and the screen. Everything. Every moment was important now if it involved her brother. If she got out of this…She needed to remember everything. Otis turned the screen back towards her. Lex was smiling at her now. Lena could see the orange of his prison jumpsuit.

“Long time sis.” Lena set her jaw and glared at the screen. “Aww, don’t be like that.”

“How am I supposed to be Lex? You tried to kill me several months ago, and now you’ve had me kidnapped.” Lex’s eyes glinted dangerously.

“To be fair, that incident a few months ago? That was nothing. That was simply testing you. And testing National City’s newest hero too. Wanted to see your dynamic. Can you blame me? After HE put me here? After you did nothing to help me? Not to mention, there’s the whole, changing my company’s name…which I wasn’t too pleased about. But rest assured. I was never trying to kill you.” Lex’s voice had gone dark.

“Well, you could have fooled me.” She all but spat the words. And for some reason this made Lex laugh. The laughter made Lena nervous. “So what am I doing here?”

“Well, it’s like Otis told you. I wanted to have a little chat. You see sis, I’ve got a little bit of a problem. I was doing just fine running things from in here. There was a plan to get me out. But it required time. And we both know I’m patient. But something you did? It disrupted that plan.”

“What did I do?”

“I think you know what you did Lena.” Lena just stared at him. “You betrayed your family. Again. You decided to turn Lillian in. Leaving Cadmus without a leader on the outside.” Lex shook his head. “You know it’s incredible really. That you would turn your back on me, and then not learn anything from it, and do it to your own mother.”

“People died because of you.” Lena’s voice was steady. “You were both hurting people. I wasn’t going to-“

“I WAS SAVING PEOPLE!” Lena shrank a bit in the chair. This was the Lex she’d remembered from before he’d gotten arrested. Adamant that he was in the right. Unwilling to admit how many he’d hurt. And dangerous. His mind had been twisted by some kind of complex. Some kind of thirst for power. He’d convinced himself he was saving people by trying to take Superman down. But all he’d really done was cause destruction. All of that rage and madness emanated in his voice now.

But he closed his eyes, and composed himself slightly. “And I will save people. And despite you throwing a wrench in my plans, I have come up with a new plan. As you know, Lillian is in prison. And my trial…well…everyone knows actual evidence was a little bit thin. And thanks to my resources… if mom was to, say, take ownership of all that I’VE been charged with… Pay off a judge or two…and I’ll be out in no time. It’s easy to game the system when you have the right components.” Lena’s skin was crawling.

“Why tell me?”

“Well because I need a little favor from you. You see…everyone is starting to trust you for some reason I can’t fathom, seeing as all you’ve done is betray people, but they do. Gotta say, that statement was an especially nice touch.  Very eloquent." Lex was pacing in his cell now, and Lena tracked him with her eyes. “So, I need you to be the one who uncovers some evidence and lets the public know Lillian is guilty for my so called ‘crimes’” Lena shook her head.

“No. You’re insane.” Another backhand from Otis. Lena tasted blood.

“You really shouldn’t aggravate him sis.”

“I’ll tell Supergirl, I’ll-“

“You’ll. Tell. Supergirl. God Lena do you even HEAR yourself? So you’ll go running to that sweet naïve little Kara Danvers and then what? She’ll come after me?” Lex tilted his head.

“What does Kara Danvers have to do-“ Lex was looking at her incredulously as he started laughing.

“Oh…oh this is good. You don’t know? How could you NOT know?” Lena’s mind was racing. What did Kara have to do with this? “Kara, that plucky little reporter with the heart of gold? Also a flying alien who kept you from falling to your death the other night.”

Lena couldn’t breathe.

“…What?”

“Oh come on Lena. I know you’re a bit slow…but put it together already.”

Oh my God. Kara…Kara was...Her head was reeling. How could she not see this? They’d both been there at the fundraiser though!... But not at the same time…Oh my god. And she’d been so out of sorts after everything with her mother…she probably would have put it together… It was so obvious now. Emotions rushed at her from every side. Anger… Anguish…because that meant Kara had suffered under mother’s hand…Oh God…Supergirl had been kidnapped by her mother…Kara had been kidnapped…hurt… But also betrayal, confusion…. and some kind of warmth… Something happy in the midst of it all? She didn’t understand. Her head hurt. She wanted to go to bed. She wanted to be wrapped in something safe and warm. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted…She wanted…

She wasn’t going to cry in front of Lex.

“Yes. I’ll tell her.” Lena said. Setting her jaw. Hating the tremor in her voice. “She is good. And smart. And she’ll stop you.” Lex sighed on the screen. He held up what looked like a remote and pressed a button. Pain exploded down Lena’s spine and in her head. She screamed, not expecting it.

“No. You won’t.” Lena felt like her spine was being crushed. Lex released the button, and Lena fell forward, breathing heavy. “Do you remember that car crash? A few weeks before my trial?” Lena’s brain was swimming. Everything felt hazy. Need to remember. She forced her eyes up, staring at the screen. What was he saying? The car crash. She’d been in the back of a towncar, and then woken up in the hospital. Her head had hurt. They said she had been injured. She’d had stitches on the back of her head…

Her blood felt like ice in her veins as she started putting it together.

“….What did you do to me…”

“Well, at that point…it looked likely that you’d be taking over the company. And you hadn’t bothered to defend me. So I needed to make sure an eye was kept on you. Corporate cameras can only pick up so much. I needed a closer eye. Make sure you didn’t run the company into the ground. So mother and I worked up a solution. A transmitter, wired to your cranial nerves. At first…I would just keep an eye on you during work. Make sure you didn’t destroy the company I helped build.” Lena could feel bile at the back of her throat.

“You’re lying. Maybe the chair is wired to shock me…or…”

“Otis? Show her the feed.” Otis tilted the screen slightly and tapped at it. A separate window popped up. And Lena realized she was looking at…an infinite loop. Looking a screen within a screen within a screen…and when she moved her head…the screen moved. She looked up at Otis, and to her horror, she could see his face in the screen in her periphery vision. Lena felt like she was going to throw up.  Otis closed the window of the feed. “Like I said. Wired to your cranial nerves. And then you met Supergirl. That’s when I started to watch you just a bit closer.”

“You’re sick. You’re…” Otis’ hand gripped around her throat, tight, and she gasped for air.

“Easy Otis. Don’t want to do too much brain damage. She needs to remember this.” Otis let up after a second, leaving Lena coughing.

“Now, when you found out Mom was heading up Cadmus in my absence? I understandably got a little worried. But then you gave Supergirl that speech… and I must say…I didn’t watch you like I should have that night. You did fool me. Didn’t realize you’d switched out the isotopes until it was too late. Didn’t realize you’d alerted the police. DIDN’T REALIZE YOU’D BETRAYED US AGAIN. But I should have known. You’re a Luthor.” Lena’s whole body felt like it was shaking. “Which is why I’ve had you under 24 hour surveillance since then.” Lena couldn’t stop the tears leaking from her eyes. This was wrong. It was wrong. She felt like she was going to throw up.

“And because we’ve got a transmitter linked to your cranial nerves, it also allows me to do this.” Lex pressed the button again and Lena doubled up in pain. Lex released the button a second later. “Tested it yesterday evening for the first time while you slept. Fairly effective.”

“I don’t care.” Lena forced out. “I’ll tell her anyways. I’m not-“

“I thought you might say that. Which is why I’ve got a few other safeguards in place. See mom, mom underestimates you. She said you’d cave with just a little bit of pain. But I knew. I knew better than to ever underestimate you again.” Lex tapped the lens, his finger showing up large on the screen. “I’ve placed bombs at random throughout the city. One word to anyone. Supergirl? Her equally annoying sister? That cop you had drinks with tonight? I will blow the bombs. And innocent lives will be on your hands. Maybe even people you know. That secretary of yours, she just got engaged didn’t she?” Lena swallowed. This wasn’t fair…She was so tired…she was so tired…“Moving on, I need you to help me funnel some money out of Luthor Corp…or L-Corp as you call it. And I have just the man for the job. I believe he stopped by this evening?” Lionel Luthor had walked up beside Otis.  Lena caught a breath. “Speaking of, as an added incentive, if you betray me again, I will make sure you’re declared mentally incompetent, and he will get protective legal custody of you.”

Lena felt like she was in a nightmare. She could almost hear the wolf howls and the feeling of no escape around her. The trees were ripping into her skin. She sank further into the chair, trying to make herself disappear. This couldn’t be happening. She was so tired. She just wanted to sleep. This couldn’t be happening.

“I mean, after all, we do have proof you’re unstable. The camera’s at Luthor-Corp DID pick up you almost jumping to your death.” Lena spoke. Her voice was like broken glass as it choked out of her throat.

“…Y-You hate him. You…You hate him as much as I do!…He…he beat you bloody too many times to count.” Lex tilted his head.

“It’s true. As a father, indeed even a man? Lionel is a depraved soul… No offence dad.” Lionel shrugged. Lena’s teeth were chattering. She needed to keep her eyes on Lex, but they kept darting nervously to Lionel. “But every business man has their price. Pay him the right amount? Lionel can be reasonable.”

“When you found out…you promised you’d keep me safe from him… You promised he’d...never…You promised you’d keep him away from me.” Lena’s throat felt tight. He’d promised to keep her safe from Lionel. He’d promised. He was supposed to protect her.

“And I will. As long as you do everything I say. Lionel? Go.” The man left.

“I hate you... I hate you.” Lena was crying now. Unable to stop the pain from ripping out of her. This wasn’t fair…wasn’t…

“Hate me all you want Lena. But what I’m doing? It’s to protect you. It’s to protect EVERYONE.” Lena shook her head. “Now. I think it’s pretty clear that you’re going to do what you’re told. You’re emotional that way…Lena Luthor, always has to be the hero. Lena Luthor. SO good. You never did understand that to make a cake sometimes you have to break a few eggs.” Lex gritted his teeth. “You’ll do what I say, or people WILL die. Do you understand me?”

Lena was frozen a moment, but then managed to get out a nod. “But first, to make sure you blaming Lillian has even more emotional weight to it? To make sure the public is wary of the Supers and their devoted followers?…Otis is going to have to hurt you.” Lena let out a breath, looking at Lex. How could she ever have been so blind? So blind that her hurt, her need for someone to care about her, hadn’t let her see this. Hadn’t let her see how dangerous he was. How at the end of the day, he was only out for himself. Otis raised the tire iron and swung it at her arm a few times, and she let out animal like sobs of pain, but kept staring at Lex on the screen. Otis swung the piece of iron again at her ribs, and she felt a crack. She felt the sweat of pain pouring off her. Otis miraculously stopped.

“So here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to film a little video for the citizens out there. Give them something to think on. I want to see defiant strength in the face of evil, alright? Good stuff that will garner sympathy for you. Poor little Lena Luthor. All hurt by a Supergirl fan. And then Otis is going to leave, and you’re going to wait for them to find you. I’m sure they will. And when they do? Anyone I deem too dangerous to be talking to? You’re going to get a jolt. You’re going to ask them to take you to Metropolis General. There’s a doctor there who won’t raise a fuss about the transmitter. And what are you going to say to any questions?” Lena shook her head.

“I won’t…” talking hurt. Between her jaw, and the pain in her lungs… “I won’t say anything…” she wheezed out. “I promise…I won’t…” She just needed to get out of here…She was so tired. Everything hurt…Everything hurt.

“See, now that wasn’t so hard, was it? I’ll leave you two to record. I’m sure I’ll catch it on the news… And Lena…see you soon sis.” Lex smiled, and the screen went blank.

‘Fuck you.’ Lena thought as she ground her teeth together.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

After Otis had put the mask back on, and they’d filmed the video, he left. Slithering out one of the warehouse doors, closing it behind him. And she waited. Minutes felt like hours. The shock of the situation was wearing off. The shock of her injuries were wearing off. And she was in pain. So much pain. It sang in her blood. Screamed like fire. Her skin prickled and she was trying to fight to keep her eyes open.

Think. Breathe.

Think.

Breathe.

Think.

Think.

Breathe.

If she said anything…people would die…Lex would know immediately…and he would set off the bombs, and people would die…

There was no way…no way…

And then the doors had burst open, revealing Supergirl surrounded by a team of agents.

Another rush of emotions. But the biggest was relief. Kara was here…Kara was Supergirl…and she was here…Lena felt a sob in her throat…Kara was here and she was going to-

Pain ripped through her as soon as she felt Kara pull the ropes apart. A reminder.

'Hey sis. Don’t forget.' She could all but hear Lex’s voice in her head.

“Lena. I’ve got you.” Kara’s voice was reassuring and real. Supergirl’s hand was warm and gentle on her shoulder. And all Lena wanted to do was collapse into the superhero…into her friend’s arms. She wanted this all to be over. She wanted to be safe. She wanted…she wanted…

She couldn’t let Lex hurt anyone else.

Not like he hurt them before. Not like he was hurting her now. Couldn’t let Lex and Lillian and Lionel do this. Couldn’t let the Luthor legacy be this. So she swallowed when the pain stopped. When she was able to breathe. Swallowed and let the emotions sink deep into her heart.  Hid them away. And she spoke four words that she didn’t mean. Four words that made her hate herself. Four words that she had to say…four words that people’s lives depended on.

...

“Stay away from me.”

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Somehow she’d gotten Supergirl…Kara…to leave…somehow she’d gotten to the hospital. Somehow she’d managed not to cry in front of any of them. Couldn’t let them know…Couldn’t let them see anything was wrong. Just go away…Go away or he’ll hurt you…Lex’s doctor had set her arm…and they’d finally put her in a room. And then a nurse had come to the door. She heard Lex’s security team outside tell the nurses she wasn’t accepting visitors. But the nurse had returned a moment later, and one of the security men had brought in a vase of flowers and set it on the table. Then he’d set a blanket at her feet and left without a word. She recognized the blanket instantly. It was the one Kara had covered her with the other night. The one that smelled like Supergirl’s cape. She pulled it up close and cried, taking in the smell. Crisp air. Warm earth. That hint of chlorine that made her think of summer. She just wanted…she wanted…she…

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

She sat straight up from a nightmare, clutching her arm to her. Everything hurt. Everything hurt. But she’d been dreaming. What had she been dreaming? Of the warehouse. Think. It was important.

Her mind felt fuzzy from the painkillers.

Think. Breathe.

The screen.

She’d seen the screen. When Otis pulled up the feed. Her feed.

She knew how to get to it.

Gotcha.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

She didn’t sleep much. Too many nightmares. Too much pain. Too much time for her mind to chew on the problem of how to tell someone. Of how to call for help.

When Lex had put everything together the way he wanted, he had contacted her. Told her it was time for a press conference. She just needed to show up. He’d arranged everything with a lawyer.

If she could just…

When she got on stage she took a breath. And then began to count in her head. If she just bounced her leg…Lex would be focused on the lawyer…on the story of him getting out. On people’s reactions. If she made it look like nerves. It wouldn’t be much…a seemingly jumbled mess of letters and numbers in morse code…and without a way to alert someone to it at all?...But she had to try.

She lifted her eyes briefly,  after the lawyer made the announcement. The crowd was rabid. In the back she caught a still face with blonde hair. Kara. Supergirl looked so betrayed. So hurt. Lena's face formed into a frown. This wasn't fair. This wasn't right. She was going to fix it...she was... 

If she could just find a way... 

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

When Jess told her Maggie was there Lena choked down a sob.

Please.

Please.

Please.

She let her face go blank as the detective walked in. She could feel her heart pound as Maggie held up the papers. This was it. Now or never.

Maggie asked her something, and Lena had opened her mouth, but she felt an all too familiar jolt of pain down her spine. She took the papers, and then looked up at Maggie while she signed.

Don’t look down.

Don’t look down.

The writing would be too small for the L-Corp cameras to pick up. And as long as she didn’t look down.

Don’t look down.

“Is there anything else detective?” she handed the papers to Maggie, still staring at the detectives face.

Don’t look at the papers.

Don’t look down.

And Maggie had left. And Lena had prayed.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Help me.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

_PRESENT TIME_

There was silence as Winn, Maggie and Alex finished watching the feed.

“I think I’m gonna be sick…” Maggie muttered. Alex put an arm around her waist.

“We’re...We’re…” She said. She was still staring deadly at the screen. No one deserved that. No one…

“We’re going to save Lena Luthor. And then lock Lex up in a DEO prison and throw away the key.” Alex twisted her head. Kara was standing behind them. Dressed in her suit. Fists shaking dangerously. Jaw set.

“Kara…”

“Call J’onn and Clark. And assemble a team. One hour. I have a plan.” Kara’s voice was resolute, steel, as she stared at the screen. She turned and left them, launching up into the air as soon as she’d gotten to the balcony doors.

She looked across the city. Before she hadn't been meaning to listen to Lena...it was something she couldn't stop...But now...as much as it felt like a massive invasion of privacy...she just needed to know...

But she needed to know that Lena was...

She could hear Lena at her desk at L-Corp. She could hear the way Lena’s heart was beating fast and ragged. Kara could see the way the CEO was cradling her broken arm to her.

Hold on Lena.

Hold on.

I’m coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so now I'm actually really glad I broke up this chapter from the one before, because damn that kinda got long. But I figure Lex is verbose, right? And there was a lot of explanation and backstory to stuff we skipped earlier in the plot. And sorry, I know it was a little dark. But honestly...between Lex and Lionel? They're pretty dark. They've always frightened me as characters.
> 
> Anywho, as always, comments make me super happy! 
> 
> (Next chapter will probably be coming on Saturday? Unless I get to it tomorrow?  
> EDIT: My migraine came back with a vengeance, so I've been trying to sleep it off. I'll get to the next chapter as soon as I can guys. Sorry. :( )


	16. I'm Sorry

Kara looked around the corner at the foreboding L-Corp tower. It was cloudy and early morning, and the normally sunny and bright National City felt cold and dark today. Feeling a sudden spike of the butterflies in her stomach she pressed a finger to her radio.

“Is everyone in place? Winn, how are the bombs going?

“We were able to figure out their locations, through a combination of the plans, and video feeds. There are seventeen in total. J’onn is working on them.”

“And Alex?” Her sister’s voice came through the channel.

“Maggie and I have a team in place. We’re scouting now. It won’t destroy their operations, but it will sure as hell slow them down for a while.”

“Clark?”

“I’m at the prison. Out of site. Just waiting on the guards to bring him out. There’s a car waiting. From what I can tell they’re moving slow inside. Paperwork or something.” Clark responded. Kara swallowed. “J’onn will join me as backup when he’s done with the bombs. I think he only has two or three left.”

“Camera loops all good?”

“They’re all set… already running for the bomb locations… But…” Winn was stalling.

“...You weren’t able to disable Lena’s transmitter remotely.” Kara had been worried about this.

“No…Not without risking brain damage… We can replace her video and audio feed with loops going into their server…but if Lex figures out anything…he can still use the transmitter to…” To hurt her. Possibly even…Kara’s heart gave a lurch. She spoke in a reassuring tone, trying to soothe herself more than anything.

“He’s not going to find out. And Clark will disarm his device immediately if he does.”

They had a plan. Kara reminded herself. They spent all night refining it, planning. It was the morning. They were clear headed. They had a plan and this time the good guys were finally going to get a win.

The bombs were being taken care of by J’onn, aided by Winn. Since he was able to shapeshift, he drew the least amount of attention in the more public bomb locations.

Maggie and Alex and a team were taking down the building hosting the server Winn had hacked. Kara knew Alex was hoping they might be able find other servers, find some kind of trace of Jeremiah.

And Clark was at Stryker’s Island. Overseeing Lex’s release. Until they could confirm that all of his fail-safes were taken out, all of the bombs disarmed and removed, they had to pretend nothing was wrong and let his release continue. Even if they took him out, no doubt Otis would trigger the bombs. Otherwise Lex would get away with hurting innocent people. Otherwise he would…

No. This time things were going to work. They were ahead of him. When everything else was taken care of, Clark and a team of agents would intervene. Thanks to Lena, they had all the proof they needed to reverse Lex’s release.

And Kara was watching over Lena. Making sure she stayed safe through this. Heading up to her soon, so that even when they apprehended Lex, someone would be there in case he tried to have her killed or kidnapped.

Kara breathed out, listening to the different teams cross-talk on the radio. She squinted and stared up at the building. She was dressed as Kara Danvers. Well. Kara Danvers in a baseball cap at any rate. She didn’t want to draw any kind of crowd as Supergirl. If Lex got one whiff of news that Supergirl was anywhere near L-Corp tower… it could ruin everything. At least the public was still unaware of her identity as Kara Danvers. A little harder to pick her out of a crowd, even for security. But not impossible. Which is why she was currently hiding behind the corner. And about to sneak into the building as soon as she found a good opening.

Winn was going to loop the feeds, from both Lena’s transmitter, and to the building, so no one watching would be able to see her. But there was still internal security to dodge. And it would be a delicate balance to work her way to the top floor. Because she could count over 3 dozen men scouting the building, in the staircases, in the hall, outside of Lena’s office. Simply flying up to Lena’s balcony was sure to raise too much suspicion.

“Kara? I think your window might be coming up. As soon as you’re in position, I’ll switch the cameras to loop, and you can move to the first blind spot from security.”

“Got it.” Kara’s muscles tensed. It was going to be ok. She was going to get to Lena. J’onn was almost done taking out the bombs. Maggie and Alex were moving in on the server location. Clark was watching Lex. It was ok. It was ok.

“Kara,” Alex’s voice broke in over the feed. “I know I’ve teased you about not being sneaky, but you’ve got this ok? Just stay out of sight.” Kara nodded,

“Yeah…” she said, shaking the nerves out of her hands. Alex spoke again.

“Alright Winn. Just waiting on J’onn, and then we’re ready to take the building.”

“Copy Alex.” Winn responded. “Kara, I’m starting the loop. Move to the back entrance and keep your head down. There’s a janitor about to take out some trash. You’ll be able to slip in that way. Just put on a burst of super speed once you get in the doors. There’s a security guy headed towards the back hall.  Keep an eye on your phone. I’ll mark your safe points. Frist one is the janitor’s closet. You’ve got about ten seconds before he heads out the door, ok?”

“Ok. Moving in.” Kara sped to the back alley and hid behind a dumpster. She wasn’t quite as fast as Barry. Would never admit that to him, but she knew she wasn’t. But she WAS faster than Clark. And if she pushed it, fast enough to be invisible to the naked eye for at least a few seconds. It would be enough. She heard the door crack open, gritted her teeth, and moved The janitor was frozen, a step from the door, trash up over his shoulder. And the door was still open slightly. Kara zipped past him and into the room that Winn had marked. She caught a breath as she heard footsteps turn down the hallway. As soon as the thug and the janitor had passed, Winn directed her to the next location.

Within the span of a few minutes, she was able to work her way to the top floor. There were a couple of dicey moments, but she managed to avoid being seen by any of the men that Lex had hired. She was hiding in an empty office now, under a desk, adjacent from Lena’s office. She x-rayed through the desk. There was another hired goon pacing the floor. Jess was at her desk. She just needed Lena’s door to be opened. It was shut, and there was no way to open it or close it quickly without making too much noise.

“Mr. Schott, I am moving on to the last bomb location. All the others are disabled, and being removed by DEO teams as we speak.” J’onn said over a rushing noise. Clark’s voice now.

“Lex is coming out of the front doors. There’s still the security transfer at the gate, and it will take him a bit to walk there. But J’onn, if you can, please hurry. Every minute he’s out and has more access, Lex will only get more dangerous.”

“Understood Kal-El.”

Kara held her breath. Jess stood up.

“Winn.” She whispered. “I think I might have a window.” Jess walked to the door. Kara’s eyes flitted to the thug. He was turning away, back down the hallway. This was it. Come on. Come on-

Jess cracked open the door, tilting into Lena’s office. Kara tried to focus on what she was saying, but all she could hear was the catch in Lena’s chest. The way she didn’t respond verbally. The way she shook her head to the question. Jess leaned out of the office.

Go.

Kara moved so fast she was sure in those few seconds she might have ACTUALLY given Barry a run for his money. She was through the door and then it was shut behind her.

Lena was looking down at some papers on her desk. Kara’s heart was beating fast. She could hear Jess walking off down the hall. Kara took off her cap. At the movement Lena looked up.

Her eyes widened in surprise. Kara put a finger to her lips. Lena started to panic. She shook her head.

“You have to go. You can’t be here. I…I don’t want to see you Kara. I’m…I’m not seeing anyone from the press.” Kara approached as Lena scrambled to put a mask of blank emotion back up. The CEO stood. Her hands were shaking. Kara raised her own gently. She kept her voice low.

“It’s ok. It’s ok Lena. We got your message.” A crack in Lena’s exterior as she took a sharp breath in. Kara could see the relief in the corners of her eyes. Then panic again. “The transmitter, all the corporate cameras, they’re on a loop. I’m here to keep you safe while we take out the rest of the bombs.” Kara explained quickly. “He can’t see. He can’t-“ Lena’s breath was coming out quick now, and her hands raised to cover her eyes.

She started to cry. All of the emotion she’d pent up, trickling out. Kara was afraid she might fall because she was swaying badly,  so she reached out a hand and set it gently against Lena’s arm. Trying to steady her. “It’s ok.”

“I’m sorry…I’m…”

“What are you apologizing for?” Kara asked, stepping forward, closing the gap between them, and Lena fell into her embrace, shoulders sagging in sheer exhaustion. Too much. Too much weight.

“I’m sorry…” her voice was gravelly and quiet with her head buried in Kara’s shoulder. “I’m sorry…” Her breaths were coming out in sobs. Kara didn’t understand.

“It’s ok. Hey…it’s ok.” She soothed. “Nothing to be sorry for…You…Think of all the people you saved Lena?”

Lena pulled back, looking away. Her voice was overcome, watery.

“I’m…I’m sorry for everything that’s hurt you…and your family…I’m sorry…I’m sorry... I’m sorry my brother tried to…tried to kill your cousin…and my mother kidnapped you…God...Kara...I'm...I'm so sorry...”

“Lena…” Kara came closer again, but didn’t put her arms around Lena. Didn’t want her feeling trapped. “It’s not y-“

“And…I…I’m sorry I couldn’t…couldn’t be my own hero…” Lena let out a choked laugh at that. “That I had to drag you into all of this…” She looked down, broken arm crossed tightly over her ribs. Hunched slightly. What was Lena talking about?

“Lena…you’re…one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.” Kara said, and she meant it. She wished Lena would meet her eyes. “You…risked everything to protect people. Even before all of this. With your mother? With the party? You were thinking about how to protect people. You…are a hero. And being one doesn’t mean you don’t get to ask for help…” Lena glanced up, face broken, tears making her eyes red. Kara smiled at her. A sad smile. She wished Lena could see herself the way Kara did. She was brave. And smart. And good. She had so much hope in her despite everything. Kara wished Lena could see those things. Lena sniffed, trying to hide her emotion away again.

“I…uh…I’m really tired.” Kara nodded, letting out a breath.

“Yeah…Yeah. I bet. It’s ok. Ok? As soon as the last bomb is disabled, your brother will be taken into custody, and then I’m going to take you to the DEO, and there's a surgeon there who is on stand-by ready to take out the transmitter, ok?” Lena’s breath hitched and her face distorted. A hand ghosted over the back of her head, and when it was back by her side, Kara saw her fingers clench. “We’ll get rid of it. And you'll be... " Lena nodded, jaw clenched, tears threatening again.

“I…I…” Kara could tell she was trying not to fall apart. “I just…I want…I want…” Her fists clenched again and she looked away.

“I know.” Kara said. She put a reassuring hand on Lena’s shoulder. “It’s ok. You’re gonna be ok. I’m here.  You're not alone. Everything is-“

Kara’s earbud suddenly screeched at an inhuman sound and she gripped her ear in discomfort.

“Ahg!”

At the same time Lena fell against her desk, crying out in pain.

“Lena! Lena what’s wrong?” Kara moved to catch Lena. She held her as Lena’s body curled in on itself, in clear agony.

“Ka-Kara…G-Go!” Lena forced out between gritted teeth. “…gh…fly!”

“What’s-“ And then Kara felt it. A pain that started all over her skin, and seeped inwards too quickly, curdling inside her, making her blood feel like it was boiling. She fell too, to Lena's side, as the hurt took over.

Lena was shaking too much as Kara looked back towards the door. A figure was standing there.

Lex.

He was holding a gun in one hand, and in his other, Kara saw a green bullet.

He rolled it between his fingers and stepped closer. Kara felt like she was being lit on fire. This felt worse. Worse than any other kryptonite she’d encountered.

“L-Lex...Lex d..ugh…don’t-“ Lena’s voice next to her. Pleading. Lena looked like she was being ripped apart.

“You’re…k-killing her…” Kara groaned to Lex as she tried stop her own body from spasming.  Lex was smiling down at her.

“She’ll live. I’ll make sure of that. I want her to watch.”

He leaned down, his pale and cold eyes staring dead into Kara’s.

“I want her to watch as I kill you Supergirl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a bit longer to put up than I was expecting guys. My migraine came back with a vengeance, so I was trying to sleep it off. 
> 
> And sorry about the cliffhanger. Again. Except not really. #sorrynotsorry. 
> 
> I love a cliffhanger.
> 
> Also, I'm on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me, and/or hound me with messages telling me to write if it gets too long between chapters. [My Tumblr](http://thattallnerdybean.tumblr.com/)


	17. Luthor

Clark focused on Lex below. He was just about through the security gate. There was a faint crackle in his earbud.

“Winn, everything alright?”

“Yeah, must just be the earbuds picking up some weird feedback. Everything looks fine on this end…I think? Let me-”

“J’onn, how is the last bomb coming?”

“I’m nearly finished disabling it. Just a few more wires.”

Clark held his breath.

Lex stepped through the gate as Clark watched from high above. The billionaire was met by lackeys, who immediately handed him a cellphone. Lex looked up. Right at Clark.

“The final bomb has been disabled!” J’onn’s voice.

Too late.

Lex had grabbed one of the lone security guards from nearby and was pulling him towards the waiting helicopter.

“Winn!” A voice crackled in Clark’s ear as he slammed down behind Lex. Alex’s voice. “Winn we moved in on the building housing the servers, but Maggie found another bomb. It’s wired to blow as well! There’s a clock, less than three minutes! We have to get these servers out of here. Superman we need y-“

“Dealing with a situation at Stryker’s Island. Lex took a hostage.” Clark kept his voice low and calm, staring at the man whom Lex currently had in a chokehold. Gun against his temple. A bead of sweat ran down the man’s face.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Cold sweat was beading on Kara’s arms as she struggled to sit up. Her earpiece was silent. Lex kicked her in her side, forcing her away from Lena. Kara groaned and looked up at the man.

“Like the kryptonite? It’s my own special mixture. Pure. Refined. Took me years to get it just right. Not much left for people these days. But this was waiting for me when I got out. I’ll figure something out for your cousin.”

“H-How…How did you?” She could see Lena out of the corner of her eye. Hold on Lena. Hold on. If she could stall…If…

Lex kicked her again. His shoe caught her jaw and Kara felt the unsettling metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

“You know, it never ceases to amaze me. You so called heroes. So predictable. You creatures who don’t play by any of the rules of this world. You beings who defy gravity. You just don’t have the imagination to think that someone might not play by the rules back. Well, it’s only fair. I got out last night, girl of steel. Not hard when you’ve got cash to throw around. Grease a few wheels, and presto, I walk a free man a whole day early. And no one is the wiser because for some reason you all believe in these systems. These institutions that are built on nothing but lies.” Lex inspected the bullet in his hand again. “I plan for everything. And I suspected as much as I threatened my sister, she would try to work around it.”

“B-ut…ugh…Superman he’s watching y-you…at Strykers?” Kara focused. Grinding the words out. Distract him. Stall. Stall. She focused as hard as she could on Lex. Where’s the remote? She had to get Lena out of here. Her x-ray vision failed her. Flickering in a nauseating way and she had to close her eyes momentarily.

“He IS watching me. Well, kind of.”

“How?” Kara spat out again, ignoring the bile in the back of her throat.

“Well. Let’s just say, as much as I dislike you invaders, you do have your skills. Not hard to control some of you either.” The rouse donned on Kara.

“Ughh… you’re…you’re using a Durlan.” They were a race of shapeshifters. If he had one wired like Lena…it wouldn’t be hard to blackmail them into doing whatever he wanted.

“BINGO. And people say you’re the slow one in the family. I’m sure your cousin has his hands full with a little situation right about now anyways. And the rest of your teams out there. Your little Martian friend with the bombs. The other team infiltrating the warehouse?” Kara shook her head, trying to ignore the ringing in her ears. “I’ll admit, it would have been a good plan. But I will ALWAYS be one step ahead of you. And your cousin. Because I am the rightful heir to this world Supergirl. You, your cousin. All the others who came here. You don’t belong. You’re a plague on this planet. You act like gods, but you’re the opposite. And I will cleanse Earth until only man is left.”

 “So kill me.” Kara growled. Her eyes skittered to Lena. Lena was nearly still, arms twitching, face twisted in pain. Kara swallowed, trying to will her body to ignore the pain.

“Patience. Patience.” Lex held the bullet closer and Kara shrank in agony.  Lex stepped back and Kara gulped in a greedy breath. “You see I’d really like to capture this moment on camera. Not only for me, and my edification, but for your cousin, and my sister too. Think I’ll replay it over and over…and over…and over AND OVER. Until she realizes what a mistake it was to ever cross me. What a mistake it was to ever care about some distorted being not from this world.” Kara could hear Lena bite back an animal like cry.

“Nghh…L-Lex...please…I’m s-sorry…” After switching on a camera on the back coffee table, Lex approached his sister. He grabbed her by the back of the neck, pulling her face close to his.

“It’s a little late for sorry sis.” Kara watched as Lena’s arm intertwined around his, gripping his wrist. Her hands were shaking badly as the transmitter wreaked havoc on her nerves.

“Please…p-please…It’s him you want…please…let her g-go.” Kara swallowed, knowing what she was trying to do. Lena was delaying. She was just wasting time now. Like she was. Hoping for someone to come and help them.

“Lena. Lena. It’s ALL of them.” He snarled. He threw her back to the ground and she curled up, closing her eyes from the effort. “But you’re right. I have…a score to settle with him in particular. Because he made it personal. And that’s why I have to kill Supergirl first. Well, that and you really do need to pay for your crimes against this family.” Lex turned back to Kara. “Time to go Supergirl.” He loaded the gun. Kara took in a deep breath. Even with the gun obstructing the kryptonite partly, it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t hope to move fast enough.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Clark stared hard at the two men in front of him. The guard was becoming more nervous by the second. Out of habit in an impossible situation Clark x-rayed what was in front of him. He frowned, his muscles tensing. Lex…something wasn’t right.

 

____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

“Guys, there’s a problem!” Winn’s voice in Alex’s ear as she gripped one of the servers in her arms. They were massive.  Forty seconds left on the charge. They needed to get clear of the building. Maggie was behind her, letting out a groan as she attempted to run with a server of her own. She’d refused to exit the building with the others and had gone back with Alex. There were at least ten other servers still inside. “That blip earlier was bugging me, so I was trying to dig into it, and we’ve lost Kara from the feed. And something hacked back…They’ve looped our feeds. I can’t tell what’s happening in there. I’m blind. I-“ J’onn appeared in front of her and Maggie. The three of them looked out across the bay. L-Corp was on the other side of the waterfront…and the city, and J’onn wasn’t nearly as fast as Kara. They’d never be able to-

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Kara stared up at Lex.

No one was coming.

She was going to die.

Her heart thudded in her chest.

Lex smiled at her, and she looked away. First at the camera. She swallowed and gave it a nod. No time for words. Live. Be true. She hoped the others would understand. She hoped Alex…

She looked back at Lena. Lena who she wanted so badly to be able to save. Who she couldn’t now.

“…Lena?” Lena managed to look at her. “I… I…” Lex let out a disgusted sigh and rolled his eyes hard, but Kara kept her eyes on Lena. Didn’t want Lex’s coldness to be the last thing she saw.

The corners of Lena’s mouth twisted into a slight smile, and she blinked at Kara.

“I know.” Her voice was clear.

And then there was an explosion of movement that Kara didn’t understand in her pain addled brain.

Lena was on her feet.

The remote was where she’d been laying.

She was in front of Lex.

In front of the gun.

Struggling with it.

A gunshot.

And she fell in front of Kara.

There was quiet.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Clark shifted on his feet. He had heard Winn. But if he left- If he left this man would die. And there was no way of knowing what was happening at L-Corp. He had to stay and save this man. Here and now. That was all he knew. He prayed to Rao Kara would be alright. If he could just-

The Lex in front of Clark was rippling. And Clark finally realized.

He was a shapeshifter.

Radiation.

Radiation would weaken him. If he could aim a burst of heat vision…without the heat…it might.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Kara pulled in another breath. Trying to make sense of what was happening. The effects of the kryptonite were weaker… But Lena…

Lex was staring in disappointment at the prone form at his feet.

“Always had to play the hero. Just can’t do as your told. Couldn’t support your family.”

“N-n…not my family.” Lena’s voice sounded coated with moisture. Wrong. She was coughing. But she was alive. Kara’s heart leapt and she struggled against gravity. Lex stepped over the both of them.

“No. No I suspect not to you. But whether you like it or not, stealing that remote? Was the most Luthor move you could have made. I hope that when death finds you? And it will. The both of you. You remember what your last name is. You’ll always be a Luthor.” There was a screech in Kara’s radio that made her shake her head as she managed to fight her way to her knees.

“I believe that’s my cue. Be sure to tell your cousin hello when I send him into the afterlife Supergirl.” And Lex was gone. Stepping off onto Lena’s balcony. Kara could make out the overwhelming rush of a chopper close by, but all she could see was Lena. And the blood. She had to…Had to stop the blood.

_Thump thump._

Even with the proximity to the kryptonite, Lena’s heartbeat somehow found it’s way to Kara’s ears.

_Thump thump._

She rested her shaking hands on the wound and pressed.

They both let out cries of pain.

_Thump … thump._

Kara pulled back her hands. It burned. Too close. Too much kryptonite.

Lena panted, and looked at Kara.

 “K-Kara…get out of …here…”

_Thump … thump._

Kara shook her head. Her throat was thick, from pain, from the tears that were making their way from her eyes.

“I’m not…Not leaving you. Not leaving you alone.” She got out. She gritted her teeth and pressed her hands to Lena’s wound. The pain reverberated through her hands.

_Thump … thump._

Lena’s eyes closed.

“Go…go..” her voice was broken, pleading, “…w-world..nghh…needs you…”

_Thump…_

 “It needs...n-needs you too...I...I...n...”

The world was darkening around Kara.

Lena’s heart stuttered.

Quiet.

Kara fell forward.

Quiet.

…

Quiet.

…

Then sudden noise.

Shouting. Rough hands. Pulling her away from Lena. She had to- Lena-she needed to-

“Ngh…No…”

Quiet.

“…No.”

Quiet.

“L-Lena.”

Quiet.

Darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...I'm just gonna...leave this here.
> 
> So funny story related to all this, my migraine was going away, I was feeling great, and then I was at work, and I was up on a ladder putting some stuff away, and a pack of heavy canvases fell right on my head. Lol. Clearly the universe wants my head to be in pain right now. So sorrrrrrrry if any of this was in any way incoherent. I apologize. 
> 
> Next chapter will most likely be coming sometime Wed-Thurs, unless I get some time tomorrow!
> 
> Also, I'm on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me, and/or hound me with messages telling me to write if it gets too long between chapters. [My Tumblr](http://thattallnerdybean.tumblr.com/)


	18. Sting

Kara cracked open an eye. Too bright. She closed them and moaned. It felt like she had a hangover. Like that time Mon-El had convinced her to drink at the alien bar. But everything hurt a bit more. Stinging pain.  Had she been drinking? She’d been having some kind of nightmare…Lex had gotten out of prison…and Lena had-

She sat straight up, opening her eyes against the brightness, and let out a hiss when her hands hit the table. She pulled them in tight and closed her eyes for a moment again. Trying to steady herself against a wave of nausea. She felt a hand set on her shoulder.

“Kara? Kara sweetie?”

“Eliza?” Her throat felt gravelly. She squinted against the glare of the sun lamps. Her foster mother’s expression was gentle. She felt her hair being smoothed to the side. “Mggh…Everything hurts…” she mumbled.

“You sustained exposure to a particularly pure form of kryptonite.” Kara could feel the pain ebbing the worst in her hands. They were wrapped in bandages. She realized she was in her suit. She’d been wearing it underneath her Kara Danvers clothes. “You should heal with time, but I’m sure it doesn’t feel pleasant for now.”

“Lena?” Kara’s eyebrows were scrunched, searching her foster mother’s face. “Is she?” Eliza didn’t answer.

“…Kara…sweetie…”

“Is she ok?” Kara pressed.

“She’s…still with us…but…” Kara was already swinging her legs to the side. “Kara you need to lay back down. You’re too weak, and she’s still in post-op.” Kara fought against Eliza’s arms, but exhausted after merely a few seconds, had to lay back.

“Did they…”

“They were able to remove all of the kryptonite and stop the bleeding.”

“And the transmitter?” Eliza smoothed Kara’s hair again, avoiding an answer. “Eliza…”

“…They were able to remove it.” Eliza finally said.

“So what’s the problem?”

“They’re…They’re a little worried it might have caused permanent damage. Removing it, was complicated, and with her body weak from the blood loss…”

“But she’s ok. She’s alive? She’ll get out of post-op and-“ Please. Just tell me she’ll be ok. Her mind was pleading, but the words wouldn’t fall from her lips.

“…They’re worried she might not regain cognitive function. Or if she does, that the continued nerve damage she was subjected to…might have lasting effects.” Kara swallowed. She nodded.

“When…When can I go see her?”

“Give yourself a little time. You’ve been unconscious the whole last day. At least until you can stand on your own. Lena should be out of post-op soon.” Kara didn’t like it, but considering she could barely sit up at the moment, she didn’t push it… But she wanted to be there. Needed to see that Lena was alive…needed to…

Suddenly she remembered something else.

“Is everyone else ok? Alex and J’onn? Clark? Lex…he said…”

“Everyone is fine sweetie. There were a few situations, but they were all handled.” Kara nodded, letting out a breath. “Alex was here, of course. Wouldn’t leave your side. But as soon as she knew your vitals were looking normal, she went to work on the servers they recovered with Maggie and Winn. They didn’t manage to get them all, but the ones they did recover should provide vital information on Cadmus. And Clark and J’onn are out on patrol. Making sure everyone stays safe while you’re out of commission.”

“Did Clark get the Durlan?” Eliza nodded.

“He was able to, after a standoff.”

“But Lex…”

“In the wind I’m afraid.”

“Who came then? J’onn?” Kara’s eyes were squinted. Everything was so hazy. Eliza shook her head.

“J’onn was at the server site with Alex… Actually, they’ve been waiting to see you.”

“They?” Eliza was glancing up, and Kara followed her sight line. Mon-El and James were standing in the doorway.

“Good to see you back in the land of the living Supergirl.” Mon-El grinned, and stepped into the room. James smiled too, leaning against the doorframe, hands in his pockets.

“Were you guys staked out in L-Corp or something? How did…”

“Uh, well, Winn contacted us during the planning phase. He was worried about you going in alone, with the teams so spread out, so he had us in the opposite building. Just in case.” James finally stepped forward. “Looks like it was a good thing.”

“What did you do? Camera flash your way to the top floor?” Kara said dryly, teasing him.

“Actually…”

“More of a zip-line kind of situation.” Mon-El butted in. “Well not me. I jumped the gap. I might not have your flight, but that doesn’t mean I can’t leap tall buildings in a single bound when I need to.” Kara was looking incredulously at James.

“You zip-lined to L-Corp? James… that’s so dangerous…I mean Mon-El, at least he has some super-strength, but…” The daxamite jumped back in.

“He had his suit on Kara, he was protected. We took out so many guards-” James had a look like he was going to strangle Mon-El, and Eliza sensing the tension had backed away. Kara raised her eyebrows.

“Excuse me? Suit?”

“…I’m…Guardian.”

Well. That was certainly new information.

“You…You’re Guardian.” Kara said, looking James over. Of course he was. The lead-lined suit suddenly made a lot of sense. James looked nervous. Mon-El leaned in, clearly excited by his first real outing as a hero.

“I don’t have a name yet, but Winn did have a suit ready to go for me, he designed it based on what he learned about Da-“

“Thank you.” Kara interrupted the babbling Daxamite. “Both of you.” James looked surprised. He let out the breath he’d clearly been holding. Kara reached out an arm to him and he leaned in. She hugged him briefly and then smacked his shoulder. Hard. She ignored the pain in her hand.

“Ahg!” James recoiled, but his face was still light. “What the hell was that for, you just-“

“THAT’s for not telling me you were Guardian.” She smacked Mon-El too. He flinched and grabbed his arm.

“I haven’t kept any secrets from you!”

“That’s for…I don’t know, but I’m sure you’ve done something annoying or dangerous this week. And I’m also sure you have dozens of secrets you’ve kept from me.” Mon-El stopped, tilted his head and looked into the distance. He glanced over at James and nodded.

“That’s…that’s fair.” He said, and James chuckled.

“Yeah. Yeah I guess it is.” He turned back to Kara, whose face had turned solemn again.

“Seriously though. Thank you. I wouldn’t be here without you…and Lena… She wouldn’t be here either.” Mon-El was looking at her strangely now. He stood, a funny smile on his face.

“Well. I should really be going. I need a drink after all that. I’m glad you’re alright Kara.”

“Stay out of trouble will you?” Kara called.

“Can’t make any promises.” His eyes twinkled and he was gone. James was still sitting on the edge of Kara’s bed though. He looked thoughtful to Kara.

“What?”

“Just…glad you’re alright.” Kara tilted her head. There was something he wasn’t saying.

“James.”

“I just…I didn’t see it.”

“What?”

“Lena. You saw it though. You told me she was different than her brother…and I didn’t want to believe it. Because I saw what Lex put Clark through. But you saw something in Lena. And you were right. She is different.” Kara looked away. There was quiet a moment. “Go figure right? A Luthor and Super, risking it all to protect each other?” Kara swallowed, and her hand gripped his.

“I…I hope she’ll be ok. James…she…”

“I didn’t see that either. Or I didn’t understand it.” James smiled. A conflicted smile.

“Didn’t see what?”

“…Just how much she means to you.”

And there it was.

James said the words she’d been afraid to say. Afraid to hardly think.

James’ expression was soft, kind. Understanding. And Kara was tearing up.

She didn’t understand why Lena meant so much to her. Didn’t really know how to verbalize…

“She…” her voice cracked, and she trailed off.

“It’s just something. Isn’t it?” James said and he gave her hand a squeeze. “You like her.” And those words were even more terrifying. And Kara was glad it was James here. James her friend. James who knew her well. Glad it wasn’t Winn because he probably would have been loud and over the top about it before immediately starting to plan a wedding or something. Glad it wasn’t Mon-El because he wouldn’t have been able to be so delicate about it all. Glad it wasn’t Alex, because she didn’t want to …to…steal from Alex and even thinking this…it felt like intruding on something that was firmly Alex’s...even though she knew it was different...but still... And glad it wasn’t Eliza either, because…she couldn’t imagine having this conversation with Eliza… and she suddenly understood Alex’s many panic attacks leading to Thanksgiving.

She’d give anything for one of those alien alcohol shots at the moment.

“Yeah…” her voice was fractured, broken, and she was trying to hold back her emotion. Hurt that she couldn’t be there with Lena right now. Confusion. So much confusion. And so much happiness. A lightness that made her feel like she was floating. Warmth. She needed…

James nodded.

“I’m sure…I…I hope she pulls through. You both… if anyone deserves something good…it’s the two of you, you know?” Kara was trying to keep herself from crying.

“James…” She pulled herself into a sitting position, and embraced him again. He hugged her back, careful, but fully, and Kara sank into it. “Thank you.”

“Just so you know, Clark’s gonna lose it.” He said a second later, breaking the tension. They leaned back. “I mean, he’ll be all polite and Midwestern about it. But he is going to lose it. So you owe me in advance for my phone bill next month.”

“What, Guardian doesn’t have a discretionary fund for his superhero data plan?” she teased.

“Unlike you, Ms. DEO, I am a hero on a budget, so no.”

“I’m sure Winn will sort something out for you. Because I’m assuming he IS involved in your heroics. Isn’t he?” James nodded.

“Kinda sort of, yeah.” Kara smacked his shoulder again. “What was that for?!”

“Make sure he stays in the van!”

“Of course! Do I look crazy to you Kara? That is rule ONE of the New Superfriends. Winn stays IN THE CAR. AT ALL TIMES.” Kara squinted. "HE actually made that rule."

“Good. Just make sure it stays that way.”

“I swear on pizza AND potstickers.”

“Hmmph. Uh-huh.”

“Kara?” Eliza was leaning into the doorway with a clipboard. “Lena is out of post-op. Whenever you’re feeling up to it, you can go see her. Just…take it easy. You are still healing yourself.” Kara flexed her hands and bit back a hiss of pain. She felt stronger than when she’d woken up, but wasn’t sure if she’d be able to make it on her own yet. James glanced towards the hall.

“Want me to walk you over?” Kara bit her lip, looking towards the hall too. She nodded.

“If you don’t mind?” There was something unsaid still as James studied her face. Kara stared back. For whatever reason things hadn’t ended with them together. But there was acceptance there, between the two of them in this moment. Understanding. And there was that kindness. That friendship that would remain. He nodded.

“Of course not…” James offered her a steady hand with a knowing look, “Can’t have the girl of steel faceplanting after all.” As he helped her stand, Kara could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She hoped…she hoped…

A few hallways down, and a couple pauses to rest, and they found themselves in front of a different medical room. Kara pulled in a deep breath.

“You ready?” James said. Reassuring. Steady. Kara nodded.

He opened the door, and helped her inside.

Lena looked fragile and small. Eyes closed. So many wires. So many machines surrounding her. But as soon as the door opened, Kara could hear it.

Slow.

Weak.

But there.

There again.

_Thump… thump._

James pulled a chair up to Lena’s bedside.

_Thump… thump._

Kara sat, and James rested his hand on her shoulder for a second before letting himself out.

_Thump… thump._

She reached out a hand and took Lena’s. The one that wasn’t in a cast. She ignored the sting from holding it, and the coldness of Lena's hand. Kara could feel the way the blood was flowing through her veins. Each pulse meant that she was alive.

_Thump… thump._

“I’m here. I’m here Lena. You’re not alone. I’m here.”

_Thump… thump._

"I'm here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooops, I was gonna take the day off from writing but couldn't help myself.
> 
> As always comments make me super happy!
> 
> Also, I'm on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me, and/or hound me with messages telling me to write if it gets too long between chapters. [My Tumblr](http://thattallnerdybean.tumblr.com/)


	19. Wake Up Call

Maggie shook Kara’s shoulder gently.

“Hey…Kara? Wake up Kara.”

“Mmmg?” Kara sat up, from where she’d been laying against Lena’s hospital bed. Her hair was lopsided and slightly sticking to her face. She blinked at the light filtering through the windows across the wall from Lena’s bed. “What time is it?”

“Just after seven.” Maggie said. She handed Kara a cup of coffee. “Any change?” Kara glanced at Lena as she took the cup. She shook her head.

“No…Uh…nothing.”

It had been almost a week since everything had happened. And Lena still hadn’t woken up. Maggie’s eyebrows scrunched downwards, studying Kara. The girl looked devastated.

“She could still pull through though, right?” Kara didn’t say anything, and Maggie set a hand on her shoulder. “Your sister is gonna be here soon. Ok? She was out with J’onn late last night, following up on a few leads. She asked me to check in on you.”

“Hmm?” Maggie watched as Kara managed to tear her gaze away from Lena. The hero’s eyes seemed surprised and confused. “…Sister? I…uh…” Maggie’s head tilted. It had been almost three weeks now since Kara had accidentally told her she was Supergirl. Surely in all that time with Maggie being around them, calling her Kara, the hero would have remembered-

“Alex?” Maggie said. “You know. Your sister. Girl that I’m dating? Badass DEO agent? Came out to you?” Kara was staring blankly.

“Wait… when did she tell you?”

“Aww…sweetie.” Maggie let out a sad laugh. She rubbed Kara’s shoulder. She looked at Lena, face growing more serious. “Uh.. YOU kind of actually let it slip the night that…” Kara was watching Lena too now. “…The night that Lena went missing.” Kara’s mouth opened slightly, still staring at the woman in the bed, and Maggie watched her try and pull the memory up. She gave Kara’s shoulder a squeeze. “It’s ok. You were…” Maggie squinted as Kara glanced back at her, “…pretty emotional that night…and it’s been kind of a rough time since then…huh?”

She could see the emotion etched in Kara’s face. Damn, that girl had it bad. Maggie wondered if she even knew. The Danvers did seem to be excellent at ignoring their feelings after all.

“You know if…you ever want to talk? I’m not great at it, granted, but if you ever need to…about anything? As your sister’s girlfriend, I’ll give it my best shot. Kara opened her mouth, but then stuttered.

“A-Alex, hey.” Maggie swiveled her head and smiled as her girlfriend walked through the door.

“Hey…” Alex looked tired. But Maggie knew she wasn’t really going to get proper sleep until they’d exhausted every resource on the server. She kissed Maggie’s cheek, and Maggie handed her the other cup of coffee she’d been holding. Alex took a sip, and sat on the edge of Kara’s chair. “Any change?” Kara shook her head. Alex glanced at the readouts on the screens. “Her pulse seems a little stronger today if nothing else.” She frowned as she looked at Kara. “How are YOU doing?” Maggie watched as Kara sheepishly folded her hands into her lap. They were still bandaged.

“Uh…I’m ok.”

“Hands still bothering you?” Kara didn’t answer.  Alex’s eyes flitted to Maggie’s, eyebrows raised. “Earth to Kara. Come in Kara.”

“Huh?” The blonde’s head whipped back towards them. Maggie saw the confusion on Alex’s face as to why Kara was still so out of it.

“Are you ok?” Alex asked. Maggie shook her head. Come on Danvers. Put it together.

“I uh…I don’t know.” Kara turned away again, and Alex shot Maggie a confused look. Maggie stood, and grabbed Alex’s arm.

“Listen Kara, we’ll be back, I just…need to go over some things with Alex ok? Maybe we can bring you some breakfast afterwards?” Kara didn’t respond again, and honestly at this point Maggie wondered why she was bothering. “Ok, well like I said, we’ll be back.” Silence. Maggie pulled Alex out into the hall out of earshot.

“Ahg, Maggie, what the hell? And also, WHAT is going on with Kara, she’s been completely out of it for weeks now, even before the whole Lex of it all, and I know I’ve been a little preoccupied with trying to track stuff down, but is it me or is she getting worse?”

“Danvers. Babe.” Maggie was smiling at her. “You know…I really care ab-I really …love you. But you are oblivious sometimes.”

“About what?”

“She’s worried about Lena.”

“She’s BEEN worried about Lena, that’s not anything new.” Maggie tilted her head, and put an arm around Alex’s waist.

“No…babe…not like…” Maggie stopped. How was she going to get Alex to understand. “I’m pretty sure Kara likes Lena. Like…like likes.” Maggie made a face at herself, she couldn't believe she'd just phrased it like that. Alex stopped, brow furrowing. “She’s…she’s heartbroken. That’s why she’s so out of it… or at least that’s my theory.”

“But Kara’s never liked girls. She’s never talked about them like that.” Maggie’s eyebrows raised.

“If memory serves Danvers…someone else standing here said the same thing.” Alex went quiet, looking at her sister holding Lena’s hand. “I’m not saying she’s gay…and you know what, maybe I’m reading it super wrong anyways. Kara does seem like a…sensitive kid…and maybe she’s just upset. But to me? I’m pretty sure she likes Lena. She didn’t even realize that she revealed she was Supergirl to me until JUST a few minutes ago. Something big is clearly on her mind.”

“She…” Alex stopped again, thinking. “If she does like Lena, why wouldn’t she tell me?” Maggie rubbed her arm.

“She’s kind of protective of you right?” Alex nodded. “Probably doesn’t want to steal your thunder. She knew coming out was huge for you.” They both paused, looking in on the room. “And listen, again, maybe I’m wrong. But I thought…I’d bring it up, just so you wouldn’t feel blindsided if my intuition is right. Because I know you were lukewarm about Lena to begin with.” Alex nodded again, numbly, and then tilted her head.

“…Oh my God. That night, before Lena turned in her mom…she was going on about looking into Lena’s eyes and knowing she wasn’t guilty…That’s…” Maggie raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah…that’s pretty gay.” Alex looked at her again. “Or bi…or…pan? I don’t know? Or again, maybe it’s straight and completely platonic?” Alex looked away. “…But come on. Even you have to admit…that’s pretty gay, Danvers.” Alex let out a snort and Maggie kissed her cheek, and pulled her in closer.

“Well. If she does like Lena…Lena had better pull through because I can’t watch my sister lose any more people that she cares about.” Alex mumbled. Maggie kissed her softly, brushing a thumb over Alex’s cheek. She felt some of the tension leave Alex’s shoulders, and then swept the short auburn colored hair out of her girlfriend's face.

“Such a good big sis…” she said, letting a rare bit of softness bleed into her voice, smiling at Alex. Alex looked embarrassedly away in return and Maggie squeezed her hand. “Also such a weirdsmobile… You truly are an enigma Alex Danv-“

A loud gasping noise made them both jump and they turned back to the window to catch Lena sitting straight up in bed. She was choking on the breathing tube, and Kara was struggling to keep the brunette from pulling at it or any of the other IV lines or wires and hurting herself.

“Alex?! Alex!” Kara yelled, and they both burst into the room. Maggie went to Lena’s other side, held the arm in the cast steady, while Alex carefully removed the breathing tube and started on the nasogastric tube as Lena thrashed against them. Maggie cringed. She’d been there. A fight with a suspect had left her in a concussive coma for a few days last year. Waking up had been terrifying.

“Easy, easy Lena. It’s ok.” Alex tried to soothe as she finally got the nasogastric tube removed. Lena was coughing, and hunched now, gripping her side.

“...Lena?” Kara asked after a minute. Lena was breathing heavily, and shaking. She wouldn't look at any of them.

Nothing.

“I’ll go get the doctor.” Maggie said to Alex, who was wide eyed, worriedly staring at her sister and the other woman. Maggie gave a last look at Kara, who had a hand hovering near Lena’s shoulder now. Afraid to even touch her. Alex was right. Lena had better be ok. Otherwise this would kill Kara.

She hurried down the hallway, Kara’s voice echoing down it. Saying the same thing Maggie had heard her say for days now.

“It’s ok Lena…it’s ok. You’re safe. I’m here.”

Maggie didn't hear Lena say anything back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was short. But I wasn't going to include this scene and just jump ahead...but then it felt needed, especially with the pace of how I have done the story. Felt like Alex and Maggie needed a little more time in it, especially because...
> 
> (Just so y'all can start preparing) this story is winding down.
> 
> Not everything will be resolved in the end...because hey...that's kind of the nature of life right? But I hope how I end things will be alright. Maybe like 2-ish chapters left? Maybe 3?
> 
> Also, I'm on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me, and/or hound me with messages telling me to write if it gets too long between chapters. [My Tumblr](http://thattallnerdybean.tumblr.com/)


	20. Have Faith

Kara was standing in the corner of the room, letting the doctor, Amelia Hamilton, look Lena over. Alex was closer, on Lena’s other side. Dr. Hamilton was checking her eyes now. Lena seemed unresponsive. She was laying still now, not thrashing anymore, but still quivering occasionally. She wouldn’t make eye contact with any of them or answer the questions Dr. Hamilton was asking. Amelia stepped back, and switched off her flashlight.

Alex and Kara both convened with her near the door.

“It would appear that all of her physical responses are normal. Her body is reacting to stimuli the way it should. Her wounds are healing. And from what I can tell of the readouts, her cognitive function is normal as well. We still can’t determine if there will be lasting effects with her nerves from the transmitter, but now that she’s awake, I can tell you there’s nothing wrong with her brain.”

“But she’s…” Alex started, and Kara was only half listening now. Glancing back at Lena.

“She’s in a state of shock. As far as I can tell completely dissociated… Given all the emotional trauma she’s been through, it’s not entirely unexpected. What Lex did…compounded with all of the physical trauma? It would make sense.”

“Will she ever snap out of it?” Alex asked, and Kara felt her fists tighten. Please. Please. Dr. Hamilton sighed.

“It’s difficult to say…With a normal case of dissociation, I would say yes. I would expect a patient to at some point, usually within a couple of hours or days to exit their dissociative state. But…this is not a normal case. And I’ve never had a patient subjected to what she’s been subjected to.”

Kara swallowed. She remembered when Non attacked her with the Black Mercy…and her state of mind after that. She’d had nightmares for weeks. Woken up crying…screaming. Found herself staring off into space. Found herself off… And even she couldn’t imagine having every part of her life watched like that. Controlled. Not having any kind of autonomy. How damaging that must have been.

“So…there’s really no way of knowing, when…or even if…she will recover from this state. All we can do now is our best to try and make her feel comfortable and safe…” Dr. Hamilton said, looking sadly at Lena.

“Thank you doctor.” Amelia nodded and left Kara and Alex. “Listen Kara…maybe you should go get some rest…or something to eat? You’ve barely left her side in a week. Now that we know she’s up- I can st-“ Kara shook her head.

“It’s ok…I uh…I want…” Kara was tearing up now. She just wanted…she wanted… Alex gave her an unreadable look.

“Ok... It’s ok Kara.”

“Thanks…”

Kara had returned to the chair by Lena’s side when Alex called out to her.

“Hey…uh Kara? Listen…I…” she saw Alex’s eyes dart to Lena. “You know…You know I’ll always love you, right?” Kara’s eyebrows crinkled. “I just…no matter what...” Alex was looking over at Lena again, pointedly now. “I love you…And I just want you to be happy…and so…I just…I really hope she gets better. Because…” Kara could hear Alex’s voice catch. “I know you care about her…and I know she makes you happy…so…yeah…” Alex was nodding now, and Kara didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to respond. Alex walked quickly over, placed a kiss on the top of her head, and then she moved to leave again.

“Alex?” Alex stopped by the door and looked back at her. “…I love you too.” Alex nodded, letting a breath out.

“Good…Good. I’m going to…uh…be with Winn and Maggie working on stuff…if you need me, ok?” Kara nodded and Alex left her alone with Lena now.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

Kara sat up suddenly. It was dark. And she’d fallen asleep against Lena’s hospital bed again. Another sleep. Another nightmare. Her bandaged hands were stinging again.

She looked over at the clock. Just after midnight. Lena was still laying in the bed. Staring up at the ceiling. But she was shivering. Heavy shaking. Not just the slight quivering from earlier. Her teeth were chattering. It did feel a little cooler in the room than earlier, Kara noticed. But then it always felt cooler in the DEO at night. Some weird central AC thing. Not that it bothered her...Without thinking she took off her cape and covered Lena with it. Then she settled back in the chair, rubbing her eyes wearily.

“…Where does…that ...chlorine smell come from?” the sudden sound of Lena’s voice made her jump in her chair. It was quiet and fractured, hoarse and damaged from the breathing tube, but it was real. Kara could barely breathe as she looked at the woman in front of her holding tightly onto her cape. She had it pulled up close to her face. Lena tilted her head slightly to look over, tired, but present, eyes meeting Kara’s. “I…I mean…the crisp air smell I get…and the whole…earthy, grass smell I could see…but…where does the chlorine smell come from?” Kara’s voice cracked. Her whole body felt like it was vibrating.

“It’s…this…special soap that Winn made…to wash it...” Lena nodded.

“That makes sense…”

She frowned suddenly and a hand started to jerk up to the back of her head. Kara noticed her breathing and heartrate pick up rapidly in the same movement, so she stood and carefully caught Lena’s hand, worried the brunette might hurt herself.

“Hey…hey easy…Does it hurt?”

“Is it…Is it…” Lena’s speech was stuttering now, pupils wide in fear. Kara shook her head.

“It’s gone. It’s gone. You’re ok.” She promised, voice soft. “They got it out.” Lena choked back a sob as she nodded, tears welling.

“It’s gone?”

“Yes. It’s gone.” Kara said gravely, holding Lena’s good hand carefully, rubbing a thumb over the top of it.  Lena looked down at Kara’s bandaged hands. She looked pained.

“Your…Your hands…The kryptonite…” Kara shook her head again.

“They’re ok. I’m ok.”

“You should have gone… You got hurt because of me…Should have left me…” Lena’s brow was furrowed, a few tears leaking from the corners of her eyes.

“No…No Lena. You saved me. You saved the whole city. Again. I wasn’t just going to leave you.” It was Lena’s turn to shake her head.

“But you…you mean so much to so many people Kara. That’s why I got in front of that gun…Your life-“ she argued, trying to sit up now.

“You mean so much too!” Kara broke in, quivering. “Rao…Lena…You…You don’t just get to do that. Decide to risk ev-” Kara let out a frustrated breath. “…I mean of course you do…I told you I would respect your decisions and I do…but…at the very least…you need to know how much YOU matter.” Kara was crying now too, couldn’t help it. “You need to know how much I appreciate you for saving me…and how…how ANGRY I am at you for doing what you did… because what if…what if you…Because…I…uh…I…I would…really miss you… I almost…lost…you…and I…I don’t want to lose you Lena. Because…I…”

Because I love you.

But Kara couldn’t finish it. Couldn’t say the words. Couldn’t even look at Lena. Lena had stopped trying to sit up. Was laying still again. Kara felt her hands being pulled forward by Lena’s. She sat on the edge of the bed, and after fighting back a sob for a few breaths she finally managed to look up and meet Lena’s gaze.

“Hey…Hey…” Lena pressed a gentle kiss to Kara’s bare knuckles. Her eyes were soft. Understanding. But then they’d always had that. The two of them. That understanding thing. “…I’m sorry for saving your life Kara.” She murmured. Kara’s chin was quivering, emotion swelling in her chest that made it hard to breathe. She would have laughed if she didn’t feel like she was going to cry again.

“You better be…” Kara mumbled through her distress. And then she leaned forward, hesitating before pressing a soft kiss on Lena’s forehead. She leaned back, taking in the way Lena’s lips were curled into slight smile.

“Mmg..” Lena winced suddenly and Kara felt the other woman tense up. She was immediately on alert.

“What’s wrong? You ok?”

“Hurt…” Lena said. Her voice sounded wary to Kara.

“The doctor…they said that you might have some nerve damage…because of prolonged usage of the transmitter.” Kara’s voice was slightly hoarse as she explained. Rao she hated him. Hated him. Hated that Lena was hurting. Lena nodded, closing her eyes, shaking slightly.

“But it’s-”

“It’s gone…I promise. They saved it. I can go get it to show you…Actually Rao, I should really get Dr. Hamilton so she can-”

“Stay!” Lena’s voice pleading. Her hand gripped Kara’s tight now.

“Ok…It’s ok…”

“You promise it’s…?” Lena’s eyes were scared. And Kara had already said it, but she said it again, trying again to imagine the fear that Lena was feeling, heart aching thinking about it.

“I promise it’s gone. I promise.”

“And you’re…”

“I’m not going anywhere. Dr. Hamilton will be here in the morning anyways. I don’t need to get her now.” Lena nodded, jaw tight, muscles tense.

“Ok…” There was silence a moment. “…Kara…I…I’m scared…”

“I know.” She rubbed the top of Lena’s hand softly, feeling the tremor. “Do you want…Do you want me to hold you?” And Kara could hear the animal like whimper that Lena bit back, and see the outline of her in the dim hospital room, nodding as she tried not to break down. “Ok…it’s ok…” Kara floated up and then positioned herself so she was facing Lena, setting gently down. She pulled the cape over them, and set an arm protectively over Lena as Lena curled into her. “I’m right here. It’s ok.”

She rested her forehead against Lena’s.

A door shut somewhere down the hallway and Lena flinched against her.

“Shhh…it’s ok…it’s ok…” she traced gentle patterns against Lena’s back. After a few minutes, Lena started to relax against her, but was still shaking occasionally. With their foreheads still resting against each other, Kara could blearily make out Lena’s eyes shut almost too tight against the darkness, could feel the muscles in her face tic. The kryptonese fell from Kara’s tongue almost unconsciously, half murmuring, half singing the lullaby as she continued to rub Lena’s back.

“Do fahrosh

Ghed thron rraop

Khutiv el

 

Do fahrosh

Ugem khep shahrrehth

Khutiv el

 

Zeht nim zhagam

Divi nim voikir rraop

Khutiv el

 

Do fahrosh

Dhagiehr gem

Khutiv el

 

Kehp zha udol

Khap nim vot rraop

Khutiv el

 

Kehp zha udol

Khap shovuh rraop

Khutiv el”

 

\-------

 

_Darkness descends_

_It covers you_

_My star_

_Darkness descends_

_Now have faith_

_My star_

_Day will come_

_Light will rescue you_

_My star_

_Darkness descends_

_Travel on_

_My star_

_Have no fear_

_I am with you_

_My star_

_Have no fear_

_I love you_

_My star_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the much deserved fluffy comfort. Y'all are champs for making it through all that angst. As always, comments make me super super happy.
> 
> (Also, I made this lullaby up, but it's actual kryptonese, which is why this chapter took forever. It's really hard to make up a lullaby when you're limited to about 500 known kryptonese words. Haha.)
> 
> Also also, I'm on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me, and/or hound me with messages telling me to write if it gets too long between chapters. [My Tumblr](http://thattallnerdybean.tumblr.com/)


	21. Three More Days

Three more days. Three more days and everything. She was not alone. She’d betrayed her family, again, to do the right thing. And everything.

Maggie visited during the first day, teased her, knew how to lighten the mood when her mind started going down dark paths. Alex was there too, quieter than Maggie, but Lena could see some kind of acceptance behind her eyes now. Some kind of trust there, and she was trying. Asking Lena questions, and Lena could see her chewing on the answers, eyes squinted, trying to figure Lena out. Trying to understand. Lena could see Alex giving her a chance. And even that was everything to Lena.

She met J’onn properly the second day. Learned he’s from Mars. She met James Olsen, again, because of course she’d met him before, him being Superman’s best friend, and a photographer, and her being a Luthor. But he is a good man. He is fair and gracious and respectful. And he, like Alex, tried. And gave her a chance. She met Mike, or rather Mon-El, properly too. Wasn’t surprised to learn he was an alien as well. Wasn’t surprised when he starts hitting on her either, because Kara had warned her he might. Winn popped in and chattered about his latest projects and talked shop with Lena. And Lena appreciated it, because it was science and it was engineering and it was technical and she didn’t have to feel.

The third day she met Eliza Danvers. Eliza who, when Kara fell asleep in the chair that afternoon, braided Lena’s hospital tangled hair for her. Eliza who pulled Lena into a hug when she noticed Lena tearing up, and told Lena she was sorry. Told her she didn’t deserve to have her family do that to her. Eliza who informed her that if she ever needed someone to talk to…about anything daughters should be able to talk to their mothers about…well…she did have experience. And she wrote her phone number in a Get-Well-Soon card with a kitten on it, so Lena had it in case she needed it, and it was unexpected, and Lena didn’t really know how to react, but Eliza was gentle and kind and everything Lena wished Lillian would have been, and she couldn’t help but get attached.

And with her the whole time there was Supergirl…there was Kara. Kara who was there three nights and three days. Kara who gently wiped her tears away when Lena woke up in cold sweats crying. Kara who sang to her in soft, melodic Kryptonese to get her heartrate back to normal. Kara who had quickly picked up on whenever Lena’s nerves would spasm, and held her through the wrenching pain. It was less than the first day…but still happening occasionally. But Kara was there. Supergirl was there. Wrapping them both in the cape, switching the tv on to a comforting murmur in the background, and it still threw Lena on some cognitive level, seeing Supergirl do normal things like text…or watch tv…but with Kara’s strong arms around her she didn’t much care.

After an early dinner on the evening of the third day, Kara sat at the foot of Lena’s bed, hands unbandaged and finally mostly healed, and they both had a cup of egg nog. (Because it was December 28th. And Kara realized that fact today when Eliza was there, and had suddenly been devastated that they had missed Christmas. Though THEN the blonde had realized that Lena had actually woken up on Christmas Eve, and come out of her dissociative state early Christmas morning, and she had grinned while Lena had blushed furiously, and Kara declared it Christmas miracle and begged Alex to bring them some Christmas cookies and some egg-nog. And Lena could tell that Alex must have turned around for a minute while she and Maggie were bringing it, because the egg-nog had at least a BIT of whiskey in it. Not much, not enough to get her drunk, Maggie was probably worried about giving her too much while she was still in the hospital, but it was enough to taste festive, and Lena appreciated it.)

Kara finally took a sip and wrinkled her nose.

“Does this…?” Lena played innocent.

“Does it what?” She kept her eyes wide and blameless and took another sip. Kara narrowed her eyes as she sniffed it.

“…I’m gonna kill Maggie I swear. You really shouldn’t be drinking that!” Kara pleaded, and Lena laughed and took another sip. As she was lowering her cup she felt the familiar jolt of pain down her spine, and Kara was immediately there, cradling her body as she shook, cup already safely on the table. Lena closed her eyes as she gritted her teeth. Everything hurt. But Kara was there…Kara was…The pain finally stopped and she tried to get her ragged breathing under control. She hated the tears that had formed in her eyes. Hated the sob trapped in her chest. Hated…Hated him…Hated them all…Hated that she couldn’t just…Kara was tracing her hand up and down Lena’s back. Her voice was soft. “That one was bad…Are you okay?” Lena nodded against Kara’s shoulder and then pulled away as Kara put her hand to the side of Lena’s face. Kara’s eyes were worriedly checking her over.

“Kara…?”

“Yeah?”

“Lex is…?” Kara suddenly dropped her gaze. “Lex…he’s still out there…isn’t he?” Kara swallowed. Lena hadn’t brought it up yet. Because she hadn’t wanted to know the answer. Because she hadn’t wanted to hear that she wasn’t really safe. Not completely. But she had realized as her nerves were screaming just a moment ago…that even with Kara here…even with all of this warmth and happiness and so many people caring about her…she still didn’t feel…safe…

“Lionel…he was arrested…but Lex…He…He escaped.” Kara’s voice was low. Lena nodded, trying not to panic. Trying to breathe. She had already guessed though…

“And what does everyone else know…what was the public told? I’m sure…if Guardian and an alien vaulted through L-Corp…and a helicopter picked up my brother…and my ...my father was arrested…and I haven’t been there…well…I guess I’m just wondering what everyone’s been told? And I know you’ve been here…so do people think that Supergirl was…” Lena didn’t finish. She was clenching and unclenching her good fist. She didn’t really ask what she really wanted to know.

What does Lex know?

“It’s…It’s been all over the news…night and day.” Kara said. “But no one knows for sure what happened.” Kara fidgeted with her cup. “Just that the government has irrefutable evidence that Lex was responsible for almost bombing the city, kidnapping, …and an incident at L-Corp. The government cleared your name from any kind of involvement…said you were under extreme duress in trying to get Lex out of prison…but there’s a lot of speculation that you’re…dead.” Kara was looking at her now. “And there’s speculation that I’m dead…”

“So he doesn’t know…” Lena looked down. She hated the way her hands were shaking.

“No…” Kara bit her lip. “You could just…disappear... He already thinks you’re dead…We could make you a whole new identity…get you a job somewhere in the tropics or…wherever…and you could just…”

“Are you…going to disappear?” Lena looked up at her, and Kara’s eyebrows quirked, like the blonde hadn’t thought about it.

“I don’t…I don’t know.” And the statement took Lena by surprise. Took her breath for a second. Left her a little heartbroken…because she knew a month ago this wouldn’t have been a question for Kara. Knew that Kara would have answered no immediately.

“Kara…” Kara won’t look at her. “You…” And it finally hit Lena. “You’re hurt…”

“I’m fine.” Kara answered immediately, gripping her hands in tight to her waist. Lena shook her head, and then rested a hand over Kara’s heart.

“You’re hurt.” And Lena could see tears forming in Kara’s eyes. Kara wouldn’t answer her. Looked away. “Kara…You told me…on that balcony…You told me that you had lost…everyone you loved and everyone you cared about. You told me you lost your whole planet.” Her hand shifted to Kara’s cheek. “You were trying to tell me you understood…the pain I was feeling and I think...I mean-I don’t know if you’re feeling that pain right now…or maybe not the pain…but the fear of that pain…Maybe you’re worried about it happening again, especially because…of everything. And if you wanted to disappear…I would understand. Because I haven’t felt a lot of love in my life. But the love I have had and lost…I could understand not wanting to EVER lose love like that again. Because it hurts. God…it hurts doesn’t it?” Supergirl was shaking under her touch now. “You know I would respect you…if you chose to disappear, right?” Kara’s jaw trembled as she finally looked up at Lena. There was another deep furrow in her brow that reminded Lena of that night on the balcony. Her voice was strained. A whisper.

“…Aren’t you afraid…?” Lena nodded.

“Yes…” her own response was just as uneven. She took Kara’s hand in her own. “I…I’m terrified…”

“…But you’re not going to disappear. Are you?” Lena hesitated. God it would be so easy. And maybe the two of them could just…live and…

“I would still never feel safe…it would always just be…wondering if Lex had figured it out. Worrying that people might recognize me…and I just…I…” she swallowed.

“…Can’t live in fear.” Kara finished for her, blinking. Lena remembered telling Kara that months ago. A funny kind of look was on the hero’s face. Lena nodded.

“I’m already hurting…And maybe I’ll keep hurting forever…But I can’t…let him take everything from me…” And a soft kind of smile formed on Kara’s lips now as she looked at Lena. “But if you want to just…go be free from all of this…disappear…I won’t judge you for it. I would understand. Even if other people didn’t. You deserve happiness Kara…And if it takes dis-”

“LenacanIkissyou?” Kara said it all in one breath, interrupting Lena, and Lena just nodded, dumbstruck, and Kara leaned forward and kissed her.

It was the first time they’d kissed.

Sure Kara had given her plenty of forehead kisses the past few days. And Lena had kissed Kara’s hands that first night. But they hadn’t really talked about it. Hadn’t gotten that far. Hadn’t defined anything…and Lena wasn’t even sure that they were anything…because she’d never really been in a relationship. Never dated, never... She only knew that she felt safe around Kara, and didn’t mind when Kara held her, and liked being around her…and she figured at worst Kara didn’t mind being around her too much, at best maybe thought of her fondly, but had tried not assume Kara had any deeper feelings about her…but now Kara was kissing her.

And it was soft. Familiar. And Lena didn’t even realize she had started to cry until Kara was wiping her tears away, and kissing her tenderly again. And then Lena was letting out a watery laugh as Kara rested her forehead against Lena’s. Kara’s voice was almost breathless.

“You can’t have happiness without hope to get you there. And it’s kind of hard to have hope when you hide yourself away out of fear…isn’t it?” Kara said. And her voice was steadier now. More like the Supergirl Lena was used to. “Can’t live in it…Can’t let it overtake you…even if it keeps showing up.” Lena nodded shakily.

“Yeah…”

“Lena I want to be happy…I want to be happy with you. And you’re right. I can’t…we can’t do that…if we just disappear… I can’t leave the city…we can’t…live in hiding…pretending everything is fine when it’s not…”

“So…what do we do…?” Lena said, still tearing up, but smiling. Kara shook her head.

“I don’t…I don’t really know…” A beat. Lena leans forward, and kisses the Kryptonian this time. Meeting that softness. That understanding. They rested foreheads for a moment more. Breath intermingling. And then Lena stirred and kissed above Kara’s heart. She moved back, hand still in Kara’s. A moment of silence. Lena chewed on the words she was about to say…opening and closing her mouth a few times before she finally worked up the courage.

“Can we…Can we go to L-Corp?” Lena watched as Kara stiffened in surprise. “I need to go tonight. I keep having nightmares. And I just…I think that’s the first step I need to take…I need to see it…” Kara’s eyes softened.

“Tonight?” Lena nodded. Kara swallowed as she looked out of the darkened windows. Lena watched as Kara bit her lip and tilt her head.

“Yeah… We can do that. I think…I think it would be good for me too...” And the blonde nodded, resolute now, and leaned forward and kissed Lena’s forehead.

 

 ____-----____-----____-----____-----____

 

An hour later, after Kara got the clearance, after a thorough sweep was done of L-Corp for the millionth time, after J’onn and a team accompanied them in a van because Dr. Hamilton emphatically refused to let Lena be flown there in this stage of her recovery, and after Kara cajoled J’onn into waiting outside, they finally walked through Lena’s office door.

 The whole top floor had already been a mess of investigation tape and glass and broken furniture and Lena would have thought it would have prepared her for the office…but it didn’t.

Everything was in disarray. Torn apart. Probably by teams looking for bugs, or anything else left by Lex. There was tape…and there was blood. So much of it that Lena felt a weight on her shoulders. Had she really bled that much? How was she possibly on her feet right now? Sure she was in pain…a lot of it…but still…it was a lot of blood.

Beside her she heard Kara take a breath.

She walked forward almost automatically, still unsteady and slow on her feet, trying not to aggravate her stitches. She paused for a second when she got closer to the large blood stain by the desk, and then skirted it and exited onto the balcony. She stopped a foot out of the door.

It was colder than a month ago, and Lena was glad that both Kara and Dr. Hamilton had made her wear so many layers.

She pulled the jar out of her coat pocket and looked at it. Inside, the transmitter rattled at the bottom. Kara had gotten it for her. To reassure her when her nerves would jolt. So small. So damaging. So…

Lena glared down at it.

Then she wound up and threw the jar as hard as she could without hurting herself.

Beside her Kara let out a burst of heat vision that Lena had half been expecting, and the jar exploded in the air with a small pop. Eviscerated.

Lena exhaled.

It was gone.

It was gone.

It was finally gone.

Kara’s hand on her shoulder was comforting and the blonde kissed her temple, reassuring her.

“You ok?” Lena nodded.

“Yeah…Yeah I think I am.” Silence a moment as Kara found her hand and gave it a squeeze. Kara was warm by her side. “Maybe tomorrow, you and I…we could go get ice-cream or something ridiculous. You as Supergirl and me as…me…and just...let the press stew on that.” Lena joked, some mischievousness finally back her eyes. And Kara let out a burst of laughter.

“Lena we can’t just…go get ice-cream. First off…it’s December…so if anything we should get hot-chocolate so you don't freeze…and also…I think the press would all spontaneously combust if they found out we were not only both alive, but on a hot-chocolate date.”

“A press statement from me then… And you can go save a bus full of children or something.” She replied, knowing full well there was a twinkle in her eyes. She stepped forward, towards the railing. Behind her she could feel Kara take a sharp breath in. She turned her head back to Kara…to Supergirl…who joined her by the railing after Lena tugged on her hand. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist, and pulled Lena forward so Lena was standing on her boots.

“Lena…may I ki-“ And Lena cut her off this time, kissing Kara before she could get the question out.

When she opened her eyes, she realized they were floating a few feet off the ground, and Supergirl’s cape was fluttering gently in the icy December air. Kara had a worried look in her eyes as she looked out into the city though, and Lena felt the hero’s arms tighten ever so slightly around her. She could feel all the unanswered questions still hanging in the air around them. Could feel that twinge of fear. Could feel the loss just waiting to destroy them both.

But she raised an eyebrow when Kara looked back at her, lips curled into a slight playful smile.

“Don’t worry Supergirl. I won’t let you fall.” And Kara looked back at her, cheeks pink now, and eyes that Lena knew understood exactly what she meant. Always understanding. They had each other. They wouldn't let the fear or the hurt win. Kara's warmth radiated out, making the chill in the air disappear. And Lena could see the hope flickering in her. Still there. Still alive. And for the first time she could remember...Lena couldn't think of a thing she wanted or needed that was more than this.

Lena could feel the happiness in the look that Kara gave her.

Could see the Kryptonian’s eyes sparkling themselves.

Could hear the love when Kara replied,

“Oh I think it’s a little late for that Ms. Luthor… I’ve already fallen for you completely.”

______

_**The End.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah...  
> I really hope you guys enjoyed this story...because I really enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I haven't been doing too great lately (health wise etc), and I haven't written anything in forever, and writing this was just really...good for me. It was nice to write again, and you guys' reception was so warm and encouraging and I just really appreciate it. 
> 
> I know a lot of you have asked, but I don't at the moment have any plans for any further story based off this continuity. Which is not to say that an idea won't strike me tomorrow, haha, but just don't currently have any thoughts about it. My migraines are kind of bad right now, so I may need to take some time to try and figure that out before diving into something new.
> 
> But just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for reading. Thank your for your comments. Thank you for your drawings. I appreciate it all so, SO much.  
> -August
> 
> Also, I'm on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me! [My Tumblr](http://thattallnerdybean.tumblr.com/)
> 
> (Also also, just thought I'd throw this list of songs out there, because these were kind of my inspiration/playlist while I was writing this story, and I thought maybe you guys would like them too!  
> For Lena-"Wash" by Bon Iver, "When The Sky Fell" by SHEL, "Night Terrors" by Wild Sweet Orange  
> For Kara - "Fair Fight" by The Fray, "Comes and Goes (In Waves)" by Greg Laswell, "Cosmic Love" by Florence + The Machine  
> For Kara and Lena together- "Pluto's Moon" by My Brightest Moon, "Don't Lose Your Light" by Andy Lange, "What If This Storm Ends" by Snow Patrol, "Born" by OneRepublic, "Like Real People Do" by Hozier, "Not Sure Yet" by Andy Lange, and the song that was probably the biggest inspiration for this story- "Falling" by Florence + The Machine)


	22. Question to the readers

(I've been thinking about making a sequel to this work. Would anyone be interested in reading it? If so, please let me know and I'll start to plan one out. I've got a few ideas swirling, but if people just want me to leave it as it's own thing, I get that too, haha.)


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